My Kids

Welcome to My Home, Please Punch Me

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I have a new rule for visitors.

Everyone is required to punch me in the face as soon as they arrive.

Please punch me in the face

Let me explain…

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A few months ago some friends of ours came over for brunch. (We’ll call them Mr. and Mrs. Land O’Lakes.)

Their kids ran through the door to find our kids, and we greeted the adults in the entryway.

Mr. Land O’Lakes and I tried to hug each other, but somehow he ended up punching me in the face.

We were both a little surprised, but it didn’t hurt too much, so we laughed it off and proceeded to enjoy our brunch.

We ate. We drank. We laughed.

Our kids played with their kids, and everyone was having a great time.

Until one of my kids became a crazy, wild monster and did something very naughty. I won’t share what happened because it really doesn’t matter. It was typical kid stuff (well, typical for an extremely naughty kid).

The Land O’Lakes family decided to leave. (I didn’t blame them.)

I was very embarrassed as they gathered their children. I was torn between wanting to apologize like crazy and wanting to make a million excuses for my child’s poor behavior.

Mr. and Mrs. Land O’Lakes were very kind – and tried to keep saying things like, “Our kids do stuff like that all the time. No big deal.”

But we both knew they were lying.

I was feeling pretty terrible until Mr. Land O’Lakes reminded me, “I punched you in the face when I got here. It was no worse than that!”

Totally saved my day.

So now every visitor is required to punch me in the face upon entering my home. So I can say things during their visit like,

Oh – my house isn’t clean enough for you?

Well at least I didn’t punch you in the face!

What? My kid peed on your leg?

Well, at least he didn’t punch you in the face!

You found glass in your food?

Well, at least I didn’t punch you in the face!

See? Perfect!

15 Comments

  1. Whitney

    March 15, 2012 at 9:03 am

    HAHA…Maybe I should start trying that!

  2. sue

    March 15, 2012 at 9:14 am

    lol! thanks for the laugh…i’m going to try this becuae my kids are pretty naughty. my three year old did really pee on someone’s lap one day….lol

  3. Kim

    March 15, 2012 at 9:52 am

    Ack! It’s what I call MMM (mortifying Mommy moment)…but at least you were punched in the face…it’s all good. I might make a sign that says that…LOL

  4. hollow tree ventures

    March 15, 2012 at 12:15 pm

    Great idea – I’m doing that at my house! And how often do you get to think, “Thank goodness I got punched in the face?” Not very, I’m guessing.

  5. Haley

    March 15, 2012 at 12:19 pm

    Genius! Although you need to make it seem an accident each time or then they will just come back with, “but you asked me to punch you!” Could be fun coming up with different ways to get punched.

  6. Caroline72

    March 15, 2012 at 1:27 pm

    You make me smile with that crazy things you did to went back, maybe I should try this kind…

  7. Trexcy

    March 15, 2012 at 2:30 pm

    I want something more crazy funny creation, thanks for making me 🙂 …

  8. sparkling74

    March 15, 2012 at 8:35 pm

    You know I am DYING to know what your naughty child did! HOw naughty can it be that you can’t mention it???? DY.ING to know!!

  9. imklvr

    March 15, 2012 at 10:33 pm

    Hmmm, seems like a good way to start out a visit, but I think Haley has a point. It has to LOOK like an accident. Sorry, though, I just can’t imagine those beautiful children of yours doing ANYTHING wrong. So, do the people still speak to you? if not, guess what? It’s THEIR loss! hehe

  10. paxton

    March 16, 2012 at 9:48 pm

    hahaha, this totally made my day better. thanks 🙂

  11. Paige Kellerman

    March 16, 2012 at 9:50 pm

    I think I love this post. No, I’m sure of it.

  12. Amy Kirchhoff

    March 20, 2012 at 8:08 am

    This is flipping’ hilarious!!!

  13. Mimi

    March 20, 2012 at 12:30 pm

    LOL!!!

  14. [email protected]

    March 20, 2012 at 10:22 pm

    Thanks for the laugh..I needed that..I am your newest follower!

  15. Tamara @ Etcetorize

    March 21, 2012 at 10:15 am

    LOL! I don’t have kids but maybe I could use this with my cats~

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