Cure for Muffin Top
Want to get rid of your muffin top?
If you’re anything like me, childbirth has done a number on your body.
Or – you haven’t given birth yet – but you like to eat Crisco straight out of the can.
Either way – I have a cure for you!
Getting rid of your muffin top is actually quite simple.
You don’t need to diet.
And don’t even think about exercising!
Just do this little trick, and your muffin top will be cured!
Grab your skinny jeans that have been taunting you from the back of the closet.
Now grab a pair of scissors and make vertical slits around the waistband of your jeans until they fit.
Pull your shirt down, and you’re ready to go!
Muffin top = CURED!
Pink leopard print underwear that matches your shirt is optional.
Now thats an idea I’m going to put into use today!!! Love your funny posts!
Seriously, will you be my best friend???? lol!!! You are too funny!
Great idea!
Usually I have to resort to ‘pants of a significant size’ to wrestle the last of my belly flab into tight fitting jeans. If I wear my normal jeans I can get away with ‘pants of a fairly insignificant size’ and I feel a bit more sexy.
Just realised you might think pants of a significant size are pants…I’m British, I mean undies of a significant size. Those other things are trousers. 🙂
Sadly, when one is a plus-sized woman (that would include ME) one is OFTEN built with a relatively decent WAIST but hips & thighs that are sadly disproportionate. For that reason, I haven’t worn jeans in YEARS. In fact, the last pair I bought was when I was in my 20s. EARLY 20s. I’ve tried them on in places like Lane Bryant. HA! IF (big, big, if) they make it over my thunder thighs AND butt, they absolutely FALL off my waist. Sigh. It’s like tops. Plus sized clothing manufacturers THINK all big women have football pad sized shoulders, Dolly Parton boobs, & arms like Magilla Gorilla. We can’t win. So the ONLY way someone MY size could use your awesome quick-fit trick would be to cut out the sides and behind sections of the jeans & elasticize them then cover that up with a loooooooong shirt. And that would involve – ewwwwww! – SEWING. Guess I’d better stick to dresses & leave the skinny jeans to you small ladies. However, I’m going to pass your tip along to my daughter who DOES moan that she can no longer button HER skinny jeas. (The lil’ brat – uhhh – dear.)
Oooops! MEANT to write JEANS not jeas. Good grief!
After eating half a pan of brownies last night, I find this tip very timely. Thank you. hehehe
Love it! I guess this would also fix the muffin top problem I have. You make me laugh all the time and Thank You for that!
Oh, and congrats on the new floor!!
Jules
Shut UP…you are skinny…maybe not FLAT-STOMACH-I-NEVER-HAD-KID skinny but you look great… I mean that pic of you in your underwear was DIVINE. I would die for that body… I mean your neck is a little wonky and the skin color difference between your head and body is…well….frankly really odd, but you looked terrific.
My trick? Shop at Ann Taylor Loft. I am currently wearing a size 6 jean and there is no flippin way I fit into a size 6 anymore. At OTHER stores I don’t wear a size 6. But I love to think “I’m a size 6”.
Sadly, I never had skinny jeans. Ever. Was a chub all my life. Now that I’m an old lady and it doesn’t count, I’ve lost 145lbs! Like a whole person! I could by HER a pair of skinny jeans! Yeah, maybe I’ll do that. Let’s see, what size would a 145lb person wear? Last time I was 145 was in…uh…1974. Doubt I’ll see it again, but I’m gonna come as close as I can! Oh, and back then, 145 lbs was about a size 14. Sizes have changed, though.
Oh, sorry, this was about you, not me. LOVE your idea. Have I mentioned that I think you’re the best? Yeah, you are.
Hmm I wonder if anyone would notice if I made slits around my fat ass thighs when I want to wear my skinny pants? Cuz I have some old JCREW gems that are asking to be worn but my thighs of steel aren’t letting them on. What do you think? Are we on to a new fashion trend?
It took me a minute. I was like, wow this poor woman wears TWO pairs of jeans??? No wonder she doesn’t feel skinny!
That is awesome. Now when someone you know sees you out they are going to be saying… hmmmmm… 🙂 Are those her ‘skinny’ jeans? Love it.. great mommy tip.
by the way, i put your button on my blog.
Love this! Plus you are already tiny, you look great! All that exercising in your underwear, huh? Lol!
Hahaha! There’s also the rubber band trick which makes me mad to do, but it works. Have you ever tried that?
Hahaha… well, I guess that’s about as simple as it can get! I’ve thought of doing exactly that to a pair or two of my jeans, but it just seems wrong to cut into otherwise nice jeans. However, now that I’ve seen someone else do it, I’m just going to go for it.
Hmm… now where did I leave those scissors? 😉
Now thats funny but what a great way when your in a hurry what happens when it starts tearing more? Pants on the Ground, Pants on the Ground looking like a fool when your pants on the ground LOL But like I said AWESOME IDEA!!!
Pretty funny!!
You are way too skinny to have muffin tops! This is a way good idea!
Well, wow! Thanks for figuring this out for the rest of us!
Love it! I do the same… But I sew in a bit of elastic so they don’t get to loose. About the other comments.. Nif you buy a bigger pair it looks like you are wearing a wet diaper! In that case.. I’d rather have a muffin top. Now… Losing weight would help… But I’m busy, and lazy!
Kai honey, you just wrote my story a little in reverse! I have a big belly and smaller (not too small) hips and thighs. If I get jeans to fit my belly, they are humongous everywhere else! When I was “skinny” I had big thighs and hips and then they were too big in the waist and falling down. It’s such a no-win situation.
Same with the tops. When I was “skinny” I was rocking a DDD. All shirts made me look pregnant. After I had my son and went up to a G cup that wasn’t coming down, I had a breast reduction. Now those plus sized shirts are huge in the bust in arms and tight in the belly.
Thank goodness for yoga pants and GAP’s Favorite Tees!
hahahaha, best trick ever. love the undies!
You are so darn funny! I have been doing that to my stockings for years (I was a dancer jazz & ballet not the other kind). I never, ever thought of that 🙂 Thanks for the giggle.
Tricia, Lee Jeans now make what they call “straighter shape” bottoms. After 8 kids my waist area is next to nil. I can buy my regular size and the butt and thighs will fit and the waistline doesn’t cut into my skin. I love these things. 🙂
And Anna…wow. I wouldn’t complain if that’s what I looked like after 3 kids. 🙂 I had 2, seven years later I had 5 in a row, and finished off with my last 2.5 years after that. YOU look fabulous!
Hahahahahahahaha
That’s funny and probably quite true but I don’t dare to try it with my just-bought new trousers, the trousers I can finally fit into and wear comfortable (bar the muffin top) because I finally bought trousers in my new bigger size. Give me a month, then I’ll try it. I have found your blog through your being featured in SITS today and I’m really glad I did!
OMG! That is amazing! I’m totally sharing this one!
Thanks for the fashion tip 🙂
My jeans fit like that….if they fit in the waist, they are huge everywhere else…if they fit everywhere else, they are too small in the waist.
Stupid effing pants.
Yes!!!!!! Finally a wardrobe suggestion that actually makes sense.
hahahahaha!!! I L♥VE this!!! Patent that idea and become a gazillionaire! ;0)
Pure genius!
I read that if you spray lemon pledge around your midsection, it seems new again. Or, wait…was that another blog post? Genius! 😉
I have totally done this same trick! It’s a great one 🙂
Ha ha ha ha ha ha you know this is one of my favorite posts of yours.
Just seeing this for the first time and love it. Seriously, Anna you are a genius!!
I thought I’d solved this by buying new jeans but now that I quit my job, I need to find my scissors….
My friend calls these “fat slats” – haha
This post makes me so happy! Getting out the scissors now.
who knew it was so easy! Forget the gym!
Please post a picture of this crisco tin and its contents. I have no idea what it is.
holy crap. I will have to try this. I’ve got the mama muffin top and it drives me *crazy*
That’s brilliant…cutting edge actually. Hahaha
Do they stay up or do you need a belt?
Do you think this same trick would work if I just sliced those seams on my hips? No- everything would fall to my knees. Shit!
Hi Anna!
I love your blog! I read it lots!
You write very comically and it is really interesting.
Thanks For Writing!
I also have a question. You don’t a;ways post new posts.
Like today you posted the cure for muffin top (hilarious BTW 🙂 ) but I read that post ages ago. I also noticed the craigslist post reposted. Is that intentional? Because you act like it’s new. Am I gong crazy??
Weather you repost pr not I LOVE YOUR BLOG! You are a great writer!
Thanks!!!
Love it! Since I don’t own a pair of skinny jeans, I bet the salespeople won’t let me try it out on a pair of skinny jeans before buying them? The muffin top is the reason I haven’t bought them though since I can’t find jeans that fit my midsection and not sag in the butt.
Wait, why do I need to use scissors? My pants already split on their own…
Just kidding;)
Vicky
You are a genius !!
What if I just cut off the legs of the jeans and hang them from my lower thighs with some sort of garters/suspenders, thus avoiding ALL of my fat areas?? I’m sure IF I shopped at Walmart I could get away with it…
now, THIS is a pin i can actually use and do. honestly, if i had time to make fruit kabobs in shapes…well, my kitchen would be clean enough to make them in. wonderful! thanks for this one!
WOW… I’m laughing so hard! This is totally something I would do but not tell anybody!!
Hilarious. Keep it coming!
HYSTERICAL! Why didn’t I ever think of this????
I cannot tell whether you are kidding or not, but it doesn’t matter. I’m still thinking, hmm, would that work? But how do the pants stay UP if I do that? I am so sick of the stupid “boyfriend cut” low-rise jeans phenomenon that I am actually nostalgic about those awful maternity jeans that had the high-waist elastic extension at the top, coming all the way up to the underboob area for bulging belly comfort…
This is hilarious! Funnier thing is that I may try it. HA!
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