I had my kids’ pictures taken professionally for the very first time last week.
I know what you’re thinking –
You didn’t take Miles to get his pictures taken every month for his first year?
You didn’t have a photographer come to your house after Alice was born?
Not a chance.
What about Simon?
What about Simon?
I never had their pictures taken because I was too afraid. Afraid that they would behave for the photographer the way they behave for me – with someone pouting, someone wiggling, someone crying – me yelling.
I was afraid that I would spend a fortune only to walk away with a bunch of pictures that make my kids look like wild little monsters.
And then a $25 deal came up on Living Social for the Picture People. So with a lot of necessary encouragement from my sister-in-law, I took the plunge and bought the package.
I said a little prayer and took my three little kids to the picture place at the mall. And it was nearly as bad as I imagined it would be.
We had a pep talk. We managed not to poop or puke on our outfits prior to arrival. We managed to make it from the car to the Picture People without too much drama.
And then it was just what I expected.
Miles was squirrely – much to Alice and Simon’s disgust.
They all looked and acted a little wild.
After about five minutes, they lost all focus. Out came Alice’s hairbow. Miles started running. Alice started pouting. Simon started screaming.
Ten minutes and eight pictures later, the photo shoot was over. Luckily, there was one good one in the bunch – and that’s all we needed.
As we were leaving, I apologized to the new parents that were there with their sweet little newborn baby. I assured them that their daughter would never behave this way.
And I asked the photographer if she had any tips or suggestions if I ever brought my wild kids back for pictures.
“Yes,” she said. “Drink. Heavily.”