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A Very Important List

I have a headache.

I feel gassy.

There’s a child in our bed.

There are two children in our bed.

There are three kids in our bed.

The dog is in our room.

I have diarrhea. Or I did, and it might come back.

I might throw up.

I’m afraid I’m pregnant – I just can’t concentrate.

I haven’t showered in four days.

I’m just SO not in the mood.

My legs haven’t been shaved since 2011.

I smell smoke.

I heard a noise.

My headache is still here.

I’m Sooooooooooooo tired.

I have a cough.

I think I’m getting sick – I’m just full of snot.

I have this weird burning feeling… it’s just so weird.

I can’t stop laughing.

I’m in the middle of a really good book.

The kids need me.

Someone is crying.

The phone keeps ringing.

Tosh.0 is on.

I’m feeling better – if I could just get rid of this diarrhea!

These are all reasons why I can’t always get a good night’s sleep.


You thought the list was for something else?

Well – I have no idea what you’re talking about. (But what would you add?)

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  1. There’s a squirrel in the attic.

    I need to do the dishes but the sink is full.

    I need to pack for my trip.

    I need a Christmas tree.

  2. Loved your list and sums it up nicely. Need to add the kids need a glass of water, because that one never gets old or goes out of style around here, lol!!

  3. Lately it’s been kids waking up wet at night here. Not something that usually happens so it’s particularly disconcerting to wake up to. More annoying that waking up to sick kids, but less worrysome, too.

  4. -thought I heard a knock at my door at 5:30 this morning!
    – walked around with the phone in my hand in the dark just in case someone broke in, i could call 911.
    those are the two i would add today. 🙂
    have a good one!

  5. The dog has diarrhea.
    Should I put clean up after the teenagers or have them pissed when I tell them to clean up after themselves.
    I’ll see if the hubby addresses the teenage slobs.
    What is that stench– does the husband have gas or is it the doggy diarrhea…. or do I have gas?!
    I better not trust that toot just in case.
    Why does the husband snore.
    I don’t want to go to work today.
    Maybe I’ll just stay home and sleep.
    No, wait. The dog has diarrhea.

  6. I have blogs to write and blogs to read.
    My dog won’t stop farting.
    I had to “sleep” in my daughters room last night.
    My hair is greasy.
    I have things backed up on my DVR.
    My husband snores…loudly.

    I’m glad I don’t have diarrhea…yet.

  7. The dog is snoring
    I have to check my email-facebook-pinterest…
    The baby needs another blanket
    It’s too chilly
    It’s too hot
    The baby is awake
    The baby might wake up
    Dinner was so romantic…but now I’m too full
    My legs hurt
    I have to get up so early…

  8. I have too much to do
    My brain won’t shut off
    I need a shower

  9. -There are baskets of laundry lurking.
    -I have little to no voice, and a throat full of phlegm.
    -Dishes in the sink need to be done.
    -I need a really long nap.
    -Those presents aren’t going to make themselves!

  10. Brilliant list. My kids wake me up to tell me they can’t get to sleep!!

  11. Nothing to add really, just a little creeped out that you named off about every thought I had on the list in the last 24 hours. All except for about 5 of them. And one of your readers took care of the, “I think someone broke in my house and I may call 911” thought.

    It was really fun running through my house last night in my underwear just after I had terrible diarrhea to accost a burglar in the living room that me and my oldest son thought we heard. My son and I both grabbed “weapons” and his weapon of choice? A roll of charmin! I kid you not!

    I know this was meant to be funny but it’s seriously creepy how many of us have these thoughts and diarrhea! ha!

  12. Don’t have anything to add, but this definitely put a smile on my face. Thanks for that 🙂

  13. Can you be more specific about the content of your article? After reading it, I still have some doubts. Hope you can help me.

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