5 Signs That I’m a Middle-Aged Mom
I started noticing some changes in my life a couple of years ago.
At first I thought it was pregnancy hormones (I was pregnant with Simon at the time). Then I thought maybe it had something to do with the kind of soap I was using.
But now, I realize that I’m just becoming a middle-aged mom.
Afraid you’re becoming one too? Here are a few of the signs I noticed…
I wanted a minivan
I’m not kidding you, I wanted it so badly I could taste it. A minivan? In silver? Yes, please! In fact, I’ve found that my left eye starts to twitch when I’m riding in a vehicle that is not a minivan.
Even Steven wears rubber gloves
After a long day of my husband working and me taking care of the kids, we like to unwind by Even Steven slipping on a pair of rubber gloves and helping me take off my compression hose. How do you spell S-E-X-Y?
My vacation fund is now my varicose vein surgery fund. See above. And – PS – vacations with kids aren’t really vacations. Amiright?
My Christmas list for the past two years has consisted of every single item in the LL Bean catalog. I mean – if they make a soft turtleneck in every single color, then why wouldn’t I wear one every single day? Someone please agree with me on this!
Yes, I said raisins. And – no – I’m not referring to a part of my body.
I knew I was a mom when I realized that the raisin on my living room floor would stay on the floor until I picked it up. It could be days, weeks – maybe even a year if I let it go that long. But I know I’m now a middle-aged mom because I’m oftentimes too tired and sore to bend over and pick up that raisin.
And – PS – why will my kids eat woodchips off the playground but they won’t eat a freaking raisin off the living room floor?
I’m not even going to get into the gray hairs or the bodily changes – or how Even Steven is nagging me about college funds. That would be much too depressing for all of us.
Are you a middle-aged mom? What were your signs?