Laughs

Sobbing, Circus Money and PMS

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I do not cry often, but when I do, it is ugly.

Very ugly.

Most of the time, I don’t really have anything to cry about. But then something will happen – usually when I have PMS – and the floodgates open.

The floodgates used to open more often when I was younger – mainly at movie theaters – where I would be shushed and stared at as I sobbed loudly.

At my brother’s wedding, I’m surprised that my sister-in-law didn’t turn around and punch me in the face – that’s how loud I was crying.

Tears of JOY, by the way. Just in case that wasn’t clear.

These days I go so long between crying fits, that it’s like my body has to play catch up when I do cry.

So there I was on Saturday night. The kids were in bed. Even Steven was reading a cycling magazine, and the movie We Bought a Zoo was starting on HBO. (Side note: we’re lame.)

Oh my gosh, I thought. This will be the best movie ever! Matt Damon AND animals? I’m going to watch that. I’m going to laugh. It will be so much fun.

Ummm… am I the only person on earth that thought that movie was going to be a comedy?

Well, let me tell you something. It’s not.

I haven’t cried that hard in YEARS! Wait. Let me think…. yup – the last time I cried that hard was in April of 2006 – so that’s what? Seven years ago?

I had a lot of backed up tears over those seven years.

And they all came out on Saturday night. Seriously.

I was covered in snot. There were tear stains on my sweats. I sounded like a dying animal.

Mid-way through the movie, Even Steven looked up from his magazine, saw me bawling my eyes out.

Then he went to bed. Smart man.

And even when I knew I needed to turn off the movie, I couldn’t. I had to see it through to the end, and then it just got that much worse.

Well – the ending was actually pretty great – but I couldn’t stop the sobbing. And then I had a headache from crying so hard, and my ribs were hurting.

It was no joke.

When the movie was finally over, I suffered through “after-sobs” for the next 45 minutes. You know what I’m talking about? How you shudder while you’re breathing and you never know when a random sob is going to break through?

Yeah – it was that bad.

And then I thought about waking up Even Steven so that he could hold me while I cried, and I could beg him not to buy a zoo.

Or to buy a zoo if he really wanted to, but to know that I don’t have any circus money. (If you see the movie, you’ll know what I’m talking about.)

And then I started feeling guilty and sad for quitting my job because I can pretty much guarantee that I’ll never have any circus money to leave for Even Steven. And how’s that going to help him?

But I didn’t wake him up. Because I knew that he would just tell me to go to sleep.

I eventually did go to sleep. And I woke up feeling fine – but my ribs were still sore, so I went ahead and counted my crying fit as my weekend workout.

And now that you know that I might have a touch of PMS this week, what other movies do you think I should avoid?

51 Comments

  1. [email protected] Days

    March 18, 2013 at 6:37 am

    Aw Anna…..awwww

  2. Janine Huldie

    March 18, 2013 at 6:58 am

    Oh so with you on the PMS this week and have a sick child still onto of it to boot! Thanks for the warning though on the movie, because I have cried enough already PMSing and if I actually got a free moment will remember not to spend a moment watching this one, lol!!

  3. Vanessa

    March 18, 2013 at 7:00 am

    I appreciate the heads up on this one – I’ll be sure to avoid it.

  4. thedoseofreality

    March 18, 2013 at 8:14 am

    Have not seen the movie, even though I am a ridiculous Matt Damon fan. Have to be honest and say that this post is not really giving me any reason to seek it out. I hate the crying headaches! πŸ˜‰

  5. Macushla Bubbe

    March 18, 2013 at 8:20 am

    What movies do I think you should avoid? After reading this, I’d hafta say…
    ALL of them! For the love of G-d, ALL of them! Jeez, I thought I was bad on PMS, what with my always finding something to cry about at the end of Grey’s Anatomy…
    So with you on PMS, tho. But it really does release the toxins… and is even diuretic, at least for me, so helps deal w/ what’s behind a lot of that cursed moodiness…

  6. Michelle Spiess

    March 18, 2013 at 8:22 am

    I get the same look from my husband! πŸ™‚ Safe Haven is another one that will have you in tears. I went to the movie theater with a friend & when the lights came on everyone was crying!

  7. Kim Swieder

    March 18, 2013 at 8:22 am

    Probably should avoid Les Miserables (yes, the title should have warned me, no I didn’t listen) and Wreck It Ralph (my kids are afraid to watch it again…I feel slightly guilty).

  8. Lindsay

    March 18, 2013 at 8:23 am

    I’ve been there sister…. What’s Eating Gilbert Grape was so deeply affecting, my mother had to put me to bed after. And speaking of mothers…. The Mother of ALL cry films is….. Ponette. It’s about a little girl who’s mother dies and there aren’t enough Kleenex in the world….

  9. Pam

    March 18, 2013 at 8:25 am

    Went to watch the movie Warrior with my husband. Thought it was going to be a UFC movie and I was going to die of boredom. Ending up balling my eyes out. Really good when u have to let it out. lol

  10. Katrina

    March 18, 2013 at 8:32 am

    This just happened to me last week watching Iron Lady. I thought it was going to be your standard historical movie about the Prime Minister and her toughness, but ended up being sooooooo sad. I sobbed through the whole thing. My husband thought I was NUT-SO.

  11. Wendy

    March 18, 2013 at 8:34 am

    Safe haven was awesome, but defiantly a tear jerker!!

  12. Lisa Whan

    March 18, 2013 at 8:37 am

    My Sisters Keeper. I watched that one while preggo with my DD and Hubby was at hockey practise. He came home and thought someone we knew had died and I couldnt even get the words out to tell him it was just the movie. I think he was a little poed when he learned it was just the movie, but he didn’t say anything.

  13. Mrs. C

    March 18, 2013 at 8:43 am

    I’m the biggest crybaby ever. My friend and I regularly update each other re: which AM 70’s Gold song made us cry in the van that day.
    My words of advice–don’t do what my roommates and I did in university. We rented Beaches and Steel Magnolias and watched them back-to-back. It was not pretty.

  14. VenusGenetrix

    March 18, 2013 at 8:53 am

    *Bawling your eyes out. (Unless you were hanging diamond-encrusted dollar sign necklaces from your eyes while they were passing out benjamins, in which case your eyes were indeed ballin’.) πŸ˜‰

  15. Vicki

    March 18, 2013 at 8:55 am

    Ummmm…..Beaches, Terms Of Endearment, My Sisters Keeper, Seven Pounds, Sophie’s Choice, Marley And Me, A Walk To Remember, Message In A Bottle, ANYTHING by Nicholas Sparks. But, then again, I cry watching commercials, so……

  16. Stephanie

    March 18, 2013 at 8:59 am

    Do NOT watch “Marley & Me”…EVER! I made the mistake of watching this while I was VERY pregnant. I was a blubbering mess! In fact, I think this movie would make me cry whenever I watched it. So….so….sad. Also, avoid “Where the Red Fern Grows.” That’s a tear-jerker, for sure.

  17. Jenny @ House Full of Pretty

    March 18, 2013 at 9:02 am

    I’ve never been a big movie crier, but I literally had to leave the movie theater because I was sobbing SO loudly during the movie Jack. DO NOT RECOMMEND! I’m sure it’s a great movie, but holy crap, I cried about it for a week straight!

  18. Beth

    March 18, 2013 at 9:07 am

    I am new to your blog. I am a SAHM of two girls for almost 4 years now and just recently got into other mommy blogs to make myself feel sane again. I stumbled across your blog and fell in LOVE!! Your humor is amazing and I completely related to this blog! I too am feeling IT this week….I would love to give you advice on some movies not to watch but honestly my list would be too long….The obvious ones are Steel Magnolias and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button to me but if its that time….honestly I could watch Cinderella and be all like “Those mean stepsisters….I just don’t get it?!? Why are they so cruel!!!?”…I just try to stick to Seinfeld, there’s nothing serious about that show…just what I need!

  19. redbootpearl

    March 18, 2013 at 9:46 am

    I cried almost all the way through “The odd life of Timothy Green”… but what can I say, I’m pregnant… I also cried watching marathon coverage on the news.

  20. Lesley

    March 18, 2013 at 9:50 am

    My husband is not a cryer I mean ever, and he cried at the end of Marley and Me, Like a baby… I mean sobbing. But then again it was like the exact replica of what we had to do with our dog so you can’t blame him. You are hysterical lady!!

  21. Dona

    March 18, 2013 at 10:29 am

    Oh, girl, I can SO identify!! And it was probably PMS for me, too, accompanied with turning a deaf ear to people who tell you about movies before you see them. So I went into ‘Terms of Endearment’ blind and dumb. And cried until I thought I’d be sick! Next day at work I’m asking my friends…”Why didn’t you TELL me it was that sad?” They say….”why do you think it was called TEARS of Endearment by the critics??? Still don’t listen to them. But I avoid sad movies like the plague!

  22. Kerri @ Elbows Deep in Someone Elses's Sh*t

    March 18, 2013 at 10:41 am

    I definitely thought that movie was a comedy! Now I’m scared to watch it, maybe I’ll just read what happens on Wikipedia and save myself the tears. I thought the movie Kick Ass was a comedy about a boy who dresses up as a superhero and saves people. *Spoiler Alert* that is not at ALL a clear picture of what that movie is about, I ended up rocking back and forth sobbing repeating over and over again “that’s some mother’s poor baby” while my husband gave me the look. They really need to make previews more obvious.

  23. Cat

    March 18, 2013 at 11:01 am

    Stepmom. Don’t watch it.

  24. Lisa

    March 18, 2013 at 12:03 pm

    Awww, that was a sweet movie. I have to avoid coffee commercials. What is it with kids coming home from college to surprise their parents? Yeah, chokes me up every time.

  25. alyssa

    March 18, 2013 at 12:15 pm

    Thats so funny! I was the same with The Notebook! Ugly, snotty crying, and still going 20 minutes after the movie was over. Why do people make movies like that???:)
    Alyssa

  26. KpMcD

    March 18, 2013 at 12:46 pm

    I’m so with you! I have recently put into place a “we are not allowed to rent movies about animals” rule in the house, because we watched “Frankenweenie,” and I definitely wept over a clay-mation dead dog. Not okay.

  27. Michelle

    March 18, 2013 at 1:35 pm

    I cried at the end of Hotel Transylvania. It started out as just sniffles…then I realized that my husband was going to look over and see me….and by then the sixteen year old HAD seen me and I was in hysterics trying to explain why I was crying about the poor sunburned daddy bat…. might’ve been some hormones there, too.

  28. Cheryl Nicholl

    March 18, 2013 at 1:50 pm

    Actually, it’s one my husband and I BOTH shed a tear or two during- Lonesome Dove, hands-down the greatest love story EVER! I love it when Ben gets a bit wet.

  29. Heather

    March 18, 2013 at 2:19 pm

    My husband gave me the same look when I was 6 months pregnant watching P.S. I Love You. My daughter is almost 5 & I am still banned from ever watching that movie. It was ugly crying too…

  30. Katie

    March 18, 2013 at 2:21 pm

    The only two movies that have sent me into aftershock tears were Boyz ‘n the Hood (I saw that one at the movies when I was about 14 and was nearly asked to leave because people couldn’t hear over my sobbing) and Life as a House. Oh god, Life as a House…

  31. Lil

    March 18, 2013 at 3:50 pm

    It’s never JUST the movie is it? My kids still laugh about the time I was in sobs first few minutes into High School Musical #3… you know, the one released in theaters. For them scene played of kid moving was just another move – we’ve moved a lot. For me, it was heart-wrenching pain of leaving were you never fathomed having to leave… it was leaving HOME. FOREVER. I still miss our life in Texas. It’s been 10 years and 3 states since we left. I’m gonna cry now. *sniff*

  32. Momchalant

    March 18, 2013 at 3:52 pm

    I think the most I’ve ever cried during a movie was My Sister’s Keeper. My boyfriend even teared up, but he will never admit that, so you’ll just have to trust me on that one.

  33. Lakeesha

    March 18, 2013 at 5:36 pm

    Stay away from The Notebook, A walk to remember and Pay it Forward!!!!!!!! I cry even when PMS or pregnancy is not involved!!!!!! Beware!!!!!!!!!!! πŸ˜€

  34. Jessica

    March 18, 2013 at 6:15 pm

    Never, ever, EVER watch P.S. I love you. Ever. I was sobbing uncontrollably. Seriously. It was horrible how unbelievably sad it was. You’ll thank me for this later. πŸ™‚

  35. Maggie

    March 18, 2013 at 6:17 pm

    Well, you shouldn’t feel so down…on Saturday morning, all the bikers kept commenting on how smokin’ hot you are. Just sayin’.

  36. Maria

    March 18, 2013 at 7:53 pm

    I totally support the crying! I also love that the soreness the day after confirms that is a qualified workout session. I will also echo several other comments – Beaches, Terms of Endearment, Les Mis, and will add Toy Story 3. Seriously. You may not want to watch that one with the kids. πŸ˜‰

    Love reading your blog.

  37. Tracey

    March 18, 2013 at 8:02 pm

    It takes a lot to get me to cry these days. The last time I cried during a movie was ‘I Am Sam’ but it was a great movie! Hmm, I don’t remember this Zoo movie being this sad….I think I fell asleep before the ending!! πŸ˜‰

  38. Kim

    March 18, 2013 at 8:41 pm

    Thank you for the warning! I’m the same way about crying, and I LOATHE movies that perpetuate that godawful bodily function!!! I truly don’t understand what purpose it serves. “Hey, something bad just happened – let me help out by wracking you with muscle spasms throughout your torso, floods of snot, uglyface-ed-ness and a headache. You’re welcome!!”.

  39. Miranda Grimm

    March 18, 2013 at 10:44 pm

    oh my gosh I totally cried and cried watching this movie. I tried so hard NOT to cry but by the end I just let it go.

  40. AJ Collins

    March 18, 2013 at 10:54 pm

    recent crying movie: Les Miserables… I cried until I couldn’t be quiet anymore. It was okay because there was a man who was sobbing louder than me sitting right in front of me.

  41. Vicky

    March 18, 2013 at 10:56 pm

    Well, I didn’t cry too much in that movie but I have to admit I didn’t like it very much. Here’s my movie philosophy: real life is hard work and can be depressing, my movies should be nothing but entertainment. I know, I’m a wealth of emotion and depth;)
    Vicky

  42. Ainsleigh

    March 18, 2013 at 10:57 pm

    Oh god I am so bad at crying at movies!!! For me – The timekeeper’s wife, Marley and Me, The Notebook, and definitely PS I love you. I could write way more but those are ones I remember sobbing at most!!! Oh and The Help. That was tough to walk out after at the cinema!!!

  43. Joanne

    March 18, 2013 at 11:06 pm

    I cried so hard watching Marley and Me that I went into labour the next morning (I was 3 days over due). Just thinking of that movie makes me want to cry….. Dog movies always get me πŸ™‚

  44. Bad Parenting Moments

    March 18, 2013 at 11:23 pm

    I can honestly say that a post about crying has never made me laugh so much. I was like this when I saw The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and even MONTHS later I would start talking about it, foolishly thinking enough time had passed,and would start all over again. So, unless you want to be hospitalized from crying, I would skip it.

  45. Gwinda

    March 19, 2013 at 12:10 am

    There are only two movies I’ve ever cried during ‘I Am Legend’ and ‘Bridge To Terabethia’ (spl?). And i could not stop crying!

  46. Heidi

    March 19, 2013 at 12:16 am

    Steele Magnolias! Gawd that movie wrecked me at the end.

  47. Alexis

    March 19, 2013 at 1:28 am

    Oh, I am a crying lady every time I watch touching movies. I can’t forget dragon Heart! I cried a river over that movie again and again…

  48. Kim Swieder

    March 19, 2013 at 8:15 am

    Everyone keeps mentioning Steel Magnolias and a funny quirk I have occurred to me. My Mama looked A LOT like Sally Field in that movie when I was in high school. Now, every single time I watch that movie, no matter what time of day, I have to call my Mama at the end. I don’t just call, either. She picks up the phone and I say something to the affect of, “Ma-Ma-MaMa *sniffle sniffle snarf hiccup* I *sniffle sigh* I LUUUUUUUV you! *boo hooo hooo hoooo*” She says (using my middle name, which means she’s less than thrilled), “SHAWN, would you stop watching that stupid movie?”

  49. Seriously this movie! I have seen it like 4 times because WE OWN IT. Because I like to torture myself apparently. I bawl like a baby every time but it kind of feels good to cry like that on occasion. The video, the “Hi, Mom” in the cafe. It’s too much. I’m about to start sobbing just thinking about it.

  50. tkm

    March 22, 2013 at 12:17 am

    Yes thank you!! That movie made me cry uncontrollably too… I have no idea why either I don’t think it was extremely sad. It was cute actually but it made me cry nevertheless. I saw it with my best friend and she was so embarrassed by me that she almost left me.

  51. DeeDee

    April 30, 2013 at 8:42 pm

    I’m late to the conversation but there is a dog movie, possibly by Hallmark that I can’t remember the name of. It stars Richard Gere and is about a Chinese professor and his dog. I bawled, and I actually don’t care for dogs.

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