My Life

I’m Okay

By  | 

Christmas morning started just like every other morning. Simon woke me up at the crack of dawn, and I raced to his room to pick him up before he woke up his brother and sister. I brought him into our bed and snuggled up to nurse him.

Just like we’ve done every single morning since he was born. We’ve had 10 months of mornings exactly like this one.

Simon in his Bed

Except Christmas morning was different.

He didn’t want to nurse. No interest whatsoever. Bite me? Sure. Eat? Not a chance. After several painful attempts to nurse him, I gave up and gave him a bottle.

And that was that. He hasn’t nursed since…

And I’m okay.



Since March of 2007, I have had a total of 6 months and 2 weeks that I haven’t been pregnant or nursing a baby. That’s it. Only 6 months of the past 5 years where my body was just mine. (And I spent that 6 months selling a house, buying a house and moving.)

So on Christmas morning, I got this great gift. I guess. The decision was made for me. My big boy was growing up. He was done. And I’m okay.

I’ve given away the baby things.

I’ve moved the high chair out of the kitchen and replaced it with a booster chair at the kitchen table.

The pack n’ play isn’t set up anywhere in the house, and the baby bathtub is long gone.

No More Baby Bathtub

And as of Christmas Day, I’ll never nurse a baby again.

And I’m okay.

I only have one child in diapers, and my days of two cribs in my house are numbered.

And I’m okay.

My kids are still little, but they’re growing up. Faster than I ever thought they would.

I remember taking baby Miles to his first doctor’s appointment. He weighed a whopping 5 pounds, and we sat in the waiting room at the pediatrician’s office, and I said to Even Steven – “Do you think Miles will ever be that big?” and pointed to a 3-month-old baby. Even Steven said, “Never.”

Miles is Growing Up

And here we are just four years later with three little kids that are getting big. My baby days are numbered. I’ve written a preemptive letter to my womb. I’ll never nurse a baby again.

And I’m okay.

Sweet Simon

(And to celebrate not being pregnant or breastfeeding, I’ve been taking over-the-counter medicine like it’s my job. Nyquil? Yes, please! Benadryl? For sure! Cold-EEZE? Don’t mind if I do!)


  1. jennibell

    January 3, 2012 at 10:03 am

    Wow. . .that was kinda a hard milestone for me. . .but knew it was time too. I’ve never added up the time that I wasn’t pregnant or nursing the 6 years that I was but do remember giving all the baby stuff away after the third and still nursing the third and surprise (!) there was a fourth fast on her heels — ha! So I kinda remember saying “this is it” with my last, and like you, I was o.k. But still something that is o.v.e.r. Time continues to fly — I know you know that — enjoy it all!!

  2. Beth

    January 3, 2012 at 10:44 am

    White Russian for breakfast??!!! Yes she will!!!!

  3. Madison

    January 3, 2012 at 11:22 am

    Aw Anna! Your kids are getting all grown up now. Big High Five to you for breastfeeding for as long as your baby wanted to.

    I too hit the drugs big time when DS stopped breastfeeding. No more namby pamby paracetamol for a cold. Good old Day and Night Nurse and anti-histamines for hayfever. How I missed you.

    Madison xxx

  4. Lesley

    January 3, 2012 at 1:37 pm

    Great post! I had exactly the same thoughts over the summer when I looked at my 3 kids playing happily together (for once) and realized I was glad I wasn’t chasing a toddler around or dealing with multiple kids in diapers… only to find out a few weeks later that I was pregnant again. {Oops.} So please be careful!!! 😀

  5. Leah

    January 3, 2012 at 2:11 pm

    you are handling things so well. 🙂 congrats and welcome back to your body. perhaps another marathon? 🙂

  6. imklvr

    January 3, 2012 at 4:18 pm

    I so love and appreciate your honesty! One thing that will never’ll always be their mom. Mine are 43 and 45! And I’m STILL mom! Love every minute of it, too!

  7. Danee

    January 3, 2012 at 4:29 pm

    Well first of all he was probably only going through a nursing strike which is typical at this age. However, if you want it to be the end of breastfeeding-then that is fine by me. Everyone gets to make that decision herself (along with kid) and nobody else should have a say. After being a baby factory for 3 years straight I can understand completely if you are done.

    Second- you can take just about any drug- over-the-counter or prescription when breastfeeding. I did and I am a certified nurse-midwife so I did the research. The doctors tell you not to out of ignorance and being too lazy to look it up.

    Enjoy your guilt free OTC drug-a-palooza….

  8. Anna

    January 3, 2012 at 8:09 pm

    Yeah – I left out several boring paragraphs detailing the decline of our breastfeeding days. Lots of biting, not much interest by either of us – and just total indecision on my part as to when to end it. So whether it was a nursing strike or not, I think we were both ready! I really wish I had known about OTC drugs during breastfeeding – what a difference that would have made during the past few cold/flu seasons! And – yes – thank you – I’m totally enjoying my drug-a-palooza! 🙂

  9. Anna

    January 3, 2012 at 8:10 pm


  10. Anna

    January 3, 2012 at 8:11 pm

    Oh my gosh – you’re making me so nervous!!! 🙂

  11. Anna

    January 3, 2012 at 8:11 pm

    I totally forgot that I can now drink DAIRY!!! Woo hoo – I’m about to eat a bag of cheese.

  12. 'Becca

    January 4, 2012 at 4:27 pm

    Great attitude! I hope you will be totally free from the weird hormonal shifts I had after weaning (even though my son did it very gradually, he was over 2 years old, and my cycle had returned months earlier) that made my child seem SO AGGRAVATING. It felt like having PMS but only where he was concerned. If you do notice that Simon is very obnoxious, take a deep breath and consider whether your perception might be a little skewed as your hormones settle–or maybe from taking all those drugs. 🙂 Get well soon!

  13. Naomi Jameston

    January 8, 2012 at 4:52 pm

    Have another slice for me! Stupid lactose intolerance… *grumble*

  14. Sandy

    January 30, 2012 at 8:23 pm

    This just happened with me and my almost ten month old…breastfed every 3 hours since he was born then two nights ago just stopped on his own….he will bite me…play with me but not nurse on it….Iam devastated! I will continue to pump to keep my milk supply up and to bottle feed him breast milk but I was so shocked when this happened

  15. Emily

    May 9, 2012 at 1:15 am

    Again, another VERY late comment☺ But awwwwww! For one reason or another my husband and I have only one “little”girl, not so little anymore. But I breastfed her for 3 years, (I think it was because I knew she would be my only and because she was ABSOLUTELY perfect.☺) Anyway, it got to the point to where I finally had to have an actual conversation with her about breastfeeding… Her:Mom, I want to suck (I know not the best “code” word) Me: No honey, mommy has to take medicine that will “leak” into her milk and will not be good for you (know exactly what you mean about OTC drugs, it’s been 4 years and I still take them even when I probably don’t need them, it was a long 3 years☺) Anyway, she is 8 years old now and to this day she will say that my milk tasted like “pink milk” aka strawberry milk (we watched a lot of Charlie and Lola.☺) I was almost in tears when I finished reading this post.
    Sorry for the LONG random comment, reading this brought back lots of happy memories☺ I just found your blog and you are hilarious!!

  16. Emily

    May 9, 2012 at 1:19 am

    And yes, I just found out how to make the ☺ face, can you tell? Okay I think I need to go to bed now.

  17. Kristy

    May 31, 2012 at 11:06 am

    Aww. Catching up on some old posts. I know how you feel. I think I will be “okay” when the time comes, but it will definitely be bittersweet. I realized the other day that in the last 4 years, I have been preggo or nursing for all but 7 months and that is just with 2 little guys. I am still bf-ing my 10-month-old now, but I know it is just a matter of time before he will be done too. Hopefully we’ll still have one more baby to go, so I don’t have to be too sad when he is done! It’s so sad how fast they grow! :'(

You must be logged in to post a comment Login