The Secret to a Happy Marriage
Every now and then I hear from a reader, and I MUST share their story. Either they’re so funny that I can’t breathe – or they mention something really sticks with me. And “CAB” (as she’d like to be called) did both when she sent me this.
How could I resist sharing it with you?
The Secret to Being Happily Married
We have been married for twenty years!
That’s right, TWENTY!
I can’t believe it.
It’s really quite amazing when you think about it. You see, I come from a long line of people who love to get married. My great grandma was married at least twice. My grandma was married at least six times (that I know of). My mom was married three times. My dad has been married five times. And both of my step dads have been married three times.
Getting married is fun! Right?
Well… I certainly was raised to believe that. But my husband is Catholic and Polish. And you marry for life.
That’s it. ONE TIME!
I knew this going into it, but I seriously had to get myself mentally prepared for a different lifestyle.
And since you know that we’ve been married for 20 years this month, then you know that I ultimately decided to bite the bullet and commit to only wear the white dress once.
I had to grieve a little knowing that I would not get to enjoy all the festivities of my ancestors and their multiple diamond rings and cake cutting.
But I think the joy that comes from spending your life with one person outweighs all that extra wedding cake. (But I do love wedding cake!)
I like to think that I can take all of the credit for our 20-year marriage – but as you’ll see from the list below, my husband deserves quite a bit of it. It’s possible that I’m not the easiest person to live with… In fact, he’s had to learn a lot in our 20 years of marital bliss.
He’s had to learn important things, like…
Learning two new languages called REPETITION and YELL-LOUDER. Yes – I have a slight hearing loss and get really tired of having something stuck in my ear ALL DAY LONG so I sometimes like to go commando with my hearing aid… He loves this.
Learning acceptance – Just because he’s 6’3 and 250 pounds DOES NOT mean that he has the louder farts. Am I proud of this talent of mine? Maybe a little.
Learning a new profession. Becoming a professional ‘cupboard-door-closer’ is a great activity. My husband loves to do it. There might be some sarcasm there…
Learning to embrace his bad eyesight. At least with his bad eyes, he has no idea that the shower has been pretty filmy for 80% of our marriage.
Learning to be a Master-Story-Teller. This wasn’t all that hard for him to learn. You see, I tend to forget things so each time he tells a college fraternity tale or a high school football statistic, it’s extra fun. I get just as excited as the first five times I heard it. I think this is one of my best qualities.
Learning to cook. He didn’t get to own his dream restaurant, but he DOES get to be a chef. It’s like my little gift to him.
Marriage isn’t easy. And I have a list of complaints as long as anyone else’s. His backrubs leave much to be desired. He doesn’t like cucumbers, he wants to do it all the time, and he’s moody (these three are not related.) And he leaves folded laundry on the living room chair all week long.
But THESE are the things that I love about my husband. THESE are the reasons we’ve been married for 20 years. THESE are the secrets to our marital bliss…
Yesterday, he made me laugh harder than I have ever laughed in my life.
He chases me around and grabs my butt and growls (and I secretly LOVE it!)
He encourages me to be the best at everything I want to be- a mom, a professional, and a friend.
He has shown ME how to share my feelings. He makes ME talk and HE listens like I am the most important person in the world.
He ALWAYS buys me cards for every occasion and if he doesn’t like what they say he crosses out the words and writes his own.
He does his laundry. (Even if he does leave it folded in the living room chair all week long.)
He is a wonderful DAD. He texts, calls, talks, plays, teases and guides our daughter.
He is a great sleeper – doesn’t move, snore, kick or sweat.
He acts like he doesn’t think I am beautiful because he is trying to balance me- but I KNOW what he really thinks.
He doesn’t complain when I eat all the ice cream or sleep in the afternoon.
He really cares about people and who they are and what their stories are.
He has chosen to share himself, his feelings, and his life with ME!
Another white dress? No thanks, I’m good.
What do you love about your husband?