Laughs
Cure for Muffin Top
By |
Want to get rid of your muffin top?
If you’re anything like me, childbirth has done a number on your body. (You can read all about my changes here.)
Or – you haven’t given birth yet – but you like to eat Crisco straight out of the can.
Either way – I have a cure for you!
Getting rid of your muffin top is actually quite simple.
You don’t need to diet.
And don’t even think about exercising!
Just do this little trick, and your muffin top will be cured!
Grab your skinny jeans that have been taunting you from the back of the closet.
Now grab a pair of scissors and make vertical slits around the waistband of your jeans until they fit.
Pull your shirt down, and you’re ready to go!
Muffin top = CURED!
Pink leopard print underwear that matches your shirt is optional.
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65 Comments
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Samantha
January 19, 2012 at 6:37 am
Now thats an idea I’m going to put into use today!!! Love your funny posts!
Danielle Higginbottom-Brown
January 19, 2012 at 7:11 am
Seriously, will you be my best friend???? lol!!! You are too funny!
Samantha
January 19, 2012 at 8:17 am
Great idea!
Usually I have to resort to ‘pants of a significant size’ to wrestle the last of my belly flab into tight fitting jeans. If I wear my normal jeans I can get away with ‘pants of a fairly insignificant size’ and I feel a bit more sexy.
Just realised you might think pants of a significant size are pants…I’m British, I mean undies of a significant size. Those other things are trousers. 🙂
Kai
January 19, 2012 at 8:20 am
Sadly, when one is a plus-sized woman (that would include ME) one is OFTEN built with a relatively decent WAIST but hips & thighs that are sadly disproportionate. For that reason, I haven’t worn jeans in YEARS. In fact, the last pair I bought was when I was in my 20s. EARLY 20s. I’ve tried them on in places like Lane Bryant. HA! IF (big, big, if) they make it over my thunder thighs AND butt, they absolutely FALL off my waist. Sigh. It’s like tops. Plus sized clothing manufacturers THINK all big women have football pad sized shoulders, Dolly Parton boobs, & arms like Magilla Gorilla. We can’t win. So the ONLY way someone MY size could use your awesome quick-fit trick would be to cut out the sides and behind sections of the jeans & elasticize them then cover that up with a loooooooong shirt. And that would involve – ewwwwww! – SEWING. Guess I’d better stick to dresses & leave the skinny jeans to you small ladies. However, I’m going to pass your tip along to my daughter who DOES moan that she can no longer button HER skinny jeas. (The lil’ brat – uhhh – dear.)
Kai
January 19, 2012 at 8:21 am
Oooops! MEANT to write JEANS not jeas. Good grief!
Patricia
January 19, 2012 at 8:22 am
After eating half a pan of brownies last night, I find this tip very timely. Thank you. hehehe
Jule Locy
January 19, 2012 at 8:36 am
Love it! I guess this would also fix the muffin top problem I have. You make me laugh all the time and Thank You for that!
Oh, and congrats on the new floor!!
Jules
Danee
January 19, 2012 at 8:53 am
Shut UP…you are skinny…maybe not FLAT-STOMACH-I-NEVER-HAD-KID skinny but you look great… I mean that pic of you in your underwear was DIVINE. I would die for that body… I mean your neck is a little wonky and the skin color difference between your head and body is…well….frankly really odd, but you looked terrific.
My trick? Shop at Ann Taylor Loft. I am currently wearing a size 6 jean and there is no flippin way I fit into a size 6 anymore. At OTHER stores I don’t wear a size 6. But I love to think “I’m a size 6”.
Kate (Knits in Class)
January 19, 2012 at 2:48 pm
I gave all my skinny jeans away. Couldn’t take not fitting into them anymore – of course, that was before I knew about your trick 🙂
imklvr
January 19, 2012 at 3:35 pm
Sadly, I never had skinny jeans. Ever. Was a chub all my life. Now that I’m an old lady and it doesn’t count, I’ve lost 145lbs! Like a whole person! I could by HER a pair of skinny jeans! Yeah, maybe I’ll do that. Let’s see, what size would a 145lb person wear? Last time I was 145 was in…uh…1974. Doubt I’ll see it again, but I’m gonna come as close as I can! Oh, and back then, 145 lbs was about a size 14. Sizes have changed, though.
Oh, sorry, this was about you, not me. LOVE your idea. Have I mentioned that I think you’re the best? Yeah, you are.
sparkling74
January 19, 2012 at 7:32 pm
Hmm I wonder if anyone would notice if I made slits around my fat ass thighs when I want to wear my skinny pants? Cuz I have some old JCREW gems that are asking to be worn but my thighs of steel aren’t letting them on. What do you think? Are we on to a new fashion trend?
sparkling74
January 19, 2012 at 7:34 pm
It took me a minute. I was like, wow this poor woman wears TWO pairs of jeans??? No wonder she doesn’t feel skinny!
cassey
January 19, 2012 at 10:10 pm
That is awesome. Now when someone you know sees you out they are going to be saying… hmmmmm… 🙂 Are those her ‘skinny’ jeans? Love it.. great mommy tip.
cassey
January 19, 2012 at 10:17 pm
by the way, i put your button on my blog.
Jennifer a
January 19, 2012 at 11:03 pm
Love this! Plus you are already tiny, you look great! All that exercising in your underwear, huh? Lol!
lisa
January 23, 2012 at 8:46 am
Hahaha! There’s also the rubber band trick which makes me mad to do, but it works. Have you ever tried that?
Tranquility and Turmoil
January 23, 2012 at 2:22 pm
Hahaha… well, I guess that’s about as simple as it can get! I’ve thought of doing exactly that to a pair or two of my jeans, but it just seems wrong to cut into otherwise nice jeans. However, now that I’ve seen someone else do it, I’m just going to go for it.
Hmm… now where did I leave those scissors? 😉
Deanna
January 24, 2012 at 11:26 am
Now thats funny but what a great way when your in a hurry what happens when it starts tearing more? Pants on the Ground, Pants on the Ground looking like a fool when your pants on the ground LOL But like I said AWESOME IDEA!!!
[email protected] in a Row
January 24, 2012 at 12:38 pm
Pretty funny!!
Jenn
February 20, 2012 at 10:21 pm
You are way too skinny to have muffin tops! This is a way good idea!
Ruth
May 20, 2012 at 1:15 am
Well, wow! Thanks for figuring this out for the rest of us!
Heather d
May 20, 2012 at 3:53 am
Love it! I do the same… But I sew in a bit of elastic so they don’t get to loose. About the other comments.. Nif you buy a bigger pair it looks like you are wearing a wet diaper! In that case.. I’d rather have a muffin top. Now… Losing weight would help… But I’m busy, and lazy!
Tricia
May 25, 2012 at 10:25 am
Kai honey, you just wrote my story a little in reverse! I have a big belly and smaller (not too small) hips and thighs. If I get jeans to fit my belly, they are humongous everywhere else! When I was “skinny” I had big thighs and hips and then they were too big in the waist and falling down. It’s such a no-win situation.
Same with the tops. When I was “skinny” I was rocking a DDD. All shirts made me look pregnant. After I had my son and went up to a G cup that wasn’t coming down, I had a breast reduction. Now those plus sized shirts are huge in the bust in arms and tight in the belly.
Thank goodness for yoga pants and GAP’s Favorite Tees!
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Karah @ thespacebetweenblog
May 25, 2012 at 3:23 pm
hahahaha, best trick ever. love the undies!
ME Stephens
May 26, 2012 at 3:37 pm
You are so darn funny! I have been doing that to my stockings for years (I was a dancer jazz & ballet not the other kind). I never, ever thought of that 🙂 Thanks for the giggle.
Elisa Ashley
May 31, 2012 at 3:49 pm
Tricia, Lee Jeans now make what they call “straighter shape” bottoms. After 8 kids my waist area is next to nil. I can buy my regular size and the butt and thighs will fit and the waistline doesn’t cut into my skin. I love these things. 🙂
And Anna…wow. I wouldn’t complain if that’s what I looked like after 3 kids. 🙂 I had 2, seven years later I had 5 in a row, and finished off with my last 2.5 years after that. YOU look fabulous!
Elisa Ashley
June 1, 2012 at 10:53 am
Hahahahahahahaha
Maria @ Feisty Tapas
July 17, 2012 at 10:44 am
That’s funny and probably quite true but I don’t dare to try it with my just-bought new trousers, the trousers I can finally fit into and wear comfortable (bar the muffin top) because I finally bought trousers in my new bigger size. Give me a month, then I’ll try it. I have found your blog through your being featured in SITS today and I’m really glad I did!
Alicia
July 17, 2012 at 3:16 pm
OMG! That is amazing! I’m totally sharing this one!
Thanks for the fashion tip 🙂
Kimberly
August 26, 2012 at 3:55 pm
My jeans fit like that….if they fit in the waist, they are huge everywhere else…if they fit everywhere else, they are too small in the waist.
Stupid effing pants.
Paige Kellerman
August 26, 2012 at 4:14 pm
Yes!!!!!! Finally a wardrobe suggestion that actually makes sense.
Kristy
August 26, 2012 at 4:38 pm
hahahahaha!!! I L♥VE this!!! Patent that idea and become a gazillionaire! ;0)
Shell
August 26, 2012 at 6:11 pm
Pure genius!
Naps Happen
August 26, 2012 at 6:20 pm
I read that if you spray lemon pledge around your midsection, it seems new again. Or, wait…was that another blog post? Genius! 😉
Brie - BreezyPinkDaisies
August 28, 2012 at 9:11 pm
I have totally done this same trick! It’s a great one 🙂
sparkling74
November 22, 2012 at 7:45 am
Ha ha ha ha ha ha you know this is one of my favorite posts of yours.
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Janine Huldie
December 1, 2012 at 10:11 pm
Just seeing this for the first time and love it. Seriously, Anna you are a genius!!
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Hip-Baby Mama
January 17, 2013 at 9:14 pm
I thought I’d solved this by buying new jeans but now that I quit my job, I need to find my scissors….
Maggy
January 18, 2013 at 10:35 am
My friend calls these “fat slats” – haha
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Mindy @The Inquisitive Mom
February 26, 2013 at 11:07 pm
This post makes me so happy! Getting out the scissors now.
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Natalia
April 4, 2013 at 8:08 am
who knew it was so easy! Forget the gym!
Helen Pellegrino
April 4, 2013 at 8:31 am
Please post a picture of this crisco tin and its contents. I have no idea what it is.
Ali - Off The Mark
April 4, 2013 at 9:36 am
holy crap. I will have to try this. I’ve got the mama muffin top and it drives me *crazy*
Krista
April 4, 2013 at 10:15 am
That’s brilliant…cutting edge actually. Hahaha
Momchalant
April 4, 2013 at 11:31 am
Do they stay up or do you need a belt?
Cheryl Nicholl
April 4, 2013 at 12:30 pm
Do you think this same trick would work if I just sliced those seams on my hips? No- everything would fall to my knees. Shit!
nicola
April 4, 2013 at 7:04 pm
Hi Anna!
I love your blog! I read it lots!
You write very comically and it is really interesting.
Thanks For Writing!
I also have a question. You don’t a;ways post new posts.
Like today you posted the cure for muffin top (hilarious BTW 🙂 ) but I read that post ages ago. I also noticed the craigslist post reposted. Is that intentional? Because you act like it’s new. Am I gong crazy??
Weather you repost pr not I LOVE YOUR BLOG! You are a great writer!
Thanks!!!
Rebekah @ The Golden Gleam
April 4, 2013 at 8:43 pm
Love it! Since I don’t own a pair of skinny jeans, I bet the salespeople won’t let me try it out on a pair of skinny jeans before buying them? The muffin top is the reason I haven’t bought them though since I can’t find jeans that fit my midsection and not sag in the butt.
Vicky
April 5, 2013 at 2:30 am
Wait, why do I need to use scissors? My pants already split on their own…
Just kidding;)
Vicky
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Jay {at} Purple Eggplant
May 22, 2013 at 10:10 am
You are a genius !!
Amy
May 22, 2013 at 10:45 am
What if I just cut off the legs of the jeans and hang them from my lower thighs with some sort of garters/suspenders, thus avoiding ALL of my fat areas?? I’m sure IF I shopped at Walmart I could get away with it…
Tatem
May 22, 2013 at 12:21 pm
now, THIS is a pin i can actually use and do. honestly, if i had time to make fruit kabobs in shapes…well, my kitchen would be clean enough to make them in. wonderful! thanks for this one!
Lindsey
June 12, 2013 at 9:08 pm
WOW… I’m laughing so hard! This is totally something I would do but not tell anybody!!
Hilarious. Keep it coming!
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Parri
October 29, 2013 at 4:59 pm
HYSTERICAL! Why didn’t I ever think of this????
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Rebecca Grace
November 12, 2013 at 7:59 pm
I cannot tell whether you are kidding or not, but it doesn’t matter. I’m still thinking, hmm, would that work? But how do the pants stay UP if I do that? I am so sick of the stupid “boyfriend cut” low-rise jeans phenomenon that I am actually nostalgic about those awful maternity jeans that had the high-waist elastic extension at the top, coming all the way up to the underboob area for bulging belly comfort…
Simply Skinny
December 3, 2013 at 10:29 am
This is hilarious! Funnier thing is that I may try it. HA!
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