Sometimes, I Wish I was Married to a Woman
Some days, I really wish that I was married to a woman.
Back when the kids were in daycare, one of the girls in Alice’s class had two moms. Here’s what I witnessed on a daily basis:
Mom 1 drops something on the floor while carrying the baby.
Mom 2 (because of course they’re doing drop-off together!) RUSHES over to pick up what Mom 1 dropped and says something like, “Don’t you dare bend down – you’re carrying our little girl. I’ll get that for you!”
If they were this nice to each other at daycare drop-off, I can only imagine what their home life was like.
Honey – you have PMS. Let me make dinner, clean up after us and then bring you some dark chocolate.
Honey – you got to be pregnant with our child. Can I PLEASE be the one that breastfeeds her and gets up in the middle of the night with her? Please let me experience that – since I didn’t get to feel her kick inside of me.
Honey – I got us mani/pedis together to celebrate Valentine’s Day. Sound good?
Honey – I got us the greatest shirt to share. You can wear it first.
Honey – I’ve been trying out this new eye serum – you just have to try it. It’s fabulous!
Honey – have you lost weight? You look amazing.
Honey – I just talked to your mother. God – I love that woman. I sent her a ton of pictures of our little cutie pie and then I also invited her down to stay next week with us. Won’t that be fun?
Honey – you have a headache again tonight? Oh my gosh – I do too! What a coincidence…
Unfortunately, Even Steven is so smoking hot that I would never leave him for a woman. But wouldn’t it be nice?