13 Things NOT To Do When You Have PMS

Whether we’re getting the finger from a mom at preschool drop-off or we suffer from it ourselves, eventually – we’re all going to be affected by PMS.

Luckily, I have a handy list of 13 things you should avoid doing when you have PMS. Follow these rules, and you’ll have less stress and tears next month (I promise.)

1. DON’T update your FB status
If you find yourself posting things like:
Who else hates cats?
or
Click like if you think having kids totally RUINED your life
or
Anyone else feel like getting a divorce?
…then you might have PMS – and it might be time to log off for the next week.

2. DON’T ask your husband how you look
Really? You’re going to ask him this question? First of all, no matter what he says, he will be wrong. Secondly, honey, you have PMS.

You probably look like crap.

3. DON’T ask for a divorce
You didn’t listen to #2 did you?

I’m guessing that a lot of marriages come to an end during the time that a woman has PMS. If you still feel the same way a week later, then go ahead and divorce that deadbeat.

4. DON’T move
Really, you should just avoid all of the most stressful life events when you have PMS. Look at the calendar. Does your move line up with your worst time of the month? Move your move. Or else you will probably be dealing with #3.

5. DON’T get a haircut
I always want to cut off all my hair or become a blonde the week before my period. These types of decisions should be made during the middle weeks of your cycle.

6. DON’T do Parent/Teacher Conferences
Save everyone some tears – send your husband.

And – if you’re a teacher – call in sick. No need to scar poor Timmy’s parents just because you have PMS.

7. DON’T quit your job
You want to tell your boss where to shove it? You think you want to be a stay-at-home mom? All that may be good and true. But don’t make an impulse decision during the week before your period. Wait 10 days. Take a deep breath. And then decide how you want to move forward.

8. DON’T tell your Mother-in-law how you really feel
In fact, if your relationship isn’t the best to start with, you might want to avoid her for this entire week. If you do decide to tell your mother-in-law that you HATE her new sofa during the week before your period – don’t say I didn’t warn you.

9. DON’T watch Snapped
Enough said.

(And if you don’t know what Snapped is, then either you’ve never been pregnant, or you have missed out on one of the very best shows to watch when you’re pregnant. Google it.)

10. DON’T talk to your children. Or your husband. Or the neighbor.
Just take a week of silence. Everyone will be happier for it.

11. DON’T overdose…
On girl scout cookies and boxed wine. (Trust me, it’s bad).

12. DON’T redecorate.
You have no taste during this time of the month. If you are thinking that the little ducky wallpaper border with puppy dogs would look great in your bedroom, then you have my permission to do #9. Just walk away from the wallpaper border.

13. DON’T expect to get anything done.

What did I miss?