Every now and then, I start to feel really old. My college days don’t feel like they were that long ago, but when I look around at my house in the suburbs and my minivan in the garage, and my three kids – college feels like it was several lifetimes ago.
When I really start missing my college days, I dress in my tightest pre-baby clothes. I put on sunglasses and a cowgirl hat and try to look really cool and young.
I take the kids to the mall and get myself a venti Starbucks drink.
And I pretend that I am getting paid to watch these crazy kids.
I pretend I’m the nanny.
I make them call me Anna.
Every time they say, MOMMY – I say – “Your mommy will be home from work in time for dinner. I’m Anna.”
When they act crazy in the mall – I don’t really care – because they’re not MY kids. And their parents surely aren’t paying me enough to care!
I pretend that I don’t really know what I’m doing while I drive the minivan – and I roll my eyes a lot.
And if I’m still feeling old when we get home, I walk around in my underwear and let them circle my fat (with washable markers, of course). Nothing reminds me of my college days more than having my fat circled.
TOTALLY KIDDING, OF COURSE!! I never had any fat to be circled back in college!