Mr. Even Steven

Last week I revealed that Even Steven’s name is not really Even Steven. (You can read his real name here.)

Several of you asked why I refer to him as Even Steven, and it’s mainly because he’s super “even.”

Seriously.

If he loses a $20 bill on the sidewalk, a day later he’ll find a $20 bill in his pocket. That’s just how his life works.

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I often find myself calling him Even Steven in real life – which really confuses the kids and the dog.

And several times we’ve been at a party and someone will say to him,

“Oh my gosh – I totally know you! Where do I know you from?”

And then he’ll rattle off where he went to college, where he went to high school, where we used to live, where he works and used to work.

And then the person will say, “OH MY GOSH! You’re Even Steven!!!”

And then his face gets really red, and I laugh and laugh and laugh.

He’s terrified of sharks.

He loves the weather.

He’s been there for the birth of all three of our children, and he never did get it quite right.

My mom likes to make fun of him just as much as I do. Maybe even more.

He looks amazing in his spandex.

When Even Steven is feeling the happiest he’s ever been in his entire life, he looks like this:

When he’s the saddest he’s ever been in his entire life, he looks like this:

Every now and then he looks like this:

Even Steven's Favorite Color

Or like this:

Even Steven Gazelle

He has finally accepted keeping our butter on the counter.

But he still makes me cut his toenails.

He tore his labia last year – it was really painful for him.

He pretty much invented texting.

And I’ve been known to lock him in the basement – and then leave the house.

When he’s around his kids, he looks like this:

Happy Even Steven

But mostly he just looks like this:

Last year, I let him write his own blog post. It was enlightening, to say the least…

So – there you have it – everything you could ever want to know about Even Steven.

Isn’t he dreamy?

9 thoughts on “Mr. Even Steven

  1. It can be a good thing to have a husband who always wears the same expression. I know I’ve never enjoyed the extremes – like astonishment at my ditziness, or shock when my house is actually cleaned.

    It’s also good that he’s accepted the butter on the counter. Hard butter isn’t nice.

  2. I started reading this and I thought of Jerry from that episode of Seinfeld where everything always evened out from him and was like Omg she is married to Seinfeld, lol!! Seriously, love you posts about your husband and can so feel the love shine through!! 🙂

  3. Yes, I suppose a lot of us are in love with Even…from a distance of course. Personally, I love him like a grandson. Or son. Whatever. He didn’t pursue you to write a book, so, that’s a point I’ll have to deal with. But yeah, we love him. And YOU, Anna! Thanks for all the chuckles you bring! (Though you COULD be bringing home cold hard cash for those chuckles. If you wrote a book. Whatever.)

    (hehehe)

  4. So I’ve been following you for a couple months but never put two and two together. I graduated from Miami also and when I saw Even Steven say something about Bagel and Deli in his post, I actually yelled OMG! Which lead to strange looks from my coworkers. But I’m used to those!
    I also grabbed my Even Steven (Eric) at Miami and will have celebrated 10 years of being a Miami Merger in July. I may just have to get some Bagel and Deli, a toasted roll, and a walk down slant walk as his present.

  5. You must be the most adorable wife on planet earth. Everytime you talk about your husband, it’s like the boy you have a crush on. And even when you joke about him, it’s only completely silly things like putting that head on different pictures, but you never ever put him down in this public forum and that would be a bad habit that would be easy to slip in to.

    Oftentimes I read this blog and I feel like we are the same person!! It’s so weird. But then all your antics you employed to snag your man set me straight. If I were to do it all over I would be much more your style. But lucky for me I still got a good one. 😉

  6. How do you navigate writing posts about Even Steven? When I write about the Mister, we have a rule that he gets first peek at it before I hit post – though he never censors what I’ve written. Do you have any similar set ups?

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