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Family Road Trip – Fantasy vs Reality

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Family Road Trip - Fantasy Vs Reality

My husband and I just returned from yet another family road trip with our two toddlers, and I can honestly tell you that I would rather listen to Janice from Friends say, “Chaaaaaaaaandlerrrrrrrrr,” on constant loop than listen to Dora the Explorer ask thousands of questions.

For 17 hours.

Each way.

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“Just get a stupid smart phone with GPS already, Dora. For the LOVE!”

This was an unexpected road trip for us, and I posted more about that on my own blog today. So, after you’re done hanging out with Anna, you can come to my blog and check that out. Or not. Whatever.

Anna’s always been cooler than me. I understand if you’d rather hang out with her. She used to sit at the popular table in school. I don’t know that for a fact, but I bet she did. I bet her mom packed Fruit Roll ups and Capri Sun in her lunch. And you know she knew how to put the straw in the top without spilling it all over her clean, white Keds. Editor’s Note – Katy – did you see me in high school? Trust me – I was *NOT* at the cool kids’ table!

I promise this post has a point.

Prison. That is the point of this post. As in, we currently live in Leavenworth, Kansas, the prison capitol of… Kansas, I guess. And I am convinced that my husband is – in some odd, passive-aggressive way – trying to secure himself a spot there.

Free TV. No kids. Hot meals. Laundry service. A routine bedtime. Pickup games of football in the back lawn (kid you not, I can hear them playing from my front door).

It gives a whole new meaning to the term “prison break.”

And I guess Brian has decided that a speeding ticket every other week* is the best way to reserve a room for himself.

Well, Mr. Lead Foot, not so fast (see what I did there?). Because prison could never give you what you have here at home. Like a home-cooked… Like a quiet place… Like…

Take me with you.

*slight exaggeration

7 Comments

  1. Anna's Mom

    October 9, 2013 at 7:58 am

    I could not stop laughing! And now I’m going to be late!! If I speed, I will only go 6 over for sure – thanks for the tip. You are hilarious….oh, and just an FYI – Anna’s not kidding – she really wasn’t at the popular table, her feet are too big to wear really white Keds (that wouldn’t stay clean for a minute) and I hate to cook – so no, I didn’t pack her lunch 🙂

  2. Julie

    October 9, 2013 at 10:58 am

    This is so refreshing. My kids have been gas lighting me since 1995.
    It’s been one heck of a ride. It’s a ride you get on as a mother and never ever get off. ( and you never want to anyways, just would’ve liked to read the manual which never came )

  3. Katy (in a Corner) Morgan

    October 9, 2013 at 11:25 am

    I almost spit out my coffee when I read about your kids “gas lighting” you. I’ve never heard that expression. Love it!

  4. Katy (in a Corner) Morgan

    October 9, 2013 at 11:28 am

    Anna’s mom, I’m pretty sure you and the rest of the world are safe if you go less than 15 miles per hour over the speed limit. My husband seems to have a big, illuminated target on his back. Oh, and I’m so glad to hear that Anna was as pitiful as I was in school. Anna, did you love Fiestada day too? Do you even know what I’m talking about right now?

  5. Katy (in a Corner) Morgan

    October 9, 2013 at 12:30 pm

    Oh, and a word to the “editor,”
    Anna, you KNOW that short hairstyles and big muscles were all the rage back in the day. What teenage boy didn’t want a girl who could beat the ever loving mess out of him? You were cool. Don’t deny it. 😉

  6. holley

    October 9, 2013 at 2:25 pm

    You ARE SO FUNNY!!!! I laughed so hard. you rock, girl.

  7. Katy (in a Corner) Morgan

    October 9, 2013 at 11:33 pm

    Thanks so much, Holley!

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