A Letter to My Womb
You need to shut. up.
I’m serious. I totally listened to you when Miles was only 6 months old, and I got pregnant for Alice. The whining. The aching. The “Ohmygosh this is all going so fast, you need another baby right. now.”
And I ignored you for months before I got pregnant with Simon. Because I was, you know, busy moving to the suburbs.
And now that Simon is 7 months old and crawling all over the place and saying “da da” and eating Cheerios – I know you’re going to start whining and telling me it’s time for another one. You’re going to start yelling at me soon.
And I’m telling you right now, that this time, I will NOT be listening to you.
And – I know – you think I won’t be able to ignore you this time – just like I wasn’t able to the last two times. But this time I have a secret weapon. See – when I was pregnant with Simon – I sent myself emails about just how horrible I was feeling. So that when you started talking to me about needing babies, I would have something to remind me of why I DON’T need to be pregnant again. And why I DON’T need one more kid in this house telling me what to do.
You’re now 20-some weeks pregnant with baby #3. I’m writing this to remind you of a few things when this baby is 6 months old or so and your womb starts whining…
You’re not good at being pregnant. Flat out, not good. Your first trimester is spent with excruciating cramps and severe exhaustion – not to mention the ongoing, constant nausea.
Your second trimester hasn’t been much better this time around. You aren’t getting that burst of energy that you had with the first two. You aren’t forgetting you’re pregnant…
You basically suck. You don’t do laundry, you complain about everyday chores.
Your ankles and feet are swollen
And your legs have terrible veins popping up everywhere!
Your face is big, and people are asking you if you’re retaining water.
When you complain to the doctor about lack of energy (etc),. they just tell you that you have little kids at home. Of course you’re tired.
You have constant heartburn, you puke at least once a week, you’re limited to one cup of coffee per day…
So, listen… You don’t need another baby. Peel some wallpaper. Make some curtains out of sheets. Paint a room. Have lunch with friends, do something for yourself. Do crafts with Alice or go on a hike with Miles. But don’t have another baby.
There’s a lot to be said for enjoying your life. Your family needs you – the best you they can get. When you’re not pregnant or caring for a newborn, you have all sorts of energy. You exercise. You laugh. You make meals, clean up, do laundry – and still have energy to spare. You think of nice things to do for your friends, and you’re able to follow through on them. All of that changes for at least a year when you get pregnant.
So just hold back. Focus on yourself and your family. There are so many fun vacations, fun traditions and enjoyment to be had. But this family needs you to lead that fun. It needs you to join in with all the energy and enthusiasm you can muster – and you don’t have it for a year when there’s a new baby. So take a deep breath, and enjoy your family.
Go hold other people’s babies. Hold your own. Shop. Keep yourself busy. But you’re fine with three. Just fine!
So – take that – Aching Womb. You can suck it.
(But maybe we could chat when Simon is going to kindergarten or something? Maybe?)