Miles and Alice in a Wedding

Miles and Alice were in their first wedding on Saturday. It was also Miles’s 5th birthday (how did that happen?)

I was overly confident in my organization leading up to the day. I had Miles’s presents wrapped. I knew where their wedding clothes were, I knew what I was going to wear.

I knew who was going to watch Simon while we were at the wedding.

We had to be there at 4 pm – dressed and ready for pictures… But when it actually came time to put my plans into action, absolutely nothing went according to plan.

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Our day went something like this:

7 am – 1 pm – We celebrated Miles’s birthday.

Miles turns five my life and kids

The birthday monsters came to our house overnight and hung up birthday signs and streamers all over the house. We went out to breakfast, we opened presents, we played with new toys. Miles was thrilled to be five!

1 pm – All three kids went down for naps.

2 pm – Even Steven went down for a nap.

2 pm – I decided to exercise.

2:45 pm – I ate lunch.

3 pm – I decided to take Big Hairy Dog for a walk in the rain.

3:15 pm – I woke up Even Steven, Miles and Alice. I proceeded to attempt to get myself ready.

3:17 pm – I decided it would be a great time to Nair my upper lip.

3:17 pm – Even Steven hopped in the shower, and I realized I wouldn’t have time to take one of my own. Which is pretty gross considering that I had exercised…

3:18 – 3:45 pm – I spent 20 minutes looking for my other shoe – found it in the laundry chute- no doubt tossed down there by the child that used to be my favorite.

Where is my other shoe my life and kids

I spent 3 minutes painting the six toenails that would be showing through my peeptoe shoes. (Don’t you love my kitchen floor? Read more about that here.)

I made snacks for the kids to eat at the church and finished packing my wedding bag.

I remembered that I had Nair on my upper lip – which meant that I also had a chemical burn.

3:45 pm – We should have already been in the car. I put in an SOS call to my mother-in-law who lives right up the street. She came rushing over to help me get Alice and Miles dressed. She also got Simon up from his nap. (Isn’t she the best?)

3:50 pm – I went to curl Alice’s hair and realized that I don’t own a curling iron. She wore her hair straight.

4:05 pm – We finally got in the car. Even Steven noticed that we’re nearly out of gas.

we're out of gas my life and kids

This was the face he made:

Even Steven

4:20 pm – We stopped for gas. And then we got lost – even though I knew where we were going, and I had just been there last night.

This was the face Even Steven made:

Even Steven

4:25 pm – We arrived at the church. The bride was super relaxed and didn’t care that we were late.

4:28 pm – We realized that Even Steven was wearing the exact same suit as the groomsmen. I thought it was hilarious. Even Steven did not.

Even Steven

4:30 – 5:15 pm – We put finishing touches on the kids’ outfits. They behaved for pictures. We practiced a little.

Anna Miles and Alice at wedding mylifeandkids

5:15 – 5:45 pm – The kids were starving. Between the two of them, they ate four sandwiches, raisins and two bananas.

Bring shirts for flower girl to wear over dress before wedding my life and kids

Thanks to Christina for giving me the great advice to bring old shirts to toss on over their clothes while they eat. (And yes – these shirts used to be Even Steven’s favorites. You can read more about that here.)

6 pm – I started getting really nervous.

6:05 pm – Even Steven and I were sitting in the 2nd row pew waiting for the wedding to start.

6:07 pm – Miles and Alice started walking down the aisle. THEY MADE IT!! They were adorable! They didn’t cry! I’m so proud!

Cute kids in a wedding my life and kids

Spoiler alert: It all goes downhill from here…

6:08 pm – The kids were standing at the altar. We bowed our heads to pray. Alice giggled loudly. The entire church laughed, so it was okay.

6:09 pm – Alice realized she had an audience.

She started hamming it up at the front of the church.

She waved to me and yelled “HI MOMMY.”

She made silly faces at the wedding guests.

She danced.

6:10 pm – I motioned for her to come sit with me in the pew. She wagged her finger at me and said, “NO NO NO”

6:10 pm – I went to the front of the church and took Alice’s hand. She screamed “NO!”

6:10 pm – I carried a sad Alice out of the church.

We ate apples and read books until the ceremony was over.

Alice after getting kicked out of the wedding mylifeandkids

After watching Alice get pulled from the wedding, Miles was on his best behavior for the rest of the ceremony.

Sometime after 7 pm – The pictures were over and it was time to head to the reception. The kids were hungry, but they had already eaten all of my snacks.

The flowergirl's shoes were on the wrong feet my life and kids

Just before leaving the church, we realized that Alice’s shoes had been on the wrong feet all day.

8 pm – We arrived at the reception. The kids were excited. Miles thought that the gift table was full of presents for him since it was his birthday.

8:30 pm – Miles and Alice drank massive cranberry and sprite drinks courtesy of Even Steven. Miles chuggged his (that part is important).

9 pm – Food was just about to be served. The kids were hungry. Miles started complaining of a tummy ache.

Miles is getting sick wedding my life and kids

9:08 pm – Miles started throwing up.

Luckily Even Steven got him to the bathroom first.

9:15 pm – We cleaned up the bathroom and said a quick goodbye to the bride and groom.

We didn’t eat.

9:20 pm – We were headed home.

Miles passed out in the car my life and kids

9:45 pm – We got home and Miles threw up all over the bathroom. Big Hairy Dog ate a lot of it.

10 pm – The kids weren’t hungry anymore and went to bed. Even Steven put in a load of laundry. I started cleaning the bathroom.

10:40 pm – Even Steven and I had cereal for dinner.

11 pm – The day was over.

I’m pretty sure my kids will never be invited to be in a wedding again. Which is probably fine with me.

What are your ring bearer and flower girl horror stories?

29 thoughts on “Miles and Alice in a Wedding

  1. The one time I was a flower girl when I was three, my mother was paranoid that I would skin my knees (which would show in the dress I was wearing), so she made me play inside all week. Guess who skinned both knees outside the church?

  2. They were absolutely adorable and perfect!!! Alice saved the day by giggling I thought I was going to project vomit from nerves up until that point.

  3. Anna, beforeI had kids I thought ring bearers and flower girls were a good and cute concept. However, I now know better. When we did get married, we had only a flower girl and she was already 7 years old and still cried at my house before leaving for the church for her father (who was a groomsman, too), while I carried her around like a baby before we left. In Hindsight now, I would not have had any kids just adults. I have to be honest and tell you I could tell a mile away where you were going with this one though (call it the mother in me). Sorry, but I could so see this happen to me too if I were in your shoes (it is just Murphy’s Law that nothing ever goes as planned with kids!).

  4. Jordann! You were the most fabulous, laid back bride ever! My kids will talk about this wedding forever – such great memories. 🙂 And you were absolutely gorgeous – so excited for you and Chris!! So glad that Alice kept you from puking at the altar – although that probably would have made for a better blog post. 🙂 Have fun on your honeymoon!!!

  5. Oh! I got a shout out on one of my favorite blogs! Today is going to be a gold star day 🙂 I’m glad the shirts worked! You could have used them for puke drop cloths as well.

    Someday I should tell you about the time I naired my lip, chemical burned it and then had to go to chem class. However, that would ignore that I just did it again a couple months ago and had to try to get my male co-workers to QUIT ASKING SO MANY QUESTIONS!

    And I must admit- we avoided having flower girls or ring bearers, mostly because my four-year-old nephew was like a poster child for Supernanny.

  6. That was a horrible day and I should say something sympathetic about it. But all I want to say is that my girls have the same shoes as your Alice.

    That’s all. Love your blog, btw. 🙂

  7. You are….oh, what’s that word? Oh, yeah….HILARIOUS (again!). I have no stories to even come close to this. My kids were never in weddings (until they were in their 30’s and by then they did pretty well at behaving themselves). My grandson was a ring bearer when he was little….totally adorable, behaved beautifully (what did you expect? He’s MY grandson!). Of course he had a huge case of pink eye….kinda messes up the pics of him in a tux. My youngest granddaughter was a minature bride in a wedding. Again….perfect (sorry, all my grandkids are perfect). But the FUNNY here…..a couple weeks after that wedding, the bride and groom came back to church. My granddaughter saw them and said “Oh look! there’s the girl who was in my wedding!”.

  8. LOL, this post sounds very familiar. I had 3 kids within 13 months so I feel your pain. 🙂

    My brother & his bride-to-be decided they wanted me to read a passage of scripture during their wedding. I forewarned them that it would be impossible for me to get up to the podium and read an entire passage with my 3 children (at the time one was age 4 and the others a set of 3-year-old twins) remaining quietly seated in the pew (I’m a single mom and didn’t have a date to the wedding, and no one volunteered to help me child-wrangle the day of the wedding). They insisted I do it though, and – lo & behold! (of course) – the day of the wedding even though we had a Serious Discussion before the ceremony that they were to remain seated quietly when I went up on stage… and even though just prior to when I was supposed to go up there they again nodded their heads and swore up & down that they promised to stay seated and be good while mommy went up on stage… as soon as I got out of my pew and began walking up the stairs, guess who followed me up there in a little line like a row of ducklings??? LOL! Everyone in the church started laughing, but later they told me it was soooo cute and their favorite part of the ceremony. 🙂 Luckily they were all dressed super cute and behaved well up on stage while I was reading, and followed me back to the pew politely when I was done with the reading. 😛

  9. What an awesome day!! LOL! At my own wedding, I had two flower girls and one ring bearer. Well, the ring bearer refused to hold hands with the flower girls so they decided he was not allowed to walk down the aisle. That proved to crush his little heart, so he decided to run down the aisle (full throttle) while checking behind him to see if the flower girls were chasing him. While my father and I walked down the aisle, he kept making fart jokes. He told me he’d give me $1000 if I ripped one and announced it to everyone. My husband was totally confused on why my dad and I were cracking up while walking towards him. My father-in-law’s cousin gave a speech…it went something like this, “We are so happy to have Liz a part of our family. I was sold on her once I learned that she was potty trained and had all her teeth”. It was a great day! =)

  10. I wondered why I didn’t have a flower girl or ring bearer… now I remember 🙂
    I dyed my hair black once, and got the dye all over my face and neck. No problem, I thought, I have a Mr Clean Magic Eraser. It did the job all right… and took off several layers of skin and burned the rest. Beauty scabs for days.

  11. My son got married in September, my grandson (who is 15 months) was supposed to be the ring bearer, also puked!! His Mom was at church already, she was a bridesmaid, so Dad brought Little Grandson to the church after his nap, he was in his little tux and Dad was dressed up, so cute!!! Than just before everything started, Little Grandson started puking and puking!! All over himself, all over his Dad, all over the church!! Dad ran to the bathroom, Little Grandson puked all the way!! So, he never made it down the aisle, and his Dad and him had to leave and missed the whole wedding!! Thank goodness he didn’t puke on his Mom or going down the aisle!! But, our family picture didn’t have my grandson or son-in-law in it! 🙁

  12. Anna, you truly have some of the best stories! So here is my ring bearer story for you. My brother, who was 22 years younger than me (second marriage), was invited to be a ring bearer in his much older cousin’s wedding. He was adorable, all dressed up in his little tiny tuxedo (he was 4 years old at the time). Just before the wedding as the guests were entering the church, he stood with the groom and his mates and greeted the guests. As one elderly lady approached he turned and (I am so sure accidentally) threw up all over her pretty high heeled shoes.

  13. My oldes son was ringbearer at my mom and stepdad’s wedding when he was 4. He was supposed to stand up by my mom the whole time…
    He got bored and decided to just plop right down on the steps of the alter and wait patiently with his little face in his hands. Priceless!

  14. Very funny story! My daughter and her cousin were in my sister’s wedding. We were all worried how it would work out because they were both pretty busy little bees. The day of the wedding, they both got a terrible cold so we gave them cold medicine and they were little angels! Many years later, that sister of mine had two adorable girls who were flower girls in their cousin’s wedding. They looked so cute! The temperature in the church must have been over 100 degrees and the girls got bored. They ended up hitting each other with their flower baskets at the alter. Fun!

  15. Hey, I’ve got a cute Miles, too. He and his brother will be the ring bearers in his auntie’s wedding next month. I hope we won’t have any horror stories afterward.

    He was in my brother’s wedding 2 years ago and was absolutely adorable. Since he was only 2 at the time, nobody expected much. I “dropped him off” at the start of the aisle and my husband was waiting up front. As soon as he was done, we whisked him away. The only thing that didn’t go according to plan was that when he got to the front, he realized he had left the flower girl behind (she was also two and was distracted dropping the petals), so he turned and jogged back to get her, then walked to the front with her again. But I think everyone thought it was cute, because he was just a little guy.

  16. Oh my gosh! That is one heck of a day. I haven’t had any wedding situations like this, just other “my kids have no problem embarrassing me” moments…but they usually make me laugh because I always think what a good blog post it will make. Ha!

  17. As soon as you said you celebrated a birthday the same day as the wedding, I knew there was some sort of throwing up disaster involved. They are very cute and I love Alice’s dress.

  18. Oh I can just picture those little ones following their Momma up to the altar – loved it! Thanks for sharing!

  19. My girls are about to be flower girls for the first time…the day before my daughter’s 9th birthday, so I will be crossing ALL of my crossables that we have a slightly different *ahem* experience than this one! 😉 Your kids looked adorable and you and your hubby looked fabulous! 🙂

  20. I can’t believe you made it through a wedding so late with kids that age. Good for all of you! Except for the throwing up part – that was maybe not so good for the ‘making it through’ theory. A wedding scheduled that late at night I’d have said sorry, my kids will never make it! Photos are gorgeous and totally worth it.

  21. My girls, my niece and my nephew are in a wedding the first of June. They are aged 4, 3.5,2.5 and 2. I see my day going pretty much the same way. BUT, what beautiful family pictures you got before the puke starting flying. I’ll get back to you on how it goes in June.

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