Laughs

How to Look Younger and Thinner

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For my birthday last year, I told everyone that I was 25. My kids told their teachers that I was 25. I had the number 25 put on my cupcake. It’s possible that I even told you that I was 25.

Everyone laughed. Everyone knew I was lying. We all moved on.

But when my birthday rolled around this year, I tried something new. And everyone told me how great I look.

Strangers told me they couldn’t believe how youthful my skin was.

Preschool moms told me they were jealous of how thin I was.

And even my mom said that I needed to bottle my secret and sell it for a million dollars.

Instead – I’m just going to share it with you (for free).

How to Look Younger and Thinner Instantly

This year, on my birthday, I remained in my early 30’s.

But I told everyone, that I turned 52.

They were impressed.

I look pretty darn amazing for a 52-year-old – don’t you think?

I mean, I should have these wrinkles around my eyes.

And – if I have this body at 52? Then I am TOTALLY going to be rocking my bikini at the pool this summer.

And can you believe that at the age of 52, I don’t even have to dye my hair yet?

I’m blessed, I know.

You Can Do It Too

At your next birthday celebration, add an extra 10 (or 20) candles to that cake and amaze everyone with how great you look, how young your mind is, and how you can still touch your toes.

People that were once talking behind your back about your crow’s feet and sagging boobs will be asking you to share your beauty secrets and fitness tips with them.

And that’s when you can just smile and say, “40 is the new 60.”

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20 Comments

  1. Janine Huldie

    April 16, 2013 at 7:01 am

    Lol, love it 40 is the new 60!!! Needed this laugh this ealry in the morning, thanks!! 🙂

  2. Vanessa

    April 16, 2013 at 7:07 am

    I could do this next year but nobody will ever see me in a bikini. Some things should remain unseen and that is one of them.

  3. Dona

    April 16, 2013 at 8:59 am

    Uh, I don’t think so. I’m already 66…..but 76? No. Well, maybe. Huh. Might work. Yeah, the idea is growing on me! thanks!

  4. The Sadder But Wiser Girl

    April 16, 2013 at 10:06 am

    HA HA! I’m turning 39 in a couple of weeks, maybe I need to tell them I’m turning 60. Though that probably won’t fly since I have a four year old, huh?

  5. KpMcD

    April 16, 2013 at 10:39 am

    Thanks for the chuckle! And think of how much your husband must love being with such a hot, youthful looking Cougar! 🙂

  6. Lisa

    April 16, 2013 at 11:32 am

    Thanks for the laugh…Especially since I just turned 44. So, really, I’m 64? Or just a bad looking 24 year old?

  7. Kristy

    April 16, 2013 at 11:50 am

    Haha!! Great idea! I guess given that I am preggo with #3, it wouldn’t be unreasonable to say that I’m at least 40, and people might actually believe it! Since I have always looked young for my age, they’ll be super impressed! 😉

  8. Momchalant

    April 16, 2013 at 12:14 pm

    This is hysterical. Unfortunately, I still look like I’m 16 so I think people will catch on to my lie.

  9. Erica M.

    April 16, 2013 at 12:51 pm

    Oh I so needed this laugh today! Ha ha ha!!!!! Luckily for me, most people already mistake me for younger than I am. 😉

  10. Anna's Mom

    April 16, 2013 at 1:35 pm

    Well now we can’t go anywhere together because like Dona – I am not comfortable pushing my age into the 70’s or 80’s and with MeeMaw AND Nanny still in the mix……our secret will be exposed….unless we bump Nanny into the 130’s and work our way down….too complicated. Embrace your age – embrace your wrinkles (?) and your thighs…..isn’t that what your are always telling me dear daughter?
    Get over it!

  11. Amy

    April 16, 2013 at 2:05 pm

    My secret to appearing younger is to have a part-time job where I work along side teenagers and college students. No one can believe I’m in my 30s, because why on earth would I be working there as a grown-up?!

  12. The Dose of Reality

    April 16, 2013 at 3:30 pm

    Hahahahaha. LOVE THIS SO MUCH!!!
    I actually did turn 45 yesterday….so I’m thinking that I better go with 62 just to be sure that people are adequately impressed.

  13. Theresa

    April 16, 2013 at 3:32 pm

    I tried this when I turned 30 a (clear my throat) few years ago I told everyone that asked that I was 40! One girl looked at me and replied… “oh… I thought you were older”!

  14. Ali - Off The Mark

    April 16, 2013 at 5:02 pm

    hahaha, great laugh. I wish I had the guts to do that, but I’d be afraid of people believing me. 😛

  15. Cheryl Nicholl

    April 16, 2013 at 6:12 pm

    Excellent strategy. I often times just say 81 and be done with it.

  16. Vicky

    April 17, 2013 at 12:29 am

    When I read your post title I expected you entire post to be 3 words: Close you eyes. haha!! I like your thinking though;)
    Vicky
    http://www.thepursuitofnormal.blogspot.com

  17. Rita Marie

    April 17, 2013 at 9:47 am

    OMG! This is hilarious. I will do that this year. Yup.

  18. Jennifer

    April 17, 2013 at 8:56 pm

    Hahaha! I love this! Although I’m praying I inherit my mom’s good genes, she will be 55 this year and people tell her all the time she looks 29! 🙂

  19. julia

    April 19, 2013 at 6:10 pm

    totally doing it next year. 🙂 best birthday idea.

  20. aakriti

    February 22, 2014 at 5:37 am

    haha, this was really funny. i m gonna regularly read ur posts.
    bye for now.

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