I am a great friend. Not in the traditional sense of being a great listener or dropping off baked goods "just because."
I am a great friend because I work really, really hard at it. Here are a few of my tips...
#1 - I am an average-sized person.
Do you like hanging out with really skinny people that make you feel fat? Me neither.
That's why I eat ho hos and bon bons on a daily basis. I never want to make my friends feel fat while they're hanging out with me.
Sometimes I get a little too thin, and when I see this happening, I just eat more Crisco straight out of the can.
It's the least I can do for my friends.
#2 - I don't do a great job cleaning my house.
When I invite friends over, I don't go crazy cleaning my house. In fact, I try to mess it up a little.
I don't know about you, but whenever I'm at someone's house, and I see a little counter-top clutter, I feel more comfortable. And - a dirty toilet or fingerprints on the bathroom mirror? Thank the Lord - I feel like a normal person.
I work hard to make sure my house is never too clean for guests - and I can always count on Big Hairy Dog (or one of the kids) to make it smell like a giant fart, which I think is a nice touch.
#3 - I make sure my kids scream bloody murder while I'm on the phone.
This does one of two things for my friends. It either makes them feel totally normal when their kids are also screaming in the background.
OR - it makes them feel like they are great mothers because their kids are NOT screaming in the background.
Either way - my friends don't feel threatened by my greatness. (And sometimes they feel so bad for me that they send meals, which is a nice bonus.)
#4 - I burn dinner when I have dinner guests.
I have to be careful with this one, because I want to make sure that I can offer something edible. But I always make sure to royally mess up something - just to make everyone feel like great cooks themselves.
One Thanksgiving I purposely left the bag of guts inside the turkey and made a big show of taking it out of the cooked bird while we were at the dinner table. Everyone felt very good about themselves.
#5 - I never look too put together.
My natural instinct is to look amazing every single day. So before I leave the house, I try to mess myself up a little bit so that no one feels dumpy when they're with me.
Sometimes I smear a little baby poop on my pants or on my shirt. I tore holes into the knees of my jeans.
One day at the mall, the entire front wheel came flying off my stroller - which just made everyone around me feel totally at ease. Who wants to hang out with someone who has it totally together? Not me!
Click here for five more ways to be a good friend.
How do you strive to be a good friend?
Kristen says
LOVE this post! My sister has got to be the most stylish, motivated, on-top-of-things woman I know. Which made it all the more baffling that she insisted on serving her guests (my husband, son and me) pumpkin curry soup with bits of plastic from the blender top that she had dropped in during the puree process. NOW I know why! Her moment of (obviously intentional) imperfection is the only reason I will allow her to cook her gourmet meals for us...which inevitably make my family wonder what happened to MY fabulous gene 🙂
Jelli says
Anna, you've done it again. What a funny lady you are. I've read your posts from WFMW and now I'm digging through to bring a giggle to my morning.
Kristy says
I am totally blog stalking right now and this post is the BOMB!! I loved it!!! 🙂
btw, I try to be a good friend too 😉
Holly Gagnon says
OMG's I've been reading through some of you older post and I found this one. TEARS ROLLING DOWN MY FACE!!! My kids are like "Mom, why are you laughing when you're crying?" Thanks for the super great laugh this morning. Holly 🙂
jamie says
Wow! I have never thought of being a good friend that way... I always strive to be near-perfect. Though occasional (unintended) accidents do happen.
Co-Pilot Mom says
Terrific! You have made me realize that I, too, am a great friend. I especially excel at #2 and #5.
Tricia says
This is awesome! 🙂 Hilarious.
Happy SITS day!
Ugochi says
This is a very funny post and I can relate with some of the afore mentioned. Congratulations on being featured on SITS, happy SITS day!
JDaniel4's Mom says
I hadn't realized how good a friend I was until I read this post! Happy SITS Day!
Mothering From Scratch says
{Kathy} I, too, am feeling like one of the best friends anyone could have! Nothing says friendly like, "Please sit down at my table with little piles of laundry on it and have lunch with me."
Leslie says
If this makes a great friend, them I'm a fantastic friend!
Tanya says
I totally agree! Have a wonderful Sits day!!
thedoseofreality says
This is HILARIOUS! We would totally be friends...you would still feel better than me, but we would laugh about it so it would be okay! 😉 Happy SITS day!
Tara @ secretsofamomaholic.com says
Hahaha...we can hang out for sure!!!
Most of my girlfriends houses look amazingly clean everytime I walk in- I HATE it!! One of my closest girlfriends has been a cleaning maniac out of the womb! I kid you not- as kids she would clean up after our lunches!!! LOL...her house if company ready ALL THE TIME!!! I show up unexpected just to make sure!!! LOL
I honestly have no idea where they store their clutter or if they have any at that!
Me on the other hand, I can clean for hours- day after day- and for some reason my house is never "company ready"!
I do however do a lot more out of the house with my kids than most of my friends...we are never home!
Chewy Mommy says
This post has made me feel like I am the best friend ever! I totally meet all the criteria! I never left the guts in the turkey but I have cooked meals after which we have had to order a pizza because the food was just too nasty to eat 😉
I have yet to have a phone conversation without a child having a total meltdown and my own mother says I sound like I have turrets when I talk to her because I randomly pop out STOP, SIT DOWN, or STOP HITTING YOUR BROTHER/SISTER in the middle of a sentence and then continue the sentence where I left off.
Lisa says
ahaha, Oh my goodness this is hilarious! I left the guts inside the turkey once, too. Classy.
Melissa @ Completely Eclipsed says
I wish I had a friend like you. See and all this time I've been trying to show off for my friends. I like how you went in the other direction lol.
Laura @ Pruning Princesses says
In your Sits description you forgot to mention what a great sense of humor you have. I love friends like you.
Kristin says
I don't even have to work at #4....I'm terrified of cooking, and only the most basic things are even attempted. With my luck, my family will end up eating glass one day too!
Jester Queen says
YES YES YES!! I'm the best friend ever in the whole entire history of the universe!!!
wait. whaddya mean that was humor?
misssrobin says
What thoughtful ideas. You are a good friend. Always giving, it sound like. Keep it up.
Denise Malloy says
This made my day - hope your SITS day is as much fun as you made mine! I'll chuckle all day thinking about this. You'd feel right at home at my house!
Classic NYer says
I do all of these things and still I have no friends... ::sigh::
Broot says
That's great!! I do the same things! Happy SITS day!
kyfirewife says
This is awesome! Great post!
{{ stopping by from SITS }}
Jean Lynd says
Oh my goodness...you have me rollin'! Happy SITS day 🙂
Whitney says
Yep, that's a good friend, not perfect and far from normal! Love it! Happy SITS day! Too funny!
Sheila Skillingstead says
Nice sense of humor. 10 reasons would have been too intimidating. Enjoy your SITS day.
Danielle says
I love this! It makes me feel like such a great friend, thanks! Happy SITS day!
bonnie says
hilarious!
Marisol says
haha these are great! and so so true!
krystle says
Hehe thanks for the laughter
Jessie Akos says
Haha! Loved it! When I first started reading, I thought, well, aren't we full of ourselves? And then you made me chuckle:).
Student Mom (Jenn) says
Whoop. I'm an awesome friend... you can barely get through the front door in my place.
In from SITS.
shari lynne @ Faith Filled Food for Moms says
Hi Anna! Sorry I'm late for your SITS day! But you deserve it! Many blessings!!
Jillian @ Hi! It's Jilly says
Lol!! Way to take one for the team! I must be a fantastic friend, too! Thanks for the awesome post!
Jamie says
I ALWAYS have "stuff" (papers, mail, projects, food items, etc.) piled on my counters and table (and sofas and floor.) Once, when my good friend's husband came over to pick up their child, and saw my kitchen, he went home and told his wife that he would NEVER complain about her housekeeping again! I was so happy that I was able to help my friend in that way! LOL!
Crystal Canga says
YOU are just the type of blogger I need in my life! Thanks so much for your humor! (I particularly appreciate the elephant and vasshole humor...) My kids were born here in Turkey and I don't have my crazy friends and family to keep me sane. My husband doesn't even joke about farts. 🙁 you make me feel at home 😀 so thank you!!
Guirande says
Looks OK for me!
sparkling74 says
Gosh, I never knew I was such a good friend too! I totally excel in those areas. It must be a natural gift 🙂
Jenn says
*giggles as she sends the link to her best friend* Totally awesome post...came here looking for a recipe & found this & can't hit the subscribe button fast enough. *laughs*