How to Fake Clean, Cook and Iron

Women have been fake cleaning, fake cooking and even fake ironing for years! I just had to share some of my favorite tips that my readers shared with me last week.

Fake Cooking

If you happen to have a husband who likes dinner ready, or nearly ready, when he gets home and you haven’t even started – fry up some bacon and onions. Makes the house smell like you’ve been cooking for hours while you quickly throw something together. I realize my age is against me here…..you probably don’t have a husband who expects dinner on time…..but back in MY day… (imklvr)

Fake Cleaning

I regularly sprinkle Carpet Fresh around and pretend I’ve just spent hours cleaning. Occasionally I DO actually break out the vacuum and sweep it up. Sometimes some of the powder hits the dogs and that takes care of their monthly bath. (Shelly)

I put Pine-sol in hot water in the sink! My girlfriend hides bounce sheets in inconspicuous spots so it smell fresh! We all have our tricks! (Danielle – Piperloo)

Erma Bombeck said if she got word people were stopping by, she would drag out the vacuum and when her company arrived, she would apologize because they had caught her in the middle of cleaning. She said the vacuum had been sitting out so long she was starting to use it for a coffee table. (Robbie)

Sometimes I  wet a little towel with cleaner and put it in the garbage can. The smell lasts longer and my hubs really thinks I did something all day. (Rachel – Holy-Craft)

Fake Ironing?

THANK GOODNESS! I thought I was the ONLY one who used some of those lil’ tricks! I’ve used MOST of those (remember – I’m 61 – been around awhile!) and here’s another one I used when ironing was done on a regular basis back in the dark ages of MY young mommy days:

Set the ironing board up, hang a number of things (straight from the closet) on a rack in clear view, and lay a half-ironed ANYTHING on the board. Just before your hubby gets home, heat the iron & let a few strands of your hair be TOTALLY out of place as though you’ve been slaving.

When he walks in, look up from ‘ironing’ & say, “Oh, no! I can’t BELIEVE it’s so late! I need to get dinner started!” He will be so sorry for you because you’ve done so much he MAY take you OUT to dinner or at LEAST order a pizza!

Either that or you’ll have to put all that crap back in the closet after you dragged it all out. (Kai – Celebrating Christmas Year Round)