Laughs
TEN Blog Posts My Mom Hates
Update: In the four months since I originally wrote this post, my mom has a few more posts that she doesn’t like a single bit. I’m adding them here – to make it TEN posts that my mom hates…
In case you didn’t know, my mom is pretty much my biggest fan.
Every morning, I call her no later than 8 am. She has already read my latest blog post, and is ready to tell me how amazing, hilarious and talented I am.
She subscribes to the comments, so I usually get at least one (usually two) calls throughout the day for her to tell me how many comments I’ve received and what they’ve said.
I’m serious.
She reads your comments out loud to me. And now that I think about it, I should really just have her respond to your comments on my behalf while we’re on the phone… not a bad idea!
Anyway, every now and then a post comes along that she really doesn’t like.
At all.
During our morning phone call she’ll pretend she hasn’t read my post yet (which is my first sign that she doesn’t like it.) And then she’ll call back after she’s had her first pot (or two) of coffee for the day and tell me exactly why she doesn’t like it.
She’s always a good sport about things. She never asks me to take things down or change things. But every now and then, she really doesn’t like what I’ve written.
Here are her the ones she hates the most…
#1 – Why My Mom Has to Use the Coffee Shop Drive Through
She hates this one with a passion. Seriously – she talks about it more than you’d think. She says things like,
It was a disgusting post. Just disgusting.
It was disgusting when it happened, and it was disgusting when you wrote about it.
I’m not sure why people like it so much.
#2 – 10 Parts of Myself I Don’t Recognize After Giving Birth
I knew she wouldn’t like this post while I was writing it. And when I read it out loud to her before it appeared on Scary Mommy, she didn’t laugh once.
Not once.
Every time it comes up she asks why on earth I had to talk about my “elephant.”
And when someone shares it on Facebook, the intro that shows up in the preview pane really bothers her. Believe me, I’ve heard about it several times.
Despite this, she still read it OUT LOUD to my dad! Which nearly killed me. Thankfully, she left out several words and all of #1 and #9. Whew…
#3 – How Am I Still Alive
This one bothers her because every single thing I mentioned is totally true.
And she especially feels bad about the BB Gun – which she should.
#4 – Major Mom Fail
My mom can barely even talk to me about this one. This post makes her so sad that she cries every time I mention it.
And – unfortunately – Alice still does this every now and then.
#5 – Flying with Babies and My Mother
Now you’d think that she doesn’t like this post because it makes her look a little… silly.
But, no, that has nothing to do with it.
She doesn’t like this post because it makes her air sick.
I’m not kidding.
#6 – Five Reasons I Could Never be a Cheerleader
I knew this wasn’t going to be on the top of her list. I hit publish on this post, and then I sat back and waited for her phone call.
Really, Anna? You just had to go there, didn’t you?
Yes, mom. Yes I did.
#7 – Shaking a Few Coconuts Off My Palm Tree
My mom is still in shock (11 years later) that she paid for my tattoo.
I am still in shock that it hasn’t sagged an inch.
You can read it (see it) here.
#8 – Pooping in Public
I know. I know. I went way too far with this one.
But someone please tell me what else I’m supposed to do when I’m stuck in a bathroom stall with my kids?
She wasn’t offended by this post. Not a single bit.
She was, however, offended that I might think that she didn’t know the other meaning for the word beaver.
I just can’t win…
#10 – Believe it or not, there isn’t a #10… yet.
But if you want to read more about my mom, you can see the post she wrote right here.
Isn’t she the greatest?
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43 Comments
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Janine Huldie
March 7, 2013 at 6:58 am
I think it so sweet that your mom does read your posts and comments, too. And can so relate, because my mom pretty much does do the same with my blog. She is my number one fan, but kind of shocked that I haven’t posted anything she hasn’t liked yet, but sure I will eventually. Lord, just give me time, lol!! π
Cherie
March 7, 2013 at 7:02 am
Oh yes. She’s my friend. π
I get her!
Kristin @ OneOrganicMama
March 7, 2013 at 9:33 am
Unlike you, my mom refuses to read MOST of my blog posts. Some comments she has made, “why do you keep posting recipes? No one gets recipes from blogs, I certainly don’t.” “Why do you put pictures of the kids up? Don’t you know everyone can see them?” Thanks for your support mom.
LOVE your humor, LOVE your blog, I read it out loud to my husband last night for like an hour. I was crying I was laughing at your life so hard. Sorry& thanks.
Dona
March 7, 2013 at 9:37 am
What a great mom you have! I feel blessed to “know” you both!
The Dose of Reality
March 7, 2013 at 9:47 am
I love that your mom is your biggest fan. I know I’ve read many of the ones she dislikes, but I’m going back to click and make sure. Sorry, mom.
Diane Kurzynowski
March 7, 2013 at 10:02 am
Anna. I love your blog, it makes me laugh, and I love the sense of humor, that goes with every blog, but in defense of your Mom, the one about Alice made me cry, as a Grandma that one is so heart breaking, but the Coffee Shop one made me bust a gut( sorry Linda ) had to be honest , but in the same breath so very thankful my daughters don’t blog about me!
Amy
March 7, 2013 at 10:09 am
When I started blogging, my mom was so proud of my writing. Now she’s ‘too busy’ to read, and every time I mention the upcoming book she asks if I plan on using my whole name. Every time. I think it’s too personal for her liking. My mother in law reads every day, though.
I like knowing that your mom reads all of your comments. Now I can communicate with her from here. Hi, Anna’s mom! I think you are lovely, and you have raised a self-confident, fun-loving daughter. Way to go!
Lisa
March 7, 2013 at 10:46 am
Your mom has a good sense of humor. I can tell…She raised you! And I bet she can take it. π
ScrapBazaar
March 7, 2013 at 11:02 am
I laugh So loud my kids want me to stop read your blog because they think I am crazy. Love the one about your mom listen a book on CD on random for 3 hours. Too funny!
Cheryl Nicholl
March 7, 2013 at 11:42 am
Well, at least your Mom reads your blog! Mine, doesn’t even have a computer. She still writes checks and licks stamps. She thinks my blog is just a passing fancy ’cause she’s still waiting for me to be a CEO of a Fortune 500 company- and I’m 56!!!
PS- Hi Anna’s Mom. I think your cool.
Carrie
March 7, 2013 at 11:50 am
Anna! I have been a reader of your for a LONG time, and discovered by re-reading each one of these posts you mentioned that you are from almost the same Michigan hometown I am!! I am from Hillsdale, Mi and growing up we thought Jackson was the biggest, bestest city ever! I mean, you had a MALL and a MOVIE THEATER! Not to mention the laser tag and Showbiz Pizza! Anyway, now I live in Lansing (after a detour back home from Greenville, SC) and I just wanted to say “Hello Neighbor!” and small world! π
sha
March 7, 2013 at 1:38 pm
this is hilarious! somehow, maybe i was lucky that day, i missed your elephant post. so glad i got caught up on that one!
Amy K.
March 7, 2013 at 2:06 pm
Your posts about your mom & her follow-up comments are my very favorites!!!
Vicky
March 7, 2013 at 2:30 pm
I’ve been reading your posts for a long time but just now clued in enough to have sign up as a subscriber! Duh! There is nothing more awesome than having your mom or dad as your biggest supporter- a great model for us as moms. And even when they are biased, theyr praise or criticism means everything.
I listed a few of my favorite blogs in a post recently. My mom sweetly called me the next day and said,
-“I read your post last night and I went to all the sites you suggested. I didn’t think any of them were as funny as you.”
-“Well, Mom, I think you are a little biased but I appreciate the compliment.”
-“Im not being biased. I went to those sites ready to laugh. I was totally prepared to laugh. But I just didn’t laugh as much as I do when I read your stuff.”
Although I think every blog I mentioned is hysterical, I appreciated her compliment nonetheless. We are a rare group, those of us who can count our parents as our fiercest cheerleaders. A blessing for sure!
Vicky
http://www.thepursuitofnormal.blogspot.com
p.s. My mom thought this post was really funny. Clearly she’s a tough sell, so that’s sayn’ something;)
Momchalant
March 7, 2013 at 2:41 pm
I get nervous when I write and hold back because of my mother, but like all mothers no matter what they’ll still support you just like your mom still continues to do. I think you’re both awesome moms.
Jen A @ Love, the Arthur's
March 7, 2013 at 9:20 pm
What a fun round up! I thought I’d read all of them but I had to click on them to be sure and was able to read a couple new gems! Love it!
Lil
March 7, 2013 at 10:03 pm
Looks like I’ve got a lot of reading & re-reading to do tonight. This is gonna be fun!
Bethany @ Bad Parenting Moments
March 7, 2013 at 10:19 pm
I love your mom. Tomorrow, just say vasshole 100 times really fast during your first call and then hang up. When she calls back, blame it on me.
Mindy @The Inquisitive Mom
March 7, 2013 at 10:43 pm
Wow! What an amazing mama! I am going to have to come back and read these.
Mom
March 7, 2013 at 10:51 pm
Thank you Amy – that’ very sweet! and I do agree with you about my daughter…although I confess, sometimes it’s scary waking up in the morning and wondering what I’m going to read!
Please send me messages any time!
Anna’s Mom
Mom
March 7, 2013 at 10:53 pm
Hey Diane! I will forgive you for liking the Coffee shop post – but ONLY because you understand the Alice post π Good to hear from you!! You know – becareful – you never know when your daughters may start their own blogs – it’s never too late!!
Mom
March 7, 2013 at 10:54 pm
Well Dona – it’s always a pleasure to see your name with a comment. You are my daughter’s book agent after all! You may even get your own chapter – and why shouldn’t you??
Have a great weekend!
Linda
Mom
March 7, 2013 at 10:59 pm
In my defense….it was my first long flight and I had to keep making sure I knew where the exits were and I also had to keep watching the sky for other planes so we didn’t crash into one….so I wasn’t paying total attention to the book….and truthfully – the mindless novels I read probably sound better on shuffle anyway!
A sane person would never have told anyone – but I discovered it while on the phone with Anna – of all people!!
Mom
March 7, 2013 at 11:03 pm
Thanks Cheryl! I’m not all that cool but I’ll take it π I love it that your Mom still has hope for your Fortune 500 Future…..it’s our right. Right?
Mom
March 7, 2013 at 11:05 pm
Carrie – we used to make the trip to Hillsdale to visit your Walmart – at least once a year…and the wicker factory sales?? Be still my heart!
Anna’s Mom
Mom
March 7, 2013 at 11:10 pm
Bethany Bethany Bethany ….did you really tell her to do that to me?? It’s not bad enough that people I know – although I don’t know who for sure – have read that post? Is it not punishment enough that when Anna and her “trashy sister-inlaw” are in town together they get up in the middle of the night and whisper in the kitchen until I hear them and then they go to bed when I come out…pretending it’s nothing…..when it really IS nothing!! Oh – and they try and make me take them to the coffee shop for “old times sake”…..
No more bright ideas for Anna
Thank you very much!
Anna’s Mom
Mom
March 7, 2013 at 11:11 pm
You are forgiven …just don’t think too badly of me when you read the one about why she is lucky to be alive…..:)
Sara
March 7, 2013 at 11:12 pm
Anna, I love you, your blogs, and your mom! I only wish I had a mom like yours. Your posts about growing up with her make me laugh, cry, and remember the few happy memories I have from my childhood. They also occasionally make me pee my pants (why your mom has to use the coffee shop drive through).
I’d also like to thank you for introducing the word “vasshole” to my and my mom friends’ vocabularies. It is now a part of our everyday lexicon.
Amy
March 7, 2013 at 11:17 pm
I think I just fell in love with your mother. These are all even funnier knowing her reaction to them (sorry, mom). That coffee shop post is a riot.
Diane
March 8, 2013 at 1:47 am
Linda so true, but if they do I hope they do it the way Anna does it, her humor, is fantastic, and this just shows what a wonderful relationship you two have, I look forward to seeing what is coming next, every morning I grab my tea and open facebook to read anna’s blog for my first laugh of the day!
Cheryl Nicholl
March 8, 2013 at 11:11 am
I LOVE THAT YOU RESPONDED MOM!!!! sorry anna
Carrie
March 8, 2013 at 11:30 am
Hi Anna’s Mom!!!! Yes, wicker works was awesome I had many friends who had summer jobs there. How funny you visited our Walmart, and we visited your mall. I still remember the day we got the Walmart – it became the local hangout {yikes!}
Is Cascades Falls still open? I miss that place…
Brett Minor (@brettminor)
March 11, 2013 at 10:51 pm
I am almost curious to ask my mother which of my posts she hates the most.
kasey
March 12, 2013 at 9:20 am
Every time I see my family I remind them that I have a blog… Nothing. I say have you looked at it? They say “oh…um… maybe later” AND no one from the town they live in has EVER looked.
So even thought your Mom lied about dancing, at least she reads your blog.
Robin Jingjit
March 14, 2013 at 6:06 am
I’m going to comment on every post you write forever until your mom replies to me. This blog is already hilarious, but what she adds to it is immeasurable!
Anna’s mom – I love you!!
Meredith
May 23, 2013 at 7:38 am
OMG! You and your mom are *awesome*. I’m a new reader of your blog so it was a great start to my morning to travel around to older posts and laugh my ass off. I’m sure your mom will definitely not appreciate this but the coffee shop one was HI-LAR-I-OUS!
Kim- One Classy Motha
May 23, 2013 at 7:51 am
Ugh…you don’t know how much I can relate! But unlike your mom, my mom gives me the silent treatment if it’s about her and I don’t take it down. I say “But mom, you DID send a naked bathtub pic of me to the Little Miss Delaware judges.” and she says “I know, but it sounds bad. We didn’t have pedophiles back then.”
And don’t even get me started on my mother-in-law’s opinion of my Beaver Babies: A Vagucational Tool.
Katy Morgan from Katy in a Corner
May 23, 2013 at 10:58 am
You’re not alone, Anna. My mom doesn’t “get” my sense of humor 99% of the time. And I generally lose my dad halfway through any given post. But, if they thought my blog was amazing, I would have to consider it in the same entertainment category as “The Andy Griffith Show” and “The View.” So, I’m okay with it.
Vicky
May 23, 2013 at 10:56 pm
both my parents have read my blog for the 4 years I’ve been writing it. My mom said from day one that she did not want me to edit things just because they read it because she felt this was my space and my place to grow, share, be “normal” and authentic. However, I’ve learned that she can say a lot with few words. I know she doesn’t like a post when she either says, “I’m sure it’s funny to your friends.” or “I didn’t think it was one of your best.” Thanks for putting a positive spin on things, Mom;)
Vicky
Karen
May 24, 2013 at 2:25 pm
I love these. Even when we are grown adults, writing about our lives, our moms are still there, “sharing” their opinions, meddling a little, overstepping, and conducting their own research at our expense. But, of course, in the most well-meaning, lovable, as only moms can do, sort of way. I love all these, and I love that your mom is so involved in what you do. It says a lot–about both of you! π
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