We used to get Tee Peed a lot when I was in high school.
It's not because I was popular.
It was all about the sheer number of trees we had in our front yard and the total lack of street lights. We were a perfect target.
The first time we were tee peed, it took me nearly a week to get it all cleaned up.
The second time, it rained on day 2, and we looked tee peed for months.
The third time, I was fed up. Sick and tired of spending my entire weekend trying to pull toilet paper out of a tree. So I got smart (or really stupid).
I took a box of matches, and lit the bottom of each piece of toilet paper. It was magic.
The flames shot up the toilet paper and died out before catching the tree on fire. And the ashes were very small, and didn't even need to be cleaned up.
From then on, I didn't mind being tee peed all the time, because it only took me an hour to set everything on fire.
So the next time you get tee peed, grab your matches, and set that toilet paper on fire. It works - for real.
That said, you do this at your own risk. I will not be held responsible if you set yourself, your house, your yard, your trees or anything else on fire. Seriously not my fault.