Laughs

5 Signs That I’m a Middle-Aged Mom

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I started noticing some changes in my life a couple of years ago.

At first I thought it was pregnancy hormones (I was pregnant with Simon at the time). Then I thought maybe it had something to do with the kind of soap I was using.

But now, I realize that I’m just becoming a middle-aged mom.

Afraid you’re becoming one too? Here are a few of the signs I noticed…

MY LATEST VIDEOS

I wanted a minivan
I’m not kidding you, I wanted it so badly I could taste it. A minivan? In silver? Yes, please! In fact, I’ve found that my left eye starts to twitch when I’m riding in a vehicle that is not a minivan.

Even Steven wears rubber gloves
After a long day of my husband working and me taking care of the kids, we like to unwind by Even Steven slipping on a pair of rubber gloves and helping me take off my compression hose. How do you spell S-E-X-Y?

Even Steven

Vacation Fund
My vacation fund is now my varicose vein surgery fund. See above. And – PS – vacations with kids aren’t really vacations. Amiright?

Christmas List
My Christmas list for the past two years has consisted of every single item in the LL Bean catalog. I mean – if they make a soft turtleneck in every single color, then why wouldn’t I wear one every single day? Someone please agree with me on this!

Raisins
Yes, I said raisins. And – no – I’m not referring to a part of my body.

I knew I was a mom when I realized that the raisin on my living room floor would stay on the floor until I picked it up. It could be days, weeks – maybe even a year if I let it go that long. But I know I’m now a middle-aged mom because I’m oftentimes too tired and sore to bend over and pick up that raisin.

And – PS – why will my kids eat woodchips off the playground but they won’t eat a freaking raisin off the living room floor?

I’m not even going to get into the gray hairs or the bodily changes – or how Even Steven is nagging me about college funds. That would be much too depressing for all of us.

Are you a middle-aged mom? What were your signs?

29 Comments

  1. Lauren

    November 11, 2013 at 5:48 am

    Anna, how old are you?

  2. Janine Huldie

    November 11, 2013 at 7:17 am

    Yes to the raisin that is still on my floor and I ask that question everyday why my kids will ingest the sand on the playground floor, but won’t touch the food they dropped on the floor, too!

  3. Kristin @ OneOrganicMama

    November 11, 2013 at 7:32 am

    come on… who doesn’t want a minivan

  4. Carrie

    November 11, 2013 at 8:04 am

    That I’m ready for bed by 8:30! …even if the kid is already asleep. Sitting through a 9:00 movie seems impossible! :/

  5. Anna Luther

    November 11, 2013 at 8:24 am

    Early 30’s…

  6. Anna Luther

    November 11, 2013 at 8:25 am

    Seriously – it’s the most ridiculous thing ever! Oh – you’ll stick both hands in the toilet and cry about having to wash them – but you drop your toast on the floor for three seconds and it’s ruined!?!

  7. Anna Luther

    November 11, 2013 at 8:25 am

    I know – I can’t think of anyone… (Which is probably also a sign of middle-aged mothering.) 🙂

  8. Anna Luther

    November 11, 2013 at 8:26 am

    YES!! We tried to watch the Tigger movie last night, and I slept through most of it (and it was over at 8 pm!)

  9. Janine Huldie

    November 11, 2013 at 8:27 am

    Omg, yes! And Lily even completely undress ed herself when she did this move and stood there like it was no big deal, but the waffle drops on the floor and all hell breaks loose. God I so can relate!!

  10. Lisa R. Petty

    November 11, 2013 at 8:31 am

    I’m 42, with one 16 year-old, but I still don’t feel middle-aged. I’ve never wanted a mini-van. never. I DO wear compression hosiery at times, because I had a DVT last year. Good times.
    You are far too beautiful to be middle aged. 🙂

  11. anonymous

    November 11, 2013 at 8:58 am

    I laughed more over finding out you were in your “early 30s” as opposed to the post. Next week my daughter & I turn 2 and 42…now THAT is “middle age mom-dom!” 😉

  12. Kellie

    November 11, 2013 at 9:22 am

    My husband traded in his gt mustang for my silver Toyota a Sienna that might just be the real love of my life. I love my minivan…a lot.

    For me, it’s shopping at the mall that makes me feel old. Forever 21 was 11 years ago for me and I don’t like anything in there. I walk around the juniors section before heading over to the women’s dept just to remind myself that I am not a teeny bopper and that I hate those styles. Well, maybe not hate, but I would look ridiculous in most of it. Hell, I just go to target and buy a shirt in multiple colors because it’s just going to get ruined by my three boys anyways (6,4, an 7 mos).

  13. Thersea

    November 11, 2013 at 9:35 am

    The minivan was definitely a sign for me. We borrowed one from hubby’s grandparents to take to an out of state wedding, and afterwards I never stopped pining for one until we got one. I can’t even stand to take the hubby’s car to the grocery store. Even if it’s just me- I take the van. I can also relate to the early bed time too. If my husband wants to watch a movie with me, he knows he better ask around 6-7 or I’ll punk out half way through and go to bed.

  14. Lisa Owen

    November 11, 2013 at 10:05 am

    Lol! I, too am a middle aged mom and proud of it!

  15. Earthmama

    November 11, 2013 at 10:32 am

    YES-minivan, v.veins and compression socks, raisins, ready for bed at 8pm, waves of thinning-dry gray hair, sagging boobs and 4x csection belly, matronly arms, cleaning up the same mess EVERY SINGLE DAY. Thoughts of EVERY SINGLE DAY:#1 what am i going to make for dinner #2 are these kids normal? #3 why did i have so many? especially when all i want is calm and peace #4 i HATE school even more than when i was a kid #5 what were we thinking – did we really hate our lives this much????

  16. Earthmama

    November 11, 2013 at 10:33 am

    p.s- im only 35

  17. Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

    November 11, 2013 at 2:25 pm

    Amen to the “Why won’t they eat that raisin off of the living room floor?” I mean c’mon, work with me here. Ellen

  18. Lisa

    November 11, 2013 at 2:32 pm

    Ooo, I am past the mini van thing…it was a happy day when I traded mine in…

  19. Carrie

    November 11, 2013 at 5:05 pm

    well, Anna, it was a kids movie afterall 😉 I was referring to GOING out to the movies for a 9:00 showing. there’s no way anymore. heck, haven’t even been out tot he movies in a year. 🙁
    P.S. I’d love a mini van too, before #2 arrives! What type do you drive?

  20. Kristine Miller

    November 11, 2013 at 5:06 pm

    I’m 27 but I’ve been married for almost 9 years and we have 4 kids, which basically equals middle-age to me. I’ve been pining for a minivan for years but the husband won out and we have a SUV. Yes, to the raisins! Yes, to knowing every chore will still be there for you even if you leave the house for 2 hours. And as for a vacation fund, I’m just happy no one has turned off our power 😛 my kids have aged me: I’m 27 going on 43. help me! Ha

  21. Carrie

    November 11, 2013 at 5:09 pm

    P.P.S. Anna, is it possibly to add a ‘like’ button to the comments section? 🙂 I can relate to SO many of these, and I’m in the early 30s too…

  22. Lori

    November 11, 2013 at 11:01 pm

    I’m 35 and preggo with my first. I was surprised my missed period wasn’t menopause.

  23. Crazed in the Kitchen

    November 11, 2013 at 11:10 pm

    I squeaked out kid #3 just 2 months before I turned 40 (well, “squeaked” isn’t really the word for what I was doing during her birth, I guess…). And I love my minivan so so much. Like, possibly an unhealthy amount. 😉

  24. Kristi D

    November 11, 2013 at 11:57 pm

    Love it. Hilarious. I am SO right there with you. I’d try to share something funny, but I’m currently suffering from mushy mom-brain…

  25. Mommyx2

    November 12, 2013 at 12:47 am

    I also can TOTALLY relate…to everything! I’m 36 & have had 2 kids within 2yrs…totally aged me like 20 yrs! I HATED the thought of a minivan…guess what?! I own one now, and LOVE it!! Though I would never admit it to anyone! Mom underwear over my old stand by thong…yoga pants even if I haven’t gone to a yoga class in forever! The list goes on & on. Ugh. I hate to admit it, but yes…I’m a middle aged mom. What has happened to me?!?!

  26. Michelle

    November 12, 2013 at 6:38 am

    My son is 4 and I am 46. I was middle aged BEFORE I became a Mom. I have a silver mini-van that I love and the raisin stays on the damn floor. Besides all this, I know I’m middle aged Mom because when my son wants me to play on the floor with him, he automatically grabs the Thomas the Train blanket for me to sit on so my legs don’t get sore. 😉

  27. Parri

    November 13, 2013 at 10:12 am

    I knew I was middle-aged when I bought a Tupperware cake carrier and couldn’t wait to show my husband how it “burped” and came with a detachable handle. I once hung out in the East Village and wore one earring and a Boy George coat. Now I’m getting excited over freshness! And, incidentally, we went shopping for a mini-van and drove off the lot with a convertible! Middle age to mid-life crisis! Got rid of it three months later when we moved to NY and my husband feared the top would be slashed. But for three months, I was the happiest mom in the car pool!!!

  28. holley

    November 21, 2013 at 2:50 pm

    so funny!

  29. kat lyons

    December 3, 2013 at 4:37 pm

    same here i’m 30ish like in 4 years i’ll be 40, but whatever like i was saying same here husband wanted to buy me a car a nice small compact car to go out in i said nope i want my SUV it;s not a mini van but i still wanted the SUV, when my honda pilot was in the shop i was given a mazda 6 🙁 not fun! now i got a chevy traverse with my toddler carseat & toys in the 2nd row. I’m happy now 🙂

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