Laughs

Even Steven, The Anti-Gossip

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Even Steven is the anti-gossip. You can tell him something and ask him to tell the world, and he won’t – just in case you change your mind.

Friends can be spreading Facebook with news of their pregnancy, they could take out an ad in the local newspaper, they could hire an airplane to fly a banner over the town to let everyone know.

But Even Steven would never tell a single soul (especially me) because it just isn’t any of his business.

Even Steven

A friend of ours used to date a girl that didn’t like us. (We’ll call her Jennie). The feeling was mutual, we didn’t like her much either. But we ended up spending a considerable amount of time together.

None of us had kids, and we’d get together every weekend or so to grab drinks, dinner or just hang out.

On one occasion Jennie pretended to fall asleep at the table so she wouldn’t have to talk to us.

On another occasion she was describing the type of engagement ring she felt she deserved and giving her boyfriend grief about not being engaged yet. I slipped my engagement ring off my finger and handed it to her. “Jennie,” I asked. “If your boyfriend gave you this ring right now and got down on one knee and begged you to marry him, what would you say?”

Jennie: Well – I would marry him. But not with that ring. I deserve something much bigger.

Like I said – the feeling was mutual.

Our friend and Jennie eventually broke up and both have moved on with their lives over the past 7 years. Our friend is happily married to a wonderful woman.

And we’d heard that Jennie was also married, but we’ve never seen her since.

At least I haven’t.

Not too long ago, Even Steven and I went out to dinner – just the two of us.

After we got home, he said:

Did you see Jennie sitting at the table next to us?

Me: What? When? Tonight?

Even Steven:
Yeah – she was sitting right next to you.

Me: And you didn’t tell me? Are you kidding me?

Even Steven: I didn’t want to make a scene.

Me: Make a scene? You could have just written it on a napkin or whispered it or something. You have got to be kidding me.

Even Steven:

Me: What did she look like? Is she the same? Did she pretend to fall asleep at any point?

Even Steven: Um – I don’t really know. I didn’t pay much attention.

And that – my friends – is what I have to put up with on a daily basis.

Even Steven, the anti-gossip.

Do you know what it’s like to be married to a person that is against the relaying of information? It’s exhausting.

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10 Comments

  1. Natalie

    June 19, 2012 at 7:04 am

    Sigh… I feel your pain girlfriend! My Sean is the same…… Me: So what did he/she say? Sean: I dunno, cant remember… ME: Surely you can you spoke for 40 minutes… Sean: **shrug**. Grrrrrrr – its like pulling teeth!

  2. Becca

    June 19, 2012 at 7:45 am

    I’ll have to admit I’m the clueless one. My husband knows more about the neighborhood gossip than I do, even though I’m the one who is home all day. For some reason I just don’t catch on to the drama unfolding around me. Except the divorced guy whose roof is covered in mold… I do check regularly to see if the roof has fallen in yet, ’cause it would be a shame to miss it! Oh well, just one more reason to keep hubby around!

  3. Meredith

    June 19, 2012 at 7:55 am

    Ha! “against the relaying of information”! I have to hang out with one of my husband’s coworkers to find out what is going on–not that I’m a gossip whore or anything (;)?), but nice to not say “Oh you got a new haircut” to his boss’ wife only to learn that she just underwent major chemo for A YEAR. Awesome. May just have to start dosing him with truth serum to get the scoop?

  4. Molly Groman

    June 19, 2012 at 9:32 am

    Your so called Jannie must have noticed you both! It would have been very interesting to see her reaction, Steven should have said at-least a simple ‘HI’ out of courtesy!

  5. Staci

    June 19, 2012 at 10:46 am

    Ooh I’d be flamed if my husband didn’t say anything either! Only because I’d want the opportunity to lean over to their table to the new boyfriend and say something like “I thought you said you deserved BETTER than what you already had?” And then just smile and walk out…

  6. Paige Kellerman

    June 19, 2012 at 11:11 am

    Ahhhh! That would’ve been a crucial relaying of information moment! Jennie sounds like she was a delight, a pure delight. Only women really understand the importance of these things.

  7. Kellie M. Mercie

    June 19, 2012 at 6:03 pm

    Yes only women can understand the importance of those that. Thanks for this.

  8. Courtney

    June 19, 2012 at 9:48 pm

    My husband is the SAME WAY! and when i ask for details he gets irritated!!! hhaaa

  9. JD @ Honest Mom

    June 19, 2012 at 10:38 pm

    My husband would do the EXACT same thing! It seems like all our husbands are like this.
    I love the line-

    Even Steven:

    And how you just left it blank. LOL. They just don’t GET IT.

    Men. *Sigh*

  10. Elise

    June 20, 2012 at 4:19 pm

    My husband is the same! Must be a guy thing. 😛

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