I try to invite people over every couple of weeks – mainly because it forces me to clean my house. But lately, even the promise of company coming hasn’t done much to motivate me in the cleaning department.
Luckily, I have a strategy that gets my house and me ready for company in 20 minutes or less!
20 min: Get dressed. Don’t worry about stains – we’ll cover that later.
17 min: Close every single door in your house that you can. This will keep your company out of your bedrooms and hopefully your den or office – and your basement.
15 min: Light a scented candle.
14 min: Give your kids a trash bag, and send them on a scavenger hunt for dirty diapers.
13 min: Stick a plunger in your guest bathroom toilet. Hang a sign on the door that says “Out of Order.”
10 min: Grab an empty laundry basket, and put all of your dirty dishes and countertop clutter in it. Put the laundry basket in your minivan.
7 min: Tape a DONATE sign to a large box. Toss a few toys into it, and leave it in the middle of your toy room (aka your family room).
4 min: Plug in your vacuum, and leave it sitting out near the front door.
3 min: Take a bite of broccoli. Chew it up and spit it out (trust me on this one).
2 min: Use baby wipes to wash your armpits and your face (not in that order).
1 min: Spray Pledge near the front door (read the comments here to avoid any dangerous accidents with this one)
30 seconds: Get yourself a cup of coffee or dark soda. Don’t drink it.
They Arrive
Opening the Door: As you’re opening the door, “spill” the cup of coffee all over your shirt. That solves any potential stain problems you might have going on.
Make a big deal of spilling coffee all over your “clean” shirt.
Welcome your guests into your home by saying the following:
Come on in! Welcome, Welcome!
Don’t mind the cleaning stuff – it’s my day of the week to do some deep cleaning.
What’s that? I have broccoli in my teeth? Oh gosh – so embarrassing -I’ve been on such a veggie kick lately. I just can’t stop eating my veggies!!
Come on back – the kids are in the toy room picking out toys to give to needy children. They do this at least once a month – so sweet.
Like I said – ready for company in 20 minutes or less!
What would you add to this list?
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Oh man, you did it again. Seriously, I am not sure how, but this was perfect. All I would add, it make sure to add a huge goofy grin as you are saying all this, lol!!
Janine Huldie recently posted..Sisters: War and Peace…
Hahahaha I love it! You sure do have a knack for bringing out the lighter side of parenting. Thanks for the good read this morning!
Top notch! (Oh, how English of me!) Brilliant as usual! Another “how to” chapter for the book!
I so do the closed door and the lighting of the candle! Love the other ideas too!
Ha! Then I’d be riding around with that laundry basket of dishes for weeks!
Robin Jingjit recently posted..Cool food
This is great!! I Also invite people or my mom over so I will have to clean things up. It’s so bad that most times when I clean my kids will ask, who’s coming over?
It’s so true, every time people come over my kids out me anyway, “she just put like everything that’s usually on the floor in the closet.” thanks, kids.
Anna recently posted..Future Blogger
Fantastic ideas! I especially like the plunger in the toilet. My only question is, “Who the heck has an empty laundry basket lying around?”
christine recently posted..Monday Listicles – My Forgotten Dreams
I am HOWLING!! I wondered how the broccoli was going to fit in—PERFECT!! This is fantastic!!!
The Dose of Reality recently posted..The Fastest Way To Get Laughed Out Of The Emergency Room
Oh my. This made me laugh so hard it brought tears to my eyes. I LOVE THIS!!!
I love that you advise to spit the broccoli out after chewing. lol!
I recently read a post where someone suggested spraying pledge near the doorway. This way when someone comes into your home they will immediately think you have been cleaning.
Great tips! Hahaha
Miranda Grimm recently posted..DIY Super Bowl Foam Finger!
Ha Ha! Hubby and I went to visit some relatives about 7 hours away so we left really early in the morning (so that the kids would sleep most of the way) and got there about 10am. As we walked up the path I heard my 8 year old cousin call out… “Mum, Dad, they’re here. Can I stop cleaning now?”
Your blog always makes me laugh over my morning cuppa (and sometimes snort some out of my nose). Thanks.
This is so perfect! I was planning to spend my week cleaning in preparation for company coming on Friday but I guess I won’t have to now
Kerri @ Elbows Deep in Someone Elses’s Sh*t recently posted..Listen to my WORDS!!!!
Omg… Are you a fly on the wall? I have done 6 of these things in desperation for last minutes company! Hahahaha!
You, my dear girl, are a genius. I never thought of the broccoli tip. Could you explain the baby wipe thing though?
hillary recently posted..20 {off the hook!} Mommy Son Dates
Ok, I’ve done, or thought of doing most of those things, but putting the laundry basket of dirty dishes in the van is GENIUS. I’d probably just put it in one of those closed off rooms and then someone would find it.
And I see you’re a fan of Nashville. I just watched the pilot the other day and I might be hooked!
sparkling74 recently posted..Mediterranean Chicken My Way
I’ve started saying ” take it as a compliment that I didn’t clean to pretend to have a clean house when you come over”. As if they are now good enough friends to see the real me.
Love it! Your blog always brightens my day! I keep the doors open, but shove everything into baskets and place in the closet or under the bed! I like people to think I have nothing to hide! Lol… But I ALWAYS have a pile in front of my basement door (we only use it for storage because I have a 95 yr old house.) I always say ‘you just caught me in purge mode!’ And I save the coffee for my kitchen floor. That way no one notices the presents 4 kids accumulate under the kitchen table… They have to move to the room with the strategically placed vacuum! PS- now that my kids are older, can actually run the vacuum and use a chlorox wipe on the bathroom sink… And still be ready in under 20 minutes!