Last week, I called my mom to talk to her about her latest blog post, and my dad answered the phone.
We chatted a bit, and then he said, “Well, I’m going to pass you on to mom. I need to get back to writing my blog posts for when I take over your blog next week.”
That was pretty funny for my dad.
He’s more of the silent type – which fits pretty well with my mom’s personality.
While I’m not turning the blog over to him this week, I would like to share a little story about him.
When I was growing up, my dad had gas.
My mom still tells the story of me running errands with my dad and coming into the house sobbing.
My Mom: Anna, what’s wrong?
Me: SOB, It’s my doll. We have to throw her away. SOB
My Mom: But why? What happened?
Me: She just smells so bad!
At which point my mom looked up to see my dad laughing so hard he had tears streaming down his face.
Apparently the horror of being buckled into a car with the windows rolled up while my gassy dad farted his way around town was scarring enough for me to have completely blocked out the memory of that entire incident.
But I’ll never forget our nightly ritual.
Each night, my brother and I would go to bed, and dad would come upstairs to tuck us in.
He would read us books, tell us we were special – and fart.
They were silent, but oh, so deadly.
We’d scream and cry and try to hide under the covers, and my dad would laugh and fart and laugh and fart and laugh and fart.
The more we cried, the more he laughed.
And the more he laughed, the more he’d fart.
Inevitably, we would have to call for my mom to Bring the Powder.
She’d run upstairs and shoo my dad out of our rooms. And then proceed to sprinkle baby powder around until everyone could breathe again.
Luckily, my dad doesn’t smell anymore. But I always keep a can of baby powder handy during his visits – just in case!
Well – it’s official – my mom won the internet this week.
After all of her grumbling of me not living up to her blogging expectations, I surprised her by giving her my blog for a week. I announced this change via a public blog post, and one of my greatest regrets in life is that I didn’t record our morning conversation.
I had the rare pleasure of getting to listen in on the phone while she read the blog post.
And when she got to the end – and saw that she was going to be taking over for the week – I’ve never heard so much screeching and sputtering and oh my goshing in my life.
It was a moment that I will probably never forget – and I still can’t believe I didn’t have the foresight to record it. Oh well – maybe next time.
She kicked the week off with a bang by writing a blog post that pretty much solidifies her favortism of my brother. More than 12,000 people stopped by to read her first post, and she did not disappoint.
I think my favorite part was when she got a little snippy with someone in the comments – because it said “ANNA” and she assumed that was me – rather than the Anna that had actually left the comment. That really made my day.
Along with giving her my blog, I also gave her admin rights to my Facebook page and told her to post whatever she wanted.
On a related note, I lost hours of my life trying to teach her how to post a link from my blog onto Facebook.
She took advantage of my page to post a terrible picture of my infamous high school haircut – and to try to get everyone to share their favorite garage sale / thrifting locations with her.
On Tuesday, she shared 10 ways to tell if you’re a garage sale addict. And I just have to say that #2 is 100% true.
The sheer volume of her “treasures” terrifies me – and while it’d be nice for her to be healthy enough to hang out with me for the next 50 years – there is definitely part of me that really just wants her to get rid of everything before she passes.
She had her first heckler in the comments of that post (which kindof means she’s “made it” as a blogger), and she even received a comment from someone that sort of met her once. (Just read the comments to see what I mean – but very cool.)
And on Wednesday, she shared a zillion hilarious stories from her working days – and it appears that every single person that ever worked with her for those 30 years stopped by to read it.
And on Thursday, I don’t know what she did, but she managed to completely break my blog – leaving it down for about 4 hours right around lunchtime.
Between the comments, an eavesdropper, a heckler, and breaking the blog – I’d say my mom experienced it all.
All in all – she had right around 42,000 people check in to see what she wrote. And she had over 1300 shares on Facebook. In her first three days as a blogger, she pretty much killed it. Oh yeah – and we gained over 600 new followers on Facebook this week – and nearly that same amount on Pinterest.
And – she even remembered to thank her readers (which is SO important). She tried to post this on Thursday (when she broke my blog), so I’ll post it here for you now:
Well, my obligation has been fulfilled. My punishment is over. Anna might even let me see the grandkids again.
Writing a blog is a fun, nerve-wracking experience and although it’s much harder than I gave Anna credit for, I enjoyed it very much – thanks to a very kind, supportive audience.
I’m turning the reins back over to Anna now but she has asked me to guest post now and then so to my close friends – be afraid – be so afraid!
I’m also asking her to change the password on her FB page – that is way too tempting!!
Next time I’ll have more pictures and dirt on Anna – after all, that’s what people are really after. My version of the truth!
Thanks for a fun three days. Now to concentrate on my houseguest. (Her brother Nick – the Dr. – is here for a visit, in case you missed it.)
- Anna’s Mom
When I asked her how she found the inspiration to become a writer and blogger, do you know what she said?
Silk Vanilla Almondmilk helped me focus – and become a writer.
Silk Vanilla Almondmilk made me feel more creative and helped me find my funny.
Silk Vanilla Almondmilk helped me win the internet.
Did you really think I was going to let her get out of her week of blogging without a sponsored post? Not a chance.
It’s no secret that I’m a huge lover of Silk products (you may recall me writing about them here and here.) Ever since I went dairy and gluten free, I’ve been loving the Silk products – especially Silk Unsweetened Coconutmilk!
So now, my mom has officially done it all.
She drove lots of great traffic. Figured out how to use Facebook. Broke my blog. Dealt with hecklers. And now she’s been part of a sponsored post.
I think maybe she should try her hand at a viral video next…
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What was your favorite part about my mom’s internet domination?
This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of Silk. The opinions and text are all mine.
I mentioned yesterday that I was a school counselor for over 30 years. What I didn’t tell you was that the majority of those years were spent working with elementary kids.
Being the elementary school counselor in a public school system can be both rewarding and depressing for a variety of reasons. At the very least it’s exhausting.
But I quickly decided that the best situation was to laugh with my co-workers whenever possible. Some of our laughs were intentionally planned and others were totally spontaneous.
My philosophy was this – if you can’t find something to laugh at or someone to laugh with in an elementary building then you are in the wrong field!
It worked for me and for most of our staff.
And, today, I’ve decided to borrow Anna’s blog to share some of our laughs with you.
I found a big box of foam rubber clown noses at one of my estate sale hunts. I bought them all just in case. During one staff meeting we all had them hidden in our laps, and when our Principal turned to write something on the board we quickly put on our noses. He turned around to face a room full of attentive clowns.
Worked like a charm.
It’s possible I ruined this child’s life…
One day I called a student to the office. His name was Jimmy Underwood. I accidently used the PA system and requested that Jimmy Underwear please come to the office.
He was a new student.
In fact, it was his first day.
I’m still a little mortified by this. But luckily he forgave me. Note from Anna: There’s no way this kid forgave you! If anyone knows Jimmy Underwood, can you please find him and report back on how my mom basically ruined his life when he was in 4th grade? Thanks!
I love me some Robert Redford
I was in charge of the morning announcements and every now and then I would call Robert Redford to the Counseling Office.
The older teachers loved it.
The younger teachers didn’t know who he was.
I also have a Robert Redford scrapbook (because every counselor should!) and if a teacher was having a bad day, I would send it down to her to cheer her up. (That one was just for the ladies, didn’t work so well with the male teachers.)
Every now and then, they put me in charge.
When the principal was out of the building I was in charge.
One day there was a small fight on the playground. When I was in the office with the two culprits trying to sort things out, one boy said with both hands in the air:
“I didn’t do anything but play with my monkey.”
It seems he had brought his stuffed monkey to school in his backpack. What were you thinking?
Sometimes it’s best to just walk away
One day I had two boys in my office talking about getting along with others.
I had a bright blue magic marker in my hand for some reason – and since I talk with my hands – it’s no surprise that I got too close to my face and swiped the marker across my mouth and nose making a bright blue line.
I was making an important point at the time, and as I talked I saw both boys’ eyes get really wide.
“I have marker all over my face don’t I?” They both nodded. “Talk amongst yourselves,” I said as I left the room.
The secretary caught me in the hall bathroom trying to wipe the permanent marker off my face. She left in hysterics and came back with friends to watch me.
I never did go back in to those boys.
Sometimes it’s better to just be late
It’s very hard for me to get anywhere on time. And while I hate that about myself – I wasn’t the only one at school that had a tardiness problem.
One day there was a meeting scheduled before school, so two of us decided to meet early and put on our long bathrobes and slippers and walk in as the meeting was starting.
JB and I walked in alright – not knowing that there was a guest speaker making a presentation.
The Principal just looked at us and shook his head.
Again, I was mortified. But the rest of the staff got a good laugh – after the meeting was over.
Hide your keys
One principal could never remember where he left his car keys.
One gorgeous day, one of the staff members (NOT me. For real even I have my limits.) drove his car out by the road and put a For Sale sign on it. He was quite surprised when he started getting calls.
And he was much more careful with his keys after that.
There are years more of course…
Like the time the playground aid found a condom in a 1st grader’s graders purse and sent her to me. Unfortunately I couldn’t find anything in the rule book about not bringing condoms to elementary school.
Or the time I had to call a Dad because his little girl had started her period for the first time and needed clothes. I couldn’t reach the Mom because she had just hit a deer with her car and was waiting for her husband to pick her up.
The Dad started moaning and groaning on the phone and said “It can’t be, it just can’t be… My little girl? Oh my God! Oh my God! I’m more upset about this than my car being totaled by a G D deer!!!”
I loved my job and I miss it some days. But when I start thinking about being able to go to garage sales seven days a week or visiting Nick anytime of the year– then I know I did the right thing when I retired.