There’s Someone Living In My Bathroom

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Alice has an imagination that is even larger than her fashion sense.

Alice's Fashion Sense

She goes to ballet class every. single. day. It doesn’t matter that I’ve never taken her to a dance class or organized anything in her life.

Her dance class is very real to her.

Alice on a Mission

And most of the time, she’s yelling at me because we’re late.

Sometimes her dance class is in her room. Sometimes it’s in the living room. One time it was in the bathroom.

Alice Surprised

There are NO BOYS in her ballet class – but one time there was a girl named Bianca, and she had a penis. (I wish I was making that up.)

In addition to her daily ballet class, Alice also has a make-believe wiper.

Alice and Anna

This is a daily conversation at our house:

Me: Alice, did you go potty?

Alice: Yes, I did.

Me: Who wiped your bottom?

Alice: I pretended that someone wiped my bottom.

Sometimes I leave a dollar bill on the bathroom counter to tip the pretend butt-wiper that lives there.

Some days, I’m not sure what I’d do without her.


  1. Vicki

    May 3, 2012 at 7:39 am

    Anna, Love the story and the photos. It is really too bad you don’t live closer. Dana’s younger daughter, Morgan, has an imaginary friend – a wolf – she assures me that he doesn’t bite and that he is a good friend. She has a huge imagination and probably has an imaginary butt wiper as well. I have a feeling she and Alice would be great friends.


  2. Cherie Fish

    May 3, 2012 at 8:13 am

    Ahh the world of girls. There is much to learn and lots of drama. The pictures are priceless! Too darling!

  3. Patricia

    May 3, 2012 at 8:37 am

    hahaha – Love the pictures and stories. Alice sounds just like my granddaughter. So much fun, if you can stop laughing at the things she says.

  4. Abby

    May 3, 2012 at 8:54 am

    Those pictures? Priceless.
    As for the wiping thing, I’m pretty sure there are some adults around that pretend to do the same thing–or simply forget. Perhaps she’s ahead of her time…but much, much cuter πŸ˜‰

  5. Dana

    May 3, 2012 at 9:35 am

    Oh Anna!! She is just a doll!! What a cutie!!!

  6. Jenniffer

    May 3, 2012 at 10:41 am

    You are so blessed to have such a wonderfully imaginative child and you are wonderful to encourage her by tipping the wiper! My niece didn’t have just one imaginary friend, but a whole group that she called “The kids”. My sister had to make room in the car and at the dinner table for the whole lot of them.

  7. Dawn

    May 3, 2012 at 10:42 am

    Love it. Keep that crazy humor, girl! Both of you, now that I think of it…

  8. Bethany Thies

    May 3, 2012 at 11:08 am

    I love your Alice! I love seeing a free spirit in work with the suppot of a great mommy! Love the pictures and, is there room in Alice’s dance class for me? I promise I won’t wear a tutu…that wouldn’t be pleasant for anyone. πŸ˜‰ Thank Heaven for independent girls!

  9. Danielle

    May 3, 2012 at 12:13 pm

    oh, that is so cute! from a house of all boys, I love this πŸ™‚

  10. Jennifer

    May 3, 2012 at 12:33 pm

    She is so flippin’ cute!

  11. Judie S.

    May 3, 2012 at 12:42 pm

    Warn me when your post is so funny that coffee will shoot out of my nose, will ya!! And I want that purse!!

  12. sue

    May 3, 2012 at 4:30 pm

    we must have a secret butt wiper too, because no one wipes their butt here. I love that Bianca has a penis. That is great. As I was sitting here reading your post, my four year old showed me his weiner because as he says “it’s sticking out.” Please help me Lord. Lol!

  13. Trish

    May 3, 2012 at 7:52 pm

    Ha! I love it. And what great pictures!

  14. Dhyann

    May 3, 2012 at 8:03 pm

    This is what you call love.. As a mom and as a fellow kid (before) she is definitely so cute!

  15. imklvr

    May 3, 2012 at 10:50 pm

    Yeppers, a.dor.a.ble. Like mother, like daughter. I had imaginary friends when I was little! Lolo and Boogie. Now this was in the 50’s so that’s not like boggie to dance. I had to throw Boogie in the fireplace though, ‘cuz he (she? it?) picked it’s nose. Don’t know what happened to Lolo. He probably left. Afraid of fire, you know.

  16. Carol L. Myers

    May 4, 2012 at 4:12 am

    They look really great! Thanks for sharing this beautiful photo…

  17. Jenn

    May 4, 2012 at 9:49 am

    Haha!!! This is fantastic! Now I know what I have to look forward to! I love her “dance costume”…my daughter has the same bathing suit…it’s so perfect with its little tutu!
    My little gal fancies herself a princess. In fact, that’s how we convinced her to get her hair cut the very first time…we told her she was getting in “princess haircut,” and she hopped right up into the chair. She’s a total diva. I’m wondering how that happened, considering I was a tomboy growing up! But have to admit that I’m loving indulging all her “girly” fancies. So much fun.
    Have a great weekend! Oh, and I have a blog hop going on through the weekend…stop by and link up if you get the chance! I always enjoy linking up at Finding the Funny! Take care!
    Smiles, Jenn @Misadventures in Motherhood

  18. Jusa

    May 4, 2012 at 1:05 pm

    You’re going to make it all the way through her childhood without going insane, I can tell. The ability to laugh at life is a great gift. Wonderful stories. But, I do hope you plan to go into a witness protection program before she hits her teen years. But, thanks for sharing anyway. I got scolded too much when I was little for just being me. It takes its toll.

  19. Debra Kapellakis

    May 5, 2012 at 11:29 am

    Joy, oh pure joy!

  20. jassica

    May 5, 2012 at 10:22 pm

    I adore these photos!!!

  21. sparkling74

    May 6, 2012 at 8:55 am

    Does she go to ballet in those boots? Because then she’d be one heck of a dancer! I think a lot of my students “pretend” wipe their butts, based on the way the smell.

  22. JD @ Honest Mom

    May 6, 2012 at 9:16 am

    What is up with little kids pretending to wipe? My eldest daughter is the opposite – she is paranoid about being clean – but my youngest never wants to wipe. And now that she’s discovered the joys of lying – well, I have to use my nose to tell!

  23. Pish Posh

    May 7, 2012 at 1:46 am

    Omg she’s so cute it’s ridiculous!!

  24. Vivian

    May 7, 2012 at 9:51 pm

    so adorable! πŸ™‚

  25. Kat

    May 9, 2012 at 8:27 am

    She is just adorable! What a great way to capture the real moments in life πŸ™‚

  26. Kathleen Basi

    May 9, 2012 at 8:47 am

    Sometimes I think we ought to make a Twitter hashtag for what we never thought we would say, or never thought we would hear! πŸ™‚

  27. Stacy Uncorked

    May 9, 2012 at 9:43 am

    She is ADORABLE!! And I’m giggling over the pretend wiper… πŸ˜‰

  28. Jennifer Worrell

    May 16, 2012 at 7:30 am

    What an adorable girl! LOVE your pics of her!

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