My Kids

My Kids Disappoint Me at the Pool

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I pee in the pool.

I pee in the ocean.

I pee in lakes and ponds

And I LOVE peeing in hot tubs.

So why do my kids insist on NOT peeing in water?

It’s one of the greatest parts of summer, yet my kids consistently have me schlepping three wet bodies out of the pool, lugging a stroller, towels, sunscreen and toys to the pool bathrooms because someone has to make the smallest tinkle known to man.

My husband thinks it’s disgusting to pee in pools, and has made it clear to our children that it is unacceptable.

But guess who’s taking the kids to the pool by herself every day this summer?


Any tips on how to convince your kids to pee in the pool – without actually shouting it out AT the pool?

And – while we’re on the subject – do you pee at the pool?

PS – Apparently there are t-shirts for people like me. You can buy yours here.


  1. Patricia

    June 22, 2012 at 7:19 am

    hahahahahahahahahaha – It’s one of those great problems of motherhood. I remember it well. Begging the kids to pee in the ocean – I mean, who’s going to notice? Then we built an inground pool and we went back to telling them NOT to pee in OUR pool. You crack me up.

  2. Stephanie

    June 22, 2012 at 7:48 am

    I don’t really want them to pee in the pool, but you are right. It is sooo annoying to have to take them to the bathroom. My older 2 were in swimming lessons last week and the three-year-old kept making me take her to the potty. 3 or more times during each 45minue lesson. No fun to have to put the 6 month old baby on a towel on the floor of a locker room bathroom and pull off a wet swim suit and swim diaper over and over and over…come to think of it, maybe you’re on to something.

  3. Connie

    June 22, 2012 at 8:46 am

    You are too funny! How many times were you in our hot tub? It’s all starting to make sense now. Is that why your parents removed theirs? Love you Anna Banana 😉

  4. Stephanie

    June 22, 2012 at 8:47 am

    I have to agree with you, So annoying to take off the swimsuit. And I have no idea why my kids are so against peeing in the pool! I am swimming in everyone else’s pee. I’d much prefer to swim in my own kids pee than all the other kids. Last year with my 5 year old was a pain, he pee’d a lot and I was going to the bathroom constantly, this year I haven’t noticed as much. His bladder is either larger or he has decided to start peeing in the pool. I’m fine with either one! Just stop making me take your wet swimsuit off!

  5. meg

    June 22, 2012 at 9:21 am

    well, i was going to have a pool party and invite you and your children…but now, uhhh, maybe we can just do sprinklers in the back yard. 😉

  6. Vanessa Pierson

    June 22, 2012 at 10:38 am

    I have to pee about 50 times when I swim, I am not getting out all those times. Plus it totally warms up that cold water. 🙂

  7. Mom

    June 22, 2012 at 11:22 am

    I did not raise you…..seriously… were adopted at an old age…I just could never tell you. Your first family taught you to pee in pools and hot tubs. Call me.
    Love Mom (not your bio Mom)

  8. Tracy

    June 22, 2012 at 12:10 pm

    haha! Remind me not to go swimming with you! I’ll go swimming with your kids though. Hilarious!

  9. mary

    June 22, 2012 at 7:03 pm

    I pee in the pool too. The chemicals kill everything. Don’t worry folks, remain calm and carry on.

  10. Carolyn Bird

    June 22, 2012 at 8:57 pm

    I was once swimming with friends at a park with the river roped off for swimming…this guy got out of the river and up to the bathhouse to pee! Really, where do you think that bathhouse is putting that pee?!!?! LOL

  11. Beth L

    June 22, 2012 at 10:41 pm

    Hi my name is Beth and I also pee in pools (and hot tubs, lakes, oceans and the shower)

  12. Sparkling74

    June 23, 2012 at 11:09 am

    I do and I’m a little horrified that I am willing to admit this out loud. And every time I do it’s wait for that magic blue dye to come swirling around me.

  13. Pam

    June 23, 2012 at 8:30 pm

    OMG!!!! I can’t believe all these people pee in pools hot tubs etc. I guess I am really old! (and responsible)
    There is nothing to kill the germs in a lake.

  14. Motherhood on the Rocks

    June 24, 2012 at 9:48 pm

    And this is exactly why I refuse to swim anywhere with tons of chlorine and germ killing chemicals. lol

  15. Rachel

    June 25, 2012 at 1:55 pm

    Ummm, eww?

    I’ve never peed in a pool, and I would like to think no one does. I also will teach my kiddos not to pee in the pool. Having worked at various pool in my younger days, do you know how hard it can be to get the pool chemicals exactly right to actually kill everything?

    Urine is sterile, sorta, when it first leaves your body; but it contains metabolic waste and that is where bacteria likes to go crazy–aka grow. Chlorine is used in most pools to kill bacteria (because many are seriously bad for your health, and who hasn’t swallowed water accidentally/purposefully at the pool before?) The chlorine combines with the pee/sweat/etc forming “chloramines”. (Thus giving us the chlorine smell many pools have.) A clean pool, free from nasty pee/etc, will have chlorine in it but won’t smell.

    Here’s something from CNN Health: “Although urine in the water probably will not cause swimmers to go to the emergency room, it causes “more of a respiratory, ocular irritation: the red puffy eyes or a cough, an itchy throat,” said Michele Hlavsa, an epidemiologist in the division of parasitic diseases at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.”A big health message is not to urinate or pee in the water.”

    Basically, it’s NOT healthy and it’s NOT fair to the people around you. However, if you want to pee in your own PRIVATE pool that’s fine by me, just stay out of mine.

  16. Trishia Hanley

    June 26, 2012 at 5:01 am

    This is really a great issue. In fact, I will just told my kids that it is just okay to pee on the pool because some other kids do it also and there is a cleaner that will clean your pee.

  17. Stephanie S.

    June 26, 2012 at 5:12 pm

    Hi my name is Stephanie and I pee in pools. Glad I can finelly be in the club and come out. Why wait when you can just do it. Right???? Thanks for sharing-love it.

  18. Pam

    June 27, 2012 at 6:04 pm

    It is okay to jump off a bridge? Can’t wait until they get to the age of drugs. But mom other kids do it…..Great parenting. NOT

  19. NolaLeBlanc

    June 29, 2012 at 8:19 am

    Yes, agreed! I also have to pee about 50 times when I am in the pool. As I told my husband, who is completely disgusted by it, if I get out everytime I need to pee, I will be spending more time in the bathroom than in the pool. He has forbidden me to teach our kids this nasty habit.

  20. Willa Taley

    July 31, 2012 at 3:38 am

    I like your t-shirt print. I don’t know if I can tell my kids that it is okay to pee on the pool.

  21. amanda

    August 6, 2012 at 11:42 pm

    ewww lmao!

  22. Chewing Taffy

    August 9, 2012 at 6:27 am

    Most of motherhood is hard work, including hauling children to the restroom. Why not just put out newspapers and start urinating on the floor?

    Peeing in the pool introduces bacteria to the pool water that is not healthy. Our neighborhood pool doesn’t usually have that ultra chlorinated smell…which is better for all of us! I like to think it’s because we all take our children to the bathroom! Adult swim for 15 minutes every hour gets all the kids out and to the restroom!

    I took my kids to a more public pool this summer and spent the day…one of my boys got swimmer’s ear, which is a very painful infection caused by bacteria in the pool.

    Peeing in the pool is not a matter of personal preference. It’s a health and safety issue.

    Please come back and tell me this is all a joke and that I’m overreacting!!!

  23. Random guy

    August 14, 2012 at 9:39 am

    actually pee is sterile and does not contain any bacteria if there would be a pool filled with pee it would be completely sterile…..Only the smell is bad. But I wonder why do you like peeing in hot tubs? You like the idea of your pee touching everybody without them knowing? If so you and I are from the same mind

  24. Pingback: 10 Reasons Why I Will NOT Homeschool My Kids

  25. Vanessa

    October 9, 2012 at 12:18 am

    What I learned from the cnn article- Michael Phelps pees in the pool. Pee in the pool- win gold medals. I think I will teach my kids to do the same.
    (Yes, I do realize this is horrible logic. But mostly I am of the parenting camp that says kids who are exposed to regular germs develop healthier immune systems.) And luckily I have never actually seen the mysterious blue die that I also used to be afraid of.

  26. Sarah

    January 4, 2013 at 10:57 am

    We went on a beach vacation this summer with my newly potty trained 3 year old and my 8 month old. I begged my son to just pee in the ocean – each trip to the bathroom was up the beach, across the street, and through the lobby of a hotel we weren’t staying in… And he claimed he had to go approximately every 20 minutes.

    He REFUSED to pee in the ocean, and *cried* the one time I spent extra time trying to coax him to, and he had to end up going in the sand. He was SO upset with me – pee pee is ONLY for the potty. I guess he’ll never be a Boy Scout!

  27. Sammi

    January 30, 2013 at 4:45 pm

    Inquiring minds would like to know why peeing in the hot tub ranks a LOVE in capitol letters…. hehe

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