My Mom (Still) Loves My Brother More Than Me

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When we bought our house three years ago, Miles was 2, Alice was 1, and I immediately became pregnant with Simon.

The house that we bought had been vacant for two years. Prior to that, a woman had smoked in it for 20 years.

There was wallpaper everywhere. In the kitchen, in the dining room, in the bedrooms, in the bathrooms – and even on a few ceilings.

Wallpaper in Kitchen

We saw this total wreck of a house, and decided that it just had to be ours.

Shortly after moving in, I quite my job to become a stay-at-home mom. So there I was with a 1-year-old, a 2-year-old and wildly pregnant – spending all of my naptimes peeling wallpaper and painting rooms – trying to get our house in order before the baby was born.

Was my mom there to help?

Did she move in with me for a month or two to help with the kids or with the house?


No, she did not.

I tell you this because as I write this post, my mom is in Florida living with my brother and his family.

And if you read her comment on yesterday’s post – then you know that she’s in Florida to help them paint.

Fullscreen capture 11142013 95613 AM

My brother and his wife just purchased a house that needs to be painted from top to bottom. The floors need to be replaced. It needs a good scrubbing – not unlike the state of our house when we bought it.

While we had to move into our house immediately – and paint/peel wallpaper/replace carpeting around our furniture and our children – my brother has the luxury of waiting an entire month before they need to move in.

So what did my mom do for her favorite child?

Well – she’s been there for more than three weeks now. She’s learning to paint. She’s preparing meals. She’s running pick up and drop off for the kids. She’s picking up supplies. She’s doing their laundry. So that my brother and his wife can spend every minute they’re not at work at the new house getting it ready for move-in day.

Am I complaining? No.

Am I whining? A little.

Do I need to remind my mother that I was pregnant with two toddlers running around and trying to do all of this? YES.

Does my mom clearly love my brother more than me? Yes.

Am I jealous? You betcha! My mom can scrub a toilet like no other – I could really use her help up here.

Does my mom owe me? I think so…


  1. Amy - Funny is Family

    November 15, 2013 at 6:27 am

    My mom loves my brother more than she loves me, too. I’ll bet your mom would come help you if you lived in Florida and it was November. She’s probably soaking up the sun and not painting a thing, which is why she needs you to come down with your paint brush. (Psst, Anna’s mom: I’m just saying all that to make Anna feel better. I know it’s not true.)

  2. thedoseofreality

    November 15, 2013 at 7:23 am

    Oh man, she makes it so obvious, too. Anna’s mom, you have to hide you favoritism a little better than that! πŸ˜‰

  3. Sarah

    November 15, 2013 at 7:40 am

    My brother has always been the favorite child, too – but I can’t remember my mother ever being so blatant about it!

  4. Carrie

    November 15, 2013 at 9:52 am

    Yea, but you don’t live in Florida! Florida is much more of a draw than Ohio :/
    (However I think 3+ weeks is a bit excessive! Aren’t they helping at all?!) πŸ™‚ I still love you and your mom though!!!

  5. My Special Kind of Crazy

    November 15, 2013 at 3:06 pm

    Oh, brother’s. They are always mom’s favorite! I finally got up to favorite status this year (I am 43!) when my brother forgot Mother’s Day. Said the card was “in the mail” but it never arrived. Then I took my mom and 9 of her best friends to lunch at a restaurant at their “chef’s table” and I then pretty much solidified my status. Feed her Anna, just feed her (and not to the sharks!).

  6. J

    November 15, 2013 at 3:26 pm

    Well I think I know what this is all about!
    I have brothers and a sister.
    Moms and daughters can go get a mocha and go out to lunch together. Mom’s can go baby shopping and hold little babies and help momma get a break.
    But when it comes to sons they feel there is no connection. So guys have problems cleaning house and doing decorating stuff so this is the only time they feel they can help them. They feel closer to their daughters, but daughters don’t feel it. They think we know that.
    Boys can go to school as kids without combing their hair. Girls? Not the same. So I think, they think the boys are retarded. There I said it.

  7. Vicky

    November 15, 2013 at 3:45 pm

    When I moved into my new place my mom decided that she needed to come help me finish unpacking and decorating (so it was easier on me) but I didn’t ask for help.

    My mom lives 900 miles away and had a house full or people, who are we kidding, besides wanting to help, she really wanted a vacation where she could have peace and quiet. She spent a week and it took us a morning to “finish unpacking and decorating”. I had it under control πŸ™‚

  8. Lisa R. Petty

    November 15, 2013 at 3:56 pm

    My mom definitely likes me better than my brother, but she wouldn’t paint anyone’s house. Nope. Not happening.

  9. Kellie

    November 15, 2013 at 4:47 pm

    It’s always good to know your place in life. My mom once told me I was her rose between two thorns…I was teased by my siblings forever. I am ok with it though…my mom painted two bedrooms in my house and helps with housework whenever she comes over despite me telling her to relax. I loves being the favorite.

  10. Kristin @ OneOrganicMama

    November 15, 2013 at 4:49 pm

    it’s rough to be second best πŸ™‚

  11. Marie

    November 15, 2013 at 6:58 pm

    I need to hear what Anna’s Mom has to say about all of this. πŸ™‚

  12. Kathryn

    November 15, 2013 at 7:06 pm

    Coming from a family where I was my dad’s favorite, I have sympathy for your brother. Oh man, it’s hard being the favorite. You are constantly trying to let it seem like you have no clue that you are the favorite and then you feel like you have to push a little attention onto some other sibling to make them feel special; all that dodging of the jealous looks and snarky comments. It’s tiring work.
    Just put yourself in his shoes. How would you feel if you were the favorite and had to hide it? Sure the extra $20’s are nice once in a while, smiles and slaps on the back are appreciated but it’s hard. It’s hard. Okay, maybe it’s not hard. haha
    At least you’re the second favorite right??!!

  13. Mom

    November 15, 2013 at 7:44 pm

    Well – where do I begin? I could start by saying that I was WORKING full-time when you moved into your house…and now I am RETIRED! Retired people go to FLorida….your brother lives in Florida…. Oh, and your house didn’t smell like nicotine….(except maybe that one room where there were stains on the wall paper and stuff) Your brother’s house has nicotine and cigar stains running down the walls…and that’s not an exaggeration!
    I hate to paint. I’m not good at it. My shoulder hurts and so does my butt. But now it’s primed and we get to start on colors…..hopefully we can meet our deadline and they can move in and make it nice so you can come and enjoy the warm weather at Christmas.
    And you know you couldn’t stand me to live with you for a month – I would drive you crazy…..and Even Steven wouldn’t be so even….I can’t keep my mouth shut….4 days is my limit πŸ™‚
    But I do love you – you are my favorite daughter and the mother of my favorite granddaughter…..what’s not to love?

  14. Gwen Klingensmith

    November 15, 2013 at 10:33 pm

    Are you Anna or Julie talking:)?

  15. Lisa Whan

    November 15, 2013 at 10:46 pm

    My Mom calls me her favourite daughter too. I hate it when she says that. Although I’m convinced my Mom loves my brother more than me as well.

  16. Jen

    November 15, 2013 at 10:52 pm

    I think your mom realized that Florida probably had nicer weather and…let’s be honest…painting is a heck of a lot easier than removing wallpaper.

    I think your mom picked the funner (is that a word?) option. Just a guess.

  17. Ehrin

    November 15, 2013 at 11:02 pm

    Your mom just knew you could handle it. You’re Superwoman! Boys always need more help. It’s a given. Like J said, they’re a little on the slow side. πŸ˜‰

  18. Liz from

    November 15, 2013 at 11:15 pm

    I feel like I’ve looked at this post 5 times and every time it makes me laugh.

  19. Jim Martemucci

    November 16, 2013 at 7:31 am

    Of course your mom loves your brother and FIRST BORN! I am one of those and my mom always loves me the most. But take a moment and think of the requirements. You have to act like she is the best at all times or you disapoint her. You have to always be successful. You have to never make mistakes cause she taught you everything the right way. You have to be the first for her in everything. “A lot of pressure – for sure.” And then the second child shows up and he has paved the way for her. It is not all what it is cracked up to be.

  20. Kristy Strop

    November 16, 2013 at 8:14 am

    LOL* Sounds like an episode of everybody loves Raymond πŸ˜‰

  21. Carisa

    November 16, 2013 at 10:46 am

    I loved just reading my sister Kathryn’s comment here that she is my dads favorite. Nice. Very nice. I’m the one who was the goody two shoes growing up and she was a freak show (or maybe I’ll just say emotional) and yet she pulls rank. And yes still does. She lives 1 min from her job teaching and my dad drives 15min+ EVERY morning to pick up her kids and bring them to my mom to be babysat so she can drive her 1 minute to work. Always the favorite. lol. Truly, it makes me happy he does this for her but just drives the point home lol. Sigh.

  22. Stacey Edgar

    November 16, 2013 at 7:08 pm

    Funny! My mom loves my sister more than me. It’s soooo obvious – everyone knows it. But it’s okay, I’ve come to terms with it. Well, not really, but I’m trying. Okay, it drives me insane.

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