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    Home » Laughs

    Published: Mar 18, 2013 · Modified: Mar 22, 2021 by Anna Luther · This post may contain affiliate links ·

    Sobbing, Circus Money and PMS

    I do not cry often, but when I do, it is ugly.

    Very ugly.

    Most of the time, I don't really have anything to cry about. But then something will happen - usually when I have PMS - and the floodgates open.

    The floodgates used to open more often when I was younger - mainly at movie theaters - where I would be shushed and stared at as I sobbed loudly.

    At my brother's wedding, I'm surprised that my sister-in-law didn't turn around and punch me in the face - that's how loud I was crying.

    Tears of JOY, by the way. Just in case that wasn't clear.

    These days I go so long between crying fits, that it's like my body has to play catch up when I do cry.

    So there I was on Saturday night. The kids were in bed. Even Steven was reading a cycling magazine, and the movie We Bought a Zoo was starting on HBO. (Side note: we're lame.)

    Oh my gosh, I thought. This will be the best movie ever! Matt Damon AND animals? I'm going to watch that. I'm going to laugh. It will be so much fun.

    Ummm... am I the only person on earth that thought that movie was going to be a comedy?

    Well, let me tell you something. It's not.

    I haven't cried that hard in YEARS! Wait. Let me think.... yup - the last time I cried that hard was in April of 2006 - so that's what? Seven years ago?

    I had a lot of backed up tears over those seven years.

    And they all came out on Saturday night. Seriously.

    I was covered in snot. There were tear stains on my sweats. I sounded like a dying animal.

    Mid-way through the movie, Even Steven looked up from his magazine, saw me bawling my eyes out.

    Then he went to bed. Smart man.

    And even when I knew I needed to turn off the movie, I couldn't. I had to see it through to the end, and then it just got that much worse.

    Well - the ending was actually pretty great - but I couldn't stop the sobbing. And then I had a headache from crying so hard, and my ribs were hurting.

    It was no joke.

    When the movie was finally over, I suffered through "after-sobs" for the next 45 minutes. You know what I'm talking about? How you shudder while you're breathing and you never know when a random sob is going to break through?

    Yeah - it was that bad.

    And then I thought about waking up Even Steven so that he could hold me while I cried, and I could beg him not to buy a zoo.

    Or to buy a zoo if he really wanted to, but to know that I don't have any circus money. (If you see the movie, you'll know what I'm talking about.)

    And then I started feeling guilty and sad for quitting my job because I can pretty much guarantee that I'll never have any circus money to leave for Even Steven. And how's that going to help him?

    But I didn't wake him up. Because I knew that he would just tell me to go to sleep.

    I eventually did go to sleep. And I woke up feeling fine - but my ribs were still sore, so I went ahead and counted my crying fit as my weekend workout.

    And now that you know that I might have a touch of PMS this week, what other movies do you think I should avoid?

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    Reader Interactions

    Comments

    1. DeeDee says

      April 30, 2013 at 8:42 pm

      I'm late to the conversation but there is a dog movie, possibly by Hallmark that I can't remember the name of. It stars Richard Gere and is about a Chinese professor and his dog. I bawled, and I actually don't care for dogs.

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