10 Signs that You’ve Been Married for More than 10 Years

Even Steven and I celebrated our 11-year wedding anniversary last summer. And by celebrated, I mean that he offered to help me get my compression hose on before he left for work.

Now I’m not going to tell you that the spark is gone from our marriage.

It’s not.

But things are far different than they were on our 1-year-wedding anniversary.

On our 1-year wedding anniversary, we spent the weekend at a gorgeous bed and breakfast. We gazed into each other’s eyes and talked about our dreams for the future. We laughed about how we made it through the first year of marriage that everyone said would be so hard. We gave each other thoughtful gifts that we could cherish forever. Then we gazed into each other’s eyes a little more.

10 years later, and life is a bit different.

We now have a house in the suburbs, three little kids, a big hairy dog and let’s not forget about that minivan…

And the last time we gazed into each other’s eyes was when I mistakenly used the internet to diagnose myself with glaucoma and was trying to get him to confirm my diagnosis.

We care less about gifts and more about having clean underwear and kids that let us sleep all night long.

So when our 11th wedding anniversary rolled around, we both forgot a little bit.

Well, more than a little bit.

We just flat out forgot.

In fact, Even Steven had to check the date on his wedding band.

And even then he wished me a Happy 12th Anniversary – which I guess means he doesn’t have to remember this year at all. (And he’s not so great at math.)

10 Signs That You’ve Been Married for More than 10 Years

1. Facebook has to remind you that it’s your anniversary.

2. Who needs jewelry or a vacation? All you really want is someone to do the laundry and clean the toilets.

3. Your intimate anniversary dinner has morphed into taking the kids to an all-you-can eat pizza place. The louder the better.

4. You spent your anniversary gift budget on tree trimming (or braces).

5. You dreamed of an anniversary vacation together in a tropical location with a swim up bar. Instead, you’re taking your kids to the community pool.

6. You wish you hadn’t lost so much weight before your wedding – because then maybe you’d have a chance at still fitting into your wedding dress.

7. When you look at your wedding pictures, you can’t remember the names of all of your bridesmaids and groomsmen. (My apologies to the brunette standing next to my sister-in-law. You look lovely in the pictures, though, so thanks for that!)

8. Your dream anniversary night is your husband taking the kids out to eat while you have the entire house all to yourself. Seriously – can you imagine this? I’m drooling a little just thinking about it.

9. You go to watch your wedding video – only to remember that you used it to record Seinfeld’s last season. And you’re pretty much okay with that. (It was a good last season, amiright?)

10. You can barely recognize your life now compared to the lives on your wedding day. (Where did all these little people come from? Why are our feet so hairy? A minivan? Really?) But you wouldn’t change it for the world.