45 Ways to Annoy Your Husband

I’m going to be honest with you. Even Steven can be a little annoying sometimes.

Even Steven

Sure – he lets me write pretty much whatever I want on this blog. He encourages me to have girls nights. He gets home from work every night in time for dinner – and even makes dinner a few nights a week. He likes to help with the grocery shopping, the laundry, the cleaning – and on the weekends he likes to do family things like take all the kids to the zoo.

But – trust me – he can be SO ANNOYING.

He clicks his toenails. Yup. I’m not lying. click. click. click. click. That would be the sound of his toenails clicking together. And let’s not forget the time he banned me from Craigslist! Can you believe I’ve stayed married to him this long?

I think that women are naturally much less annoying than men. Therefore, it is our duty to ATTEMPT to annoy our husbands every now and then so they can understand the pain we live with on a daily basis. Amiright?

45 Ways to Annoy your Husband My Life and Kids

45 Ways to Annoy Your Husband

Even Steven

1. Duh. Paste his head onto other people’s bodies and post them on your blog. If you don’t have a blog, it’s just as easy to print them out and tape them around the house – like on his bathroom mirror, or on the gallon of milk or in the front seat of his car.

2. This one’s mean, and I suggest you only do it under serious circumstances.

When you get down to the last roll of toilet paper – hide it.

I did this once before we had kids. I’m pretty sure that Even Steven did something really annoying – or maybe I had PMS – the details don’t matter.

But when I saw we only had one roll of toilet paper left in the entire house, I hid it in my bedside table. The really frustrating part was that this went on for TWO WEEKS, and he never said a single word. Not once. See how annoying he can be? But I’m guessing this technique will be annoying for a normal husband.

3. Wait until he’s just about asleep and do my favorite party trick under the covers. Seriously – works every time. (video tutorial right up there for you.)

4. Eat toast on his side of the bed. Click here to see what Even Steven thinks about that.

5. Lock him in the basement and then leave the house.

6. Sell his stuff at your garage sale. My mom used to do this to my dad all the time. And every garage sale, he’d come out with a laundry basket, find his things and carry them back into the house. For weeks he’d walk around with price tags on his shirts that said 25 cents. I gave away Even Steven’s Bengals clock at our last garage sale, and he hasn’t stopped talking about that. (It’s been a year.)

Even Steven on the Potty

7. Post pictures of him sitting on the toilet on your blog – or on your Facebook account.

8. Call him at work just to chat. This drives Even Steven absolutely nuts. I don’t have a single thing to say, but I still try to get the conversation to last a full 8 minutes. So far, my record is 2 minutes – and that’s after 10 years of practice.

9.

10.

So – here’s the deal – I could only think of 8 things. I guess I’m just not all that annoying…

But luckily I have some amazing readers to fill in the blanks for me! You all rock!
Here they are:

9. While hubby is talking about boring stuff like computers… no matter where you are, immediately pretend to fall asleep (and snore….loudly)…bwahahaha – drives him nuts! (Natalie – NorthShore Days)

10. Walk slowly in front of the TV during the big plays of the game on some unspecified “errand”. My husband loves this! (worked so much better before the “pause live TV function”) (Molly B.)

11. My husband loves it when I forget to put laundry in the dryer and bonus points if he’s out of undies and they are all sitting there wet and getting moldy (Beth L.)

12. Wait until he’s in the middle of his favorite show and then ask him all sorts of banal questions about it. If you run out of questions about the show, start making random comments about your parents, his parents, the kids, etc. When he presses pause, apologize and stop talking. When he starts the show again, start talking again. Keep doing it until he catches on, then do it just once more. (There is a fine line between an annoyed husband and a sulky husband). (Amy)

13. When my husband is watching something stupid on TV, I show him every funny thing I find on Pinterest, whether I think he would find it equally as funny or not.

14. I also talk about the mommy bloggers I follow like I actually know them and they’re my BFF’s, and that drives him bonkers. I do the same thing with American Idol contestants.

15. If he makes me watch something I don’t want to watch (like the first time he made me watch Star Wars), I ask a billion questions until he gets frustrated and turns it off. I’ve taught my son to do the same. (13. – 15. from Katie O.)

16. Wait until your husband goes out of town for the weekend and repaint the bedroom pink. (Stephanie)

17. My guy HATES it when I clean the garage when he isn’t around. I always end up throwing / giving away a bunch of stuff. I never do this with his stuff unless I have already gotten the green light but he is such a packrat he has a hard time parting with anything. (Christine)

18. This might fall more into “serious grounds for war” category, but if I win at Monopoly (or any game for the matter), he gets grouchy and sulks for days. (Meredith – The Mom of the Year)

19. Ask for a drink from his cup and drink all of it but a swallow at the end. (Kat)

20. Threaten to hide his race car before race day. It drives him nuts because he knows one day I will make good on my threat. (Anette) Editor’s note: I really don’t understand this one at all – but for some reason it makes me laugh really, really hard…

21. Use his razor. They love that. Makes them have warm fuzzy thoughts of you in the AM.

22. Wear his socks (drives my husband crazy).

23. Make sure your car is ALWAYS about a gas-hand-width above empty when he gets in to drive it someplace. They like to feel needed.
21. – 23. (From Kim)

22. If you have babies: once the Diaper Genie is full, casually suggest to your hubby that the baby’s diaper could use changing. I’ve avoided emptying out that thing for years using this method! (Bridgette)

23. I give my husband wet willy’s when he is trying to fall asleep…or stick my finger up his nose. (April)

24. When he leaves the room to fetch a drink from the kitchen, I wait until he gets back, sits down, and then ask him where’s the drink I asked for? {Which of course, I never did ..lol} Mostly he’s not sure, so he goes back – 99% of the time I drink Coca Cola therefore, that’s what he brings back ……. only for me to tell him I actually asked for juice! (Linda)

25.Leave hair in his hair brush and leave it on the bathroom counter (this is how i got him trained on putting the toilet seat down after using it… every time he left the seat up he got a gross hairbrush full of hair :-D )

26. I wait for him to go for his lazy afternoon nap on his day off…. wait for 15 mins of his snoring… then send my 3 1/2 yr old son to go wake him up…. hahahahah…. i love doing that to him. (25. – 26. from Chaitna)

27. I ‘clean up’ husband’s stuff and he has no idea where it went (usually stowed away in a location that makes perfect sense to me, like where-it-goes in his desk or nightstand or closet…) He comes to me and says “have you seen ____ ? I can’t find it – did you clean it up somewhere?” Excellent source of amusement/annoyance. (Callie)

28. Take a pic of him in his boxers and tell him there’s a contest called Husbands in Boxers – for the funniest photo and the prize is a trip to Vegas -and watch all hell brake loose – my hubby almost broke my hand trying to get the camera off me. (Suzan)

29. While he’s watching Sunday football, tell him you have to run to the store (if he wants any dinner) and while you’re walking out the door, let him know that your daughter’s poopie diaper needs changing. Then, inadvertently be gone for two hours. (Kate)

30. I like to follow him all around the house when he’s getting ready for work in the morning, talking the entire time about the last phone conversation I had with my mom (or sister). He LOVES that! (Rachel)

31. I especially love moving his things around. I pick his wallet and keys up off the counter and put them in the cabinet directly above the counter where he left them. Then I pretend I am sleeping when he gets ready for work in the morning and runs around crazy trying to find them. (Liza)

32. My favorite thing to do to annoy my husband is to giggle out loud at the book/blog/article that I am reading and try to read it to him. (Heather)

33. – 34. (From Kristen) Fart and giggle like a school girl. When he farts, smack him and tell him how despicable he is.

Initiate sex. Pretend to get the big o, then immediately fall asleep before he’s “done.”

35. My husband LOVES it when I *innocently* question him. Such as:

“Why are you putting the bowls on the top rack of the dishwasher? Just asking.”
or “Are you really going to wear those pants with that shirt? Just asking.”
or “Do you really want to pick that battle with the 3 year old today? Just asking.” (Michelle)

36. After you shower, leave your hair in the drain – or even better, plastered onto the wall. Men love that. (JD – Honest Mom)

37. I turn the channel to HGTV (which he hates) and then I hide the remote. He can’t turn the channel and I blame it on the kids. Only I know where the remote is and I magically find it later when his fav show is over. (Nicole)

38. I annoy my husband by playing “Name That Tune” but always making it an obvious tune like “Mary Had A Little Lamb”. Also, I don’t wait for him to say he wants to play. I’m a REALLY good annoyer. (Kelley – Kelley’s Break Room)

39. I LOVE to show my husband my latest Pinterest finds, which includes projects I’d like for him to do around the house. He won’t come near me when I have my laptop open! (Jenn)

40. When he is in a nice hot shower…. sneak in to the bathroom (don’t worry this is G-rated) and throw ice water over the top of the shower curtain. OOOOO it makes him MAD, but I laugh so hard every time. Eventually he laughs with me. (Amy)

41. When you are really annoyed re-arrange the kitchen then forget to tell him where everything is.

42. As soon as he gets home follow him around like a puppy chatting non-stop till he tells you to stop and catch your breath.
or

43. As soon as he gets home ask him to take you somewhere to get something stupid like a soda. (I can’t drive anymore as I’m blind. This works very well.)

44. When he’s watching TV get the kids and dog’s wound up and running through the house 100 miles an hour screaming at the top of their lungs. (41 – 44. from Melynda)

45. I LOVE to give him a play by play of who all the cast members of my Real Housewives shows are! Who hates who. Who is a crazy lush. Who has the worst plastic surgery. Who is dating who…it is awesome. He hates it. (Erica)

We can keep this list growing! What are your top husband-annoying tips?

175 comments on “45 Ways to Annoy Your Husband

  1. Haha no 9 – while hubby is talking about boring stuff like computers…no matter where you are, immediately pretend to fall asleep (and snore….loudly)…bwahahaha – drives him nuts!

    • Walk slowly in front of the TV during the big plays of the game on some unspecified “errand”. My husband loves this! (worked so much better before the “pause live TV function”)

  2. My husband loves it when I forget to put laundry in the dryer and bonus points if he’s out of undies and they are all sitting there wet and getting moldy ;)

  3. Wait until he’s in the middle of his favorite show and then ask him all sorts of banal questions about it. If you run out of questions about the show, start making random comments about your parents, his parents, the kids, etc. When he presses pause, apologize and stop talking. When he starts the show again, start talking again. Keep doing it until he catches on, then do it just once more. (There is a fine line between an annoyed husband and a sulky husband).

  4. When my husband is watching something stupid on TV, I show him every funny thing I find on Pinterest, whether I think he would find it equally as funny or not.

    I also talk about the mommy bloggers I follow like I actually know them and they’re my BFF’s, and that drives him bonkers. I do the same thing with American Idol contestants.

    If he makes me watch something I don’t want to watch (like the first time he made me watch Star Wars), I ask a billion questions until he gets frusterated and turns it off. I’ve taught my son to do the same.

  5. Wait until your husband goes out of town for the weekend and repaint the bedroom pink.

  6. This is so funny! I am a Gemini so I am naturally annoying, I don’t have any kind of arsenal lined up. My guy HATES it when I clean the garage when he isn’t around. I always end up throwing / giving away a bunch of stuff. I never do this with his stuff unless I have already gotten the green light but he is such a packrat he has a hard time parting with anything. When we first got together, he was a good candidate for Hoarders. Haha, that’s another one. I make him watch Hoarders.

  7. This might fall more into “serious grounds for war” category, but if I win at Monopoly (or any game for the matter), he gets grouchy and sulks for days. It’s hysterical. Love the toilet pic and off to hide the tp now ;)

  8. Threaten to hide his race car before race day. It drives him nuts because he knows one day I will make good on my threat.

  9. Just sit the new roll of TP on top of the empty roll (that is on the holder). Don’t try to be an overachiever and load the new roll. They have nothing else to do during their hour-long poop-sca-pades.
    Use his razor. They love that. Makes them have warm fuzzy thoughts of you in the AM.
    Wear his socks (drives my husband crazy).
    Make sure your car is ALWAYS about a gas-hand-width above empty when he gets in to drive it someplace. They like to feel needed.

  10. If you have babies: once the Diaper Genie is full, casually suggest to your hubby that the baby’s diaper could use changing. I’ve avoided emptying out that thing for years using this method!

  11. Hot damn! That is a fabulous farting trick. I am going to go and buy a turtle neck just so I can preform this trick.

    Awesome!

  12. I give my husband wet willy’s when he is trying to fall asleep…or stick my finger up his nose…lol

  13. You DO realize your children’s college education fund is going out the door every time you post one of these hilarious posts that could be a chapter in your book, right? I don’t know what I’m going to do with you. Just keep laughing I guess. That’s all I CAN do!

    I have no annoying things to add. I’m just not annoying. That’s why I’ve been married 3 times. Have to spread the goodness around. (bwahahaha)

    You are awesome.

    Dona

  14. When he leaves the room to fetch a drink from the kitchen, I wait until he gets back, sits down, and then ask him where’s the drink I asked for? {Which of course, I never did ..lol} Mostly he’s not sure, so he goes back – 99% of the time I drink Coca Cola therefore, that’s what he brings back ……. only for me to tell him I actually asked for juice!

  15. - leave hair in his hair brush and leave it on the bathroom counter (this is how i got him trained on putting the toilet seat down after using it… every time he left the seat up he got a gross hairbrush full of hair :-D )
    - use his razor blade to shave my legs
    - pour a jug of water on him when he is watching his irritating show
    - i wait for him to go for his lazy afternoon nap on his day off…. wait for 15 mins of his snoring… then send my 3 1/2 yr old son to go wake him up…. hahahahah…. i love doing that to him.

  16. You. Are. Hilarious!! Our running joke is that I ‘clean up’ husband’s stuff and he has no idea where it went (usually stowed away in a location that makes perfect sense to me, like where-it-goes in his desk or nightstand or closet…) He comes to me and says “have you seen ____ ? I can’t find it – did you clean it up somewhere?” Excellent source of amusement/annoyance :D

  17. Or take a pic of him in his boxers and tell him there’s a contest called Husbands in Boxers – for the funniest photo and the prize is a trip to Vegas -and watch all hell brake loose – my hubby almost broke my hand trying to get the camera off me – today’s post –
    I think we have a lot in common honey!
    Loved your post
    XOX

  18. While he’s watching Sunday football, tell him you have to run to the store (if he wants any dinner) and while youre walking out the door, let him know that your daughter’s poopie diaper needs changing. Then, inadvertently be gone for two hours.

  19. I like to follow him all around the house when he’s getting ready for work in the morning, talking the entire time about the last phone conversation I had with my mom (or sister). He LOVES that!

  20. I especially love moving his things around. I pick his wallet and keys up off the counter and put them in the cabinet directly above the counter where he left them. Then I pretend I am sleeping when he gets ready for work in the morning and runs around crazy trying to find them.

    I also leave whichever one of our vehicles I happen to be driving on empty when he gets in to drive.

  21. OMG! you are my most favoritist blogger ever!! My favorite thing to do to annoy my husband is to giggle out loud at the book/blog/article that I am reading and try to read it to him.

  22. 9 Fart and giggle like a school girl. When he farts, smack him and tell him how despicable he is.
    10. Initiate sex. Pretend to get the big o, then immediately fall asleep before he’s “done”.

  23. These comments are hilarious!

    My husband LOVES it when I *innocently* question him. Such as:

    “Why are you putting the bowls on the top rack of the dishwasher? Just asking.”
    or “Are you really going to wear those pants with that shirt? Just asking.”
    or “Do you really want to pick that battle with the 3 year old today? Just asking.”

  24. OMG. You are killing me. I am sitting here at my computer silent-laughing with tears streaming down my face. And the comments! OMG!

    My husband has been wicked annoying tonight because I am PMSing, and as we all know, husbands get very annoying when we PMS.

    My addition: After you shower, leave your hair in the drain – or even better, plastered onto the wall. Men love that.

  25. I turn the channel to HGTV (which he hates) and then I hide the remote. He can’t turn the channel and I blame it on the kids. Only I know where the remote is and I magically find it later when his fav show is over.

  26. Ha! I love the toast idea. BTW, I tried that farting trick and I couldn’t get it to work. I’m not giving up!! I annoy my husband by playing “Name That Tune” but always making it an obvious tune like “Mary Had A Little Lamb”. Also, I don’t wait for him to say he wants to play. I’m a REALLY good annoyer.

  27. Forgot to add that after I get him to guess the first tune (he never guesses- he just gives me one of those Even Steven looks), I ask him if he wants to play again. Without waiting for his response, I hum the same obvious tune again. I repeat as often as I dingdang feel like it.

  28. Refuse to take their call. In this modern day world of technology this is easy to do; just allow the phone call to go to your voice mail, answering machine or just simply allow it to ring. Of course, you must first realize that it is a telemarketer calling. This would mean that you have caller ID on your phone.

  29. I LOVE to show my husband my latest Pinterest finds, which includes projects I’d like for him to do around the house. He won’t come near me when I have my laptop open!

  30. When he is in a nice hot shower…. sneak in to the bathroom (don’t worry this is G-rated) and throw ice water over the top of the shower curtain. OOOOO it makes him MAD, but I laugh so hard every time. Eventually he laughs with me :)

    • I tried this once. However, what I didn’t realise was that there was a bucket in the bathroom which he then proceeded to fill up and, well, it didn’t end well for me. I am yet to win a water fight….

      • So he used brute strength and you used cleverness. You win.

  31. Man, I don’t have anything to offer, but number 8 is hilarious. I often call my husband at work to chat, and it annoys him. But I never thought about using it on purpose! Thanks!

  32. Finally, I read your blog! And it is hilarious. Nice job Anna. One of these days I’ll be a loyal reader. I just can’t commit to that yet :)

  33. When you are really annoyed re-arrange the kitchen then forget to tell him where everything is.
    Or As soon as he gets home follow him around like a puppy chatting non-stop till he tells you to stop and catch your breath.
    or
    As soon as he gets home ask him to take you somewhere to get something stupid like a soda. (I can’t drive anymore as I’m blind. This works very well.)
    or
    When he’s watching TV get the kids and dog’s wound up and running through the house 100 miles an hour screaming at the top of their lungs.
    Do you need more? I’ve got a ton. Just let me know. I’m here for you girl.

  34. I forgot one of my favorites. Wait till he’s almost done showering and spray him down with shaving cream or dump a bucket of ice water on him. Yep that makes him mad every time.

  35. I LOVE to give him a play by play of who all the cast members of my Real Housewives shows are! Who hates who. Who is a crazy lush. Who has the worst plastic surgery. Who is dating who…it is awesome. He hates it.

  36. I don’t really understand #20 either, but it also makes me giggle! #22!–just the other day I realized we were out of diapers. So I played it cool, but obviously made sure to ask him to change the next diaper and conveniently “stepped into the shower” at that moment. Snorted over #28 and do #32 all the time…:)

  37. OMG, I think we were separated at birth! LOL (sorry for this long comment, I couldn’t help myself)
    I love this! I have tears running down my face!
    My husband hates farting noises. His boss does it at work all the time and he can’t stand it. I need to use your farting trick.
    • My hubby hates squirrels (I mean really), so I made a pretty squirrel pillow and put it in his favorite chair.
    • I sold one of his beer signs on craigslist and went grocery shopping because he always complains that I spend to much money at the grocery store.
    • I took a picture on fatbooth and posted it as his profile picture on facebook when he forgot to log out. Which always annoys me.
    • When our kids were little and he’d change diapers he’d always leave them right there on the floor where he changed them and not throw them in the garbage. This annoyed the heck out of me. So one day I gathered them all up from a days worth of diapers and put them in his walk-in closet. He was really annoyed after that ONE, but even he had to laugh. My point was made. I told him that if he thinks it’s fine to leave them lying around, they might as well be lying around in his closet!…Now I do that with all the crap he leaves around the house and he can clean up his own dump when he is ready.
    • I even have a name for him too King Konya (our last name)
    • I guzzle his beer when I want to annoy him…works like a charm every time.
    • I put the loud ring tone on his phone: ATTENTION IT’S THE WIFE scared the heck out of him the first time…
    • hiding his terrible towel (Steelers fan)
    • Submitted his highschool bad hair photo to the Ellen Degeneres Show and posted it on facebook (have to do that on my blog yet too) and OH it’s a good one

    OK I could come up with so much more on how to annoy my husband!
    They call me the crazy German for a reason ;)

  38. I think I annoy my husband enouhg without actively trying! :-)

    And I think Even Steven probably had his own roll of hidden toilet paper.

  39. When he gets home ask him about his day. Then when he starts to tell you, whip out your phone and check facebook. Also works anytime he’s telling a really long story about crap you don’t care about. ;-)

  40. Oh my, this is fabulous! How about this:

    Ask him tons and tons of questions about his day.
    Ask him to share his feelings — particularly his feelings about you.
    Nag him about how little he’s doing to help around the house – but do it only when his team (in my house, it’s the Patriots) is playing Monday Night Football.

  41. These are all so, so great. I’m printing and keeping a copy in my desk drawer for when I need inspiration.

    However, I already do the “show him something funny on Pinterest while he’s watching something stupid on TV” thing so much that the BABY now picks up my phone, holds the screen up for people to see, and initiates her crazy fake laugh. Yes, I’ve taught her well.

  42. Love these! I annoy my husband (unintentionally) by leaving piles of my stuff everywhere, on his dresser, the bookshelves, etc. But when I am really mad at him, I throw things to be recycled in the trash cause I know he will pick them out to recycle them!

  43. this is too funny. I could come up with things all day! my husband HATES when I touch his tongue with my finger when he yawns. also works to annoy animals.

  44. Squeeze the tube of toothpaste from a random location instead of “the right way.”

    Load the dishwasher in any fashion other than what was specified in the manual.

    Put the toilet paper on the wrong direction.

  45. Steven sounds like my hubby, completely! This is great. I have done some of your top 8, and I will try some more! :-) What I hate the most, is that everyone things Scott is amazing for putting up with my blogging, photography and grad school, but no one gives me props for my amazingness, except for Scott of course, because he’s the perfect husband! ;-)

  46. A. I’m sending this list to my husband so he’ll stop thinking I treat him badly on my blog. He clearly just needs perspective.

    B. Here’s the technique I’ve been using for 8 years. When the trash gets full, just look at it like a game of jenga. Prop things on the top in haphazard, barely-balanced ways. Don’t even think about taking it out. Just keep making it taller and taller and stinkier and more disgusting until it turns into a work of art. Extra points for NEVER picking up anything from the floor when you miss the garbage can. Cue the sound of husband dramatically sighing.

  47. one of my favorite things to do is drive my husband crazy. I think its so funny! some of my favorites-
    I cut out a tiny picture of a monkey face and taped it over his drivers license picture. I laughed for weeks.
    I put all of his fishing stuff on KSL and put his work number as the contact. He was getting calls all day about his “free stuff”. Ha!
    I put kool-aid all over his towel. He used it right after the shower and dyed his cute body an incredible red. I almost died laughing.

    We love teasing each other. it’s the best part of our marriage:)

  48. Omg. I’ve been missing out. I haven’t done any of these. It’s going to be a very busy week.

  49. Hahahaha! My favorite thing to do to annoy my husband is to follow any innocent comment about clothing, the way I look, what I am eating, etc.. with “So you are saying I need to lose weight?!” or “Are you calling me fat?!”. Usually goes like this:
    Hubby: You are eating another piece of pie?? There won’t be any left for me! :(
    Me: :o Are you calling me fat?!
    Hubby: I didn’t say that! No, you are not fat at all!
    Me: Well it sure sounded that way.
    Hubby: You know what I meant. -.-

  50. My favorite thing to do that annoys my husband is avoid him all day, at least for a few hours. For example… If I am sitting on the couch watching tv and he comes to sit with me I get up. Or just straight up leave a room he just entered. And answer any questions he asks with the shortest response or just nod… After I do that for awhile, I will start complaining how I feel ignored today.

  51. I also like to suggest doing something he enjoys like going to the gun range, sporting goods store, see the movie he has been wanting to see, ect. After he gets excited and agrees, I suddenly remember the “good news” that we actually have plans I made without telling him to see my parents.

    I also like to put something we use on a regular basis in a really weird place… For example, we have a special dish we lay our toothpaste on, so I will put it in a cabnet or under the sink. After he looks for whatever it is for awhile he will ask me. I’ll either show him, acting very annoyed that he can’t find it himself or just tell him. When he asks why I put it there, I tell him, “that’s where I always put it.”

    Every now and then I will tell him I am going to make something he really likes for dinner, then make something I really like that he is not that fond of. When I call him down for dinner I say I changed my mind.

  52. It makes my husband bat shit crazy when I wash all the sheets in the house and then forget I choose to do this so we have to get the sheets from the dryer and make our bed in order to go to sleep. Such a relaxing activity when he thought he could just crash.

  53. Wait until he goes to take a nap and then start hollering at the min pin

  54. Flick bathroom lights on and off while husband showers or poops, it is sooo much fun!

  55. I am laughing soooooo hard I am crying …. Thank you ladies I haven’t laughed like that in a long time

  56. My husband used to cut his toenails and leave them on the bedside table, so I put them in his pillowcase ;) He doesn’t do that anymore…

  57. My husband will ask me if I remember something, and though I remember it clearly, I will tell him I have no idea what he is talking about. He will insist we had said convo or did said thing, and I will reiterate that I have no idea what he is talking about. He will go on, adding detail, and I will still act baffled. At this point I will ask him if he is sure that it wasn’t a dream. Sometimes, he thinks he is going mad.
    I have to do all of these to my husband. I have always said true love is finding the person that you want to annoy the crap out of for the rest of your life.

  58. I will wait until my husband has about ten minutes before he has to leave for work and then I ask him to take out the trash, make the baby a bottle,tell him I need the snow cleaned off the van before he leaves ect and then tell him I need to go to the bathroom and don’t come out until about 1 min before he has to leave :D

  59. My husband is 6’5 and I’m a meesily 5’1 and he hates it when I curl up in the middle of the bed. Either with my cold feet on him or half of my body on his side and he has to have up to his knees off the bed just so he doesn’t suffocate me with the blankets lol. Drives him nuts and he gets like such a baby about it.

  60. Watch his much-awaited sports event on pay-per-view, and tell him who won the game before he gets to watch it.

  61. my husband is super serious, and I’m a grade a goof ball. so anything i do has to be discreet. So when he makes me mad I wait until hes sound asleep and i shave patches of his arm hair off. it makes me laugh all day, but especially when he finds out what I have done.

  62. Wait til husband needs to take a poo n sit in the door way is best if you can handle it or outside the door and give him a play by play of the day include the cute things the 5yr old cat did while sunbathing keep chatting til u hear the flush then go in and read SM for 20 minutes double win

  63. Super numbers and super ideas. I make my hubby crazy by wetting his side of bed with sprinkling some water. The other by hiding his xbox dads which he need to play online games it makes him go crazy

  64. I’ve been married for 20 years and have done 99% of what u have said. I have a couple more like paint his nails and toenails and if u can put lipstick on him and rush him out of bbed the next morning. If he notices, say u don’t have nail polish remover! Choice words but he will laugh abt it in a couple of days. Just hope he doesn’t have a big meeting! And yes hubZ still adores me!

  65. Useful info. Lucky me I found your site accidentally, and I am shocked why this twist of fate did not happened earlier! I bookmarked it.

  66. I sneeze all over him
    Purposely ask stupid questions
    Keep the kardashians or anything with beeps or cursing on really loud when he is sleeping.
    Accidentally kick him while he sleeps then smile
    Throw away / sell / give away his stuff that he truly isn’t using as he is a pack rat to the point of saving old medication bottles.
    Deleting his shows off DVr. Ooooopsie technical difficulties ?????
    Yet them recording tons of Barney and sponge bob!!!!!!! Haha
    Turn a light on and leave it on. Drives him bonkers!!!!
    Have our cat walk over him at night and swat him in the face w his tail. Lets just say he’s been seriously an a hole to me lately and deserving of all of this!!!! It’s harmless and just try it. It will make you feel better

  67. OMG I am laughing so hard I am crying. My husband is in SO MUCH TROUBLE!!!! Oh I am going to have some serious fun the next few weeks!!!

    My addition is: if he hates some perfume or smell of some candle you have bought, spray it all over his pillows and blankets! My husband will be sleeping tonight with Chanel No. 5 hehehehe.

  68. Insist on hogging the tv and then facebook on your phone, having to rewind when you miss bits of the show you desperately had to watch.

    Go to bed before him to read then just before he comes to bed, turn the light off and pretend to be asleep so he has to stumble through the bedroom in the dark.

    Stand out side the toilet door when he goes to do no 2 and make torpedo noises.

    When he works late, turn all the lights off before he gets home so he has to stumble through a dark house. Oh and don’t cook him dinner either as you assume he already ate.

    Make sure you wash your work clothes and not his.

    Buy books or handbags online. Then complain that you don’t have enough money for groceries so he has to pay. When said purchases arrive, hide them and bring out one by one every couple of weeks. If he asks, say that you bought them weeks ago!

    Lucky he loves me!

  69. At random times throughout the day, I like to mess up my husband’s eyebrows. I act like he has something on his face and run my index finger the opposite direction of how the brow hairs are growing. Just one time, though .. that’s all you’ll need.

  70. Heh, now I have somewhere to point to when people ask why I have zero interest in ever even going on another date, never mind getting married. Who would have thought all those olders grouchy men were right when they said never get married?

  71. Am I seriously the only one who doesn’t find any of this funny at all? I would loathe being treated like some of these…

    • You clearly have NO sense of humour! I feel sad for you!

      • To each their own, I suppose. I have a great sense of humour, by the way. It just doesn’t mesh with yours. There’s a BIG difference.

    • LOL, nope, you are not the only one. At least there’s two of us who want a normal life! :-)

        • Don’t get it either, unless you’re both into “playing” like this why would you want to make you’re spouse’s life more difficult, when like can be difficult enough as it is. To be honest I have friends that are fine with this kind of stuff, because it’s part of their relationship. However, I for most couples, if your husband did this sort of stuff to you on a regular basis, would it be okay, or would it damage the relationship?

  72. Do a running commentary/monologue via text message. Make sure to ask questions then answer them yourself. Later be irritated he never texted back or answered your questions.

  73. Why on earth would you wanna do all that?? If you can’t stand the “love of your life” anymore and you have become such a bitter bitch I will most definitely get a divorce. What’s the point in making someone else’s life miserable…

    • Pranking your spouse doesn’t mean you don’t love him or that you’re a bitch, it means you have a fun spirit that likes to keep things interesting! I wouldn’t do some of these but some I have definitely done, it’s all in good fun!!! Laugh a little, life is too short!

  74. Lol clearly your lacking humor. Annoying the husband is all fun and games and sometimes maybe a lil pay back dh n I have laughed more pulling stupid crap on each other than any other time. Heck the kids get in on it too. It’s a family thing now! Lmao have some fun with life!!

    • I have humor enough, trust me… I have a great time with him not having to prank him, bug him or be a pain… all the time. It’s just that annoying your spouse is not my idea of a healthy relationship. If that works for you (AND HIM), I guess you found your match. :-)

  75. When my husband is in the shower he loves when I turn the hot water off and the cold water on! He also love when I turn the lights off before he’s done, sometimes I even take his towel/ clothes and he has to walk around the house naked!☺

  76. I do this all the time, without even thinking about it…we’ll be sitting in the same room together for a while, neither of us talking. The minute he gets up and starts to go upstairs (because he has to, you know, drop the kids off, usually in a hurry) I start up a conversation that requires a lot of back and forth and question answering. His dad warned him of this- it was his one piece of advice to him before we got married; “know that you can be sitting in a room with her for hours and she won’t start talking until you get up to leave”. He was so right! Drives my dh crazy!

  77. I could not stop laughing!! I have to agree with the woman who said use your husbands razor, and I will also admit to throwing out the amazing amount of papers he collects when he is out of town. But that is more a function of survival than annoyance, the annoying part is just the icing on the cake!! Lol! Thanks for the laugh!

  78. If my husband yawns and doesn’t cover his mouth, I stick my finger in there real quick. He hates it.
    Also, wait until he is reading a book and then tell him everything you’ve been meaning to tell him for a long time.

  79. Talk about how freakin’ hot Channing Tatum is! And gush about him the entire time you’re watching GI Joe. Add on to it by crying when Channing then dies in GI Joe: Retaliation.

  80. Giving him driving directions when he is behind the wheel. Even when we are going to something right down the street.

  81. i wait till he is like mid sneeze…you know that big build up moment….and then i say “bless you” and it stops his sneeze everytime lol he gets SO mad and will leave the room every time.

  82. Wow. These women are awful people. No wonder the devorce rate in America is so high.

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  84. I don’t think either gender is naturally more annoying than the other. I think individuals have their own annoying idiosyncrasies which are completely detached from their sex. Therefore, I do not think that it’s necessary to show husbands what it’s like to be annoyed, because they probably experience it just as much as you do. Couple life is already full of its hardships and annoyances, so why add to it? Why would you do this?
    Please don’t be a bitch. Don’t intentionally annoy your spouse unless it’s truly in good fun, and don’t spread “funny” annoying techniques to others either. I know “N TO THE M” spelled “divorce” wrong, but he/she is right.

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  86. Obviously the banning of Craigslist was annoying… if something like that happens again a nice annoying (mean) comeback would be
    “Wow. Good thing I scrubbed the toilet with your toothbrush when you banned me from Craigslist… I wonder what I’ll think of next?” And walk away….
    *Note. I didn’t REALLY use his toothbrush.. but he thought about it for days and never “told” me what to do again.

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  88. I love this. My mom and aunt tell me stories of how my grandmother would prank my grandfather. We are always pranking our husbands– that’s how we’re able to stay married for so long! Our country’s divorce rate may be up, but our family believes marriage is for life. Prank on!
    :)
    Record him snoring.
    “Hon, can you make me a sandwich?” Tell him, “sure!” then make it nasty. He won’t ask again! :)
    Start a conversation while he’s playing video games– especially during a “boss battle,” they LOVE that.
    He kept piling “stuff” in front of my closet door, so I piled it up and over his nightstand. Sort of like the Eiffel Tower of magazines and random junk.

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  91. Anna,

    Have you read about Beyonce the Metal Chicken on theblogess.com? http://thebloggess.com/2011/06/and-thats-why-you-should-learn-to-pick-your-battles/ This story makes me laugh out loud every single time I read it. Knowing you, she is going to be right up your alley.

    You’ll also want to read the follow up gift she got from one of her readers. http://thebloggess.com/2011/09/victor-refuses-to-open-anything-addressed-to-me-anymore/

    If I was this creative, I would send you some cool gifts too cause I know how much you’d love them!

    So my addition to the list is: buy your husband something completely worthless and a waste of money (like a rusty Beyonce chicken) when he forbids you from buy something you actually need (like towels or toilet paper).

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  93. That’s some passive aggressive shit, ladies. I try to live by the rule, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you,” but maybe that’s why my marriage failed.

  94. I don’t remember what he did to me, but it was something really bad. To get him back, I waited until he was in the shower and the room was all steamy. Then I went in and took a very stinky poo. :D He had to take a shower and smell it the entire time :D

  95. remember, payback is a bitch….not all of your husbands are hung up on you enough to think you can’t be traded in.

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  97. That’s it….between people saying that my sister is taking care of two boys (counting her husband as one of them) and all of this shit that women do, I’m just going to forget marriage– trust me I can live without sex

    • I do this all the time. Lol . Its even more fun so acidentally put your socks in his drawer.

  98. Oh, and when he asked, why the socks are different length, reply, “Oh really?”

  99. I am Aneesa by name from Australia, i have used every single spell worker on the internet, spent untold amounts of money and discovered they are all fakes…i was the fool though; doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. In the end, I decided that I wanted a tarot reading to know what my future held for me; I contacted a woman who lives locally to me and she told me about a man named (Priests Abija); he does not advertise on the Internet, has another job for income, has no set prices, makes no false promises and refuses to help anyone that cannot be helped and even helps
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  100. Last week prophetkalito the great spell caster brought my husband home to me suddenly after being divorced for a few years. He had married the other woman but it fell apart and he came back to me after 2days of prophetkalito spell to bring him back and it really work. He came to faith in prophetkalito during this time, even when I tried to give up, prophetkalito always brought me back. I love prophetkalito , who makes all things new .i give him all praise he also specialize in all kind of spell like,
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  101. Move things around in the kitchen. I move just a few kitchen utensils to other drawers, or switch the plates with the glasses. He loves it!

  102. I’ve noticed there are times his jeans are wetter than normal so I have to dry them longer and at a much higher temperature. Several cycles. Odd. Watching him put his jeans on for several days after satisfies my need to annoy after I’ve been annoyed.

  103. I love to wait until a key play in the football game he has been waiting to see. Then I stand just off to the side of the huge TV and flash him my Tatas. He cannot resist looking and as soon as he pauses the TV I go fold laundry. I repeat this untill finally he has to stop the game and come find me.

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  106. my name is Sarah. I’ve known Johnson for years, When we finally got together things were kind of weird so we broke up which was in February of 2011 In June of 2012 he and I recently got back together and we were together until march of 2013 which he told me he was not interested in relationship again During that time I changed completely, I wasn’t eating,I was sleeping a lot, I wasn’t talking to anybody, I cried a lot,I’m so depressed and stressed out that I’m scared I’m going to end up in the hospital because of all the stress and depression until one day i search online on getting love tips because I Love & care about him deeply and I just want us to be together as a couple again and I want us to last forever Google recommend me [email protected] that he will solve my relationship problem then prophetkalito told me he will come back to me between 48hrs after he cast spell on him never believe it until my fiance called me on the phone and told me he want us to come back and live happy together forever , Am so happy now that prophetkalito, help me bring Johnson back to me. Thanks so much(prophetkalito) his email:[email protected]

  107. My husband is jumpy. I wait until he gets relaxed and yell, “Boo!” He jumps out of his skin. We can be riding in the car and he’s starting to doze, I yell “Boo!” It works every time! Even if your guy isn’t jumpy, he will still get aggravated because you are continuing to yell “Boo!” That’s how they are. It will aggravate them simply because they don’t understand why you are doing it.

  108. I second the person who mentioned passive aggressiveness. If you are pissed about something, use your big girl words and tell that person; acting like a petulant five-year-old accomplishes nothing. And ladies, looks fade and if all that’s left is an insecure, immature, annoying person you can be sure that your SO’s affections will lie elsewhere.

    • We are not passive aggressive, most of us just do this for our amusement. Why do you losers actually think we married some disgusting doughy guy like yourself? It is because you have money.

      As soon as my loser husband pays off our city house, I will kick him out of the house, take 1/2 his retirement, and make him pay me alimony.

      Then I will finally be able to move in with one of the actually hot guys I have been banging. You men are so stupid. The only reason most of us are with you, is because you buy us stuff.

      So go off to work little doughy loser, I will be having your watches appraised while you are gone. You know that island you are planning on retiring to at 45? It is never going to happen, I am going to take everything you have, and I deserve it, for having to sleep with your gross ass.

  109. 46. My husband LOVES it when we’re in the car, he’s trying to listen to the radio and I turn it down to talk. When I stop talking he turns it back up. I turn it down and talk some more… :)

  110. Tell him about your favourite daytime soap opera.
    Get the dog snug up beside him when he goes to bed before you and then put peanut butter on his nose.
    Put a wet face cloth on his crotch when he is sleeping then when his undies are wet wake him up.
    Sign him up for online surveys.
    Crazy glue things to his big toe nails when he’s asleep.
    (they are so vulnerable when tired)
    Accidentally mix up the sugar and salt in his favourite cookies.
    Flip hs lip.
    Give him a wedgie when he doesn’t expect it.
    Make the gravy look like nipples on his mashed potatoes when you hve guests.
    Remind him of a task fifteen times before it’s even time to dothe task.
    Tell him your extensive knowledge of something he hates.
    Put things he leves around the house in the driver’s seat in his vehicle.
    Draw obsene pictures in the dust of his car/truck.
    When his favorite sports team is playing, sit down next to him in the opponent’s jersey.
    Invite all your friends over on game night.
    Hide his travel mug.
    Turn the breaker to the garage off.
    Hide the garage door opener.
    Put something sticky on the remote control.
    Pretend to pick your nose, when he notices pretend to eat it. Then go in for a kiss.
    Make him do yoga.
    Bring him to a quilter’s meeting.
    I have a million more.

  111. i saw a comment on this site some time ago about Dr.Orgi, and i also contacted him, he is true spell cast. He help me cast a spell that brought back my lover who left me for another girl for one whole year. i am so happy he is back to me now and we are happy together as lovers. you can contact DR.ORGI TEMPLE if you have any relationship problem on:

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  112. My husband is not only a fan of boxing, but also documentaries about boxing. On his day off he decided to watch a terrible documentary about the Klitschko brothers instead of letting me watch my morning Dr. Phil shows, so I blasted 3 songs that he absolutely hates at the same time while I cleaned the kitchen as loud as I could. I told him that the music motivates me, and that if he wants a clean house he needs to deal with it. I also sang all three at the top of my lungs, way off tune, and even tried to harmonize with some sweet back up music.

  113. If you are reading this, trust me this man can help you. i was at the point of no return and giving up all together. my wife left me, my friends abandoned me, i was having problems at work and no matter what i did my wife didn’t want to come back. i went through about 18 spellcasters and was scammed, they didn’t do anything for me. not even the slightest result at all. i went to psychics who told me that she would come back and blah blah blah, i went to “healers” so called, to get my “energy” right so that she could come back, i did anything and everything.
    by the time i met with DRORRIWO, i said if he can’t do this or if he turns me away, then i guess i will have to give up. i was very very skeptical when i came in, because i just felt there was really no hope, but was willing to give it one last shot.
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    he told me my case would take time to fix, that i needed to do alot of cleansings because of the spells i had gotten caste for me, he said that it would be a slow process but that we could get her to at least honestly consider getting back with me. i was about to tell him ‘ she has a new man’ when he suddenly said, you know she has a new man with a T name.” and that was correct tooo.
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    to make a long story short, that was almost 10 months ago when i had that first reading. since then i have completed most of the process and during that process, at first i started to feel better, then as time went on, my life started going back on track. things started to go my way again. then after about my third step in the process, my wife called me sobbing. she had broken up with the other man. little by little, with hectors help, we got closer and closer. we were able to rebuild our friendship, a little step at a time.

    now we are dating again. we are taking it slow this time. not everything is great all the time yet, but overall we are doing very good. we are already talking about me moving back in.

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  114. HELLO I just wanted to say thank you so much for doing this for me and many others. At the beginning of the break up I felt like I would never love again and that my life has ended. Thanks to all your advice, I now have the courage to face every new day. My heart has healed tremendously and I feel like I can now really move on. If it wasn’t for your words then I would probably still be in that dark place of my life. Thank you, thank you!”drlawrencespelltemple@hotmail. com

  115. I start a new TV show with my husband on Netflix to get him hooked, and then I watch all the other episodes without him while he is at work. When he comes home and wants to watch it, I tell him I don’t want to because I’ve seen them all, and make him watch something else.

    Or, I just put my cold feet and fingers on him. And when he tries to do the same to me I whine and make him feel bad for doing it.

  116. I am Jessica Make, I promise to share this testimony all over the world once my boyfriend return back to me, and today with all due respect i want to thank Dr.koko for bringing joy and happiness to my relationship and my family. I want to inform you all that there is a spell caster that is real and genuine. I never believed in any of these things until i loosed my boyfriend, I required help until i found ([email protected] ) a grate spell caster, And he cast a love spell for me, and he assured me that I will get my boyfriend back in one day after the spell has been cast. 1 day later, my phone rang, and so shockingly, it was my boyfriend who has not called me for past 3 years now, and made an apology for the heart break, and told me that he is ready to be my back bone till the rest of his life with me. Dr.koko released him up to know how much i loved and wanted him. And opened his eyes to picture how much we have share together. As I’m writing this testimony right now I’m the most happiest girl on earth and me and my fiance is living a happy life and our love is now stronger than how it were even before our break up. So that’s why I promised to share my testimony all over the universe.All thanks goes to dr.kokotemple for the excessive work that he has done for me. Below is the email address in situation you are undergoing a heart break, and I assure you that as he has done mine for me, he will definitely help you too. email him on; [email protected] I love you farther so must. To make me happy again.

  117. Wake him each and every time he snores, so many many times each night
    Talk to him at night
    Delete all 50 of his alarms that aren’t set on his cell
    Ask him to clean the dirty kitchen
    K him to sweep and mop
    Sk him to switch a load of laundry
    Ask him if he gave the baby his breathing treatment
    Ask him to keep an on out so that school work actually gets done
    Tell him to call his mother
    Ask him to cook
    Ask him to read with the kids
    Ask him to write down his work schedule
    Ask him to leave the car for the rest of the family to use
    Ask him to drive back home to get my wallet I forgot (did that today)
    Ask him to look at this the kids while they read their poetry
    Suggest he wash the dishes differently after you already asked him to clean the kitchen with you
    Ask him for suggestions
    Ask him if he did the thing that he said he would last week
    Ask him to eat over a plate or bowl and sitting
    Ask him to chew with his mouth closed
    Ask him to take off work for the big holiday
    Ask him to walk around anywhere with you
    When he yells at the video game suggest he does something else
    Ask him to take care of the kids while you are home
    Offer a tissue when he sniffs insesently
    Read in bed
    Burst in on him while he is in the shower and poke him or make a Daffy Duck type laugh and dart out again
    Put things in his shoes like toys or a rock
    Put ice down his back
    Pour water on him
    Ickle him
    Sing LOUDLY
    Fold his clothes “the wrong way”
    Put off doing laundry
    Point out his gey hairs
    Tell him its useless to yell at inanimate objects
    Insist on being the one that drives

    • So basically having any interaction w him at all, expecting him to participate in anything, or expecting him to be a responsible/helpful partner. Yeah, same here.

  118. I annoy my husband by saying I need help around the house, even more so when I’m sick, and I yell at him when he says “well, I worked yesterday.”

    on a side note, I’d love to have a husband that does laundry and takes us to the zoo.

  119. I realize now I do a lot of these things unintentionally and wonder why my husband gets so mad at me for doing them. ie. Putting his things away where he can’t find them, give him driving directions, get kids and animals all crazy, constantly running around cleaning, asking him to do ANYTHING at all, asking him to do something AGAIN cause he hasn’t done it etc. I must be naturally an annoying person. Or is it HE’S the annoying one for leaving his things out so I have to put them away, making me run all around cleaning cause he won’t clean, thinking the kids and animals will provide a serene living environment all the time, him driving the wrong way when he should know where he’s going…and then yelling at you for not telling him sooner he went the wrong way, etc. It’s a two way street. I would never do something intentionally that I know REALLY annoys him. It’s not my goal to make him miserable.

    • Oh…and he ALWAYS leaves crumbs on the damn counter. That’s just annoying! And if he was doing that on purpose to pss me off…then I would be offended. It’s not funny…it’s mean. That aside…doing things like sticking your finger in his mouth when he yawns, etc is good healthy fun stuff.

  120. I did at one time consider getting married to be very important, but why would I want to commit all my time, and energy for the rest of my life to someone that only pretends respect?

  121. Quietly crawl into bathroom when hes in shower. Reach in and turn off the hot water…result whose running water.stop running water…STOP RUNNING WATER….bahaha laugh until I almost peed

  122. My husband spends a lot of money on pot and smokes it around my clothes. I take parts of it and flush it down the toilet.