Don’t Hate Me Because My Floor is Beautiful

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Dear Readers,

Today I want to thank you. THANK YOU for sticking by me as I complained about my kitchen floor.

Ugly Kitchen Floor

Thank you for sympathizing with me when I shared my fear that my children would get an STD from walking on it.

Even Steven Fixed the Kitchen Floor

Thank you for your sweet words and comments when I thought we were getting a new floor and then Even Steven “fixed” it with duct tape.

Thanks for hanging with me when I made our kitchen floor part of Even Steven’s resolutions for 2012.

And today – I hope you will CELEBRATE with me – because…


Yes – you read that correctly. I have a NEW KITCHEN FLOOR! I can hardly believe it myself.

Last week, Even Steven said to me: “Honey – let’s do the floor.”

Even Steven

I made out with him on the spot! And then I wrote this post on why I love him so much.

We have big plans for a full kitchen remodel in the next 5 – 10 years, and we didn’t want to spend much (any?) money on a floor that we knew we’d be ripping out in a few years. So we decided to do it ourselves and use peel and stick tiles. (Wait till you see how it looks – I still can’t believe it’s peel and stick!)

We went straight to Lowe’s, and I found a tile that incorporated my two favorite colors as a mother: Dirt and Poop.


And in a final goodbye to the old kitchen floor, Simon threw up all over it and then Big Hairy dog ate it.

Simon Threw Up on My Kitchen Floor

BHD Goodbye Kitchen Floor

We dropped the kids off at Even Steven’s mom’s house, and got straight to work. This was by far the easiest home improvement project we’ve ever done together.

One day and less than $300 later, we were finished!

New Kitchen Floor

New Kitchen Floor

Can you believe the difference? No more nicotine stains. No more STDs. No more yellow duct tape!

We also got a new toilet for our first-floor bathroom. And I have to say that (other than a new kitchen floor) there’s nothing quite like a new toilet. So clean. So fresh. So fun. We all filled up on fiber to see who was going to get to take the first poo on the new potty.

At first we thought Even Steven would get the honors.
Even Steven on the Potty

But it ended up being Miles. He was so excited, and we all did a special dance for him. How many people can say that they’ve taken the first poop on a new potty?

Miles on the New Potty

All-in-all it was an exciting weekend for us. Here’s one more before and after for you:

Me: Before my new kitchen floor

Me Before my New Kitchen Floor

Me: After my new kitchen floor

Me After My New Kitchen Floor

What a difference some peel and stick tiles can make!

So – like I said – thank you dear readers for hanging in there with me! And for celebrating with me!



  1. Danielle Higginbottom-Brown

    January 17, 2012 at 7:35 am

    Lmao!!!! you are too cute! and let me tell you, I’m gonna peel and stick my whole house it thats what my body will look like after! lol!

  2. Patricia

    January 17, 2012 at 8:07 am

    Your new floor looks fantastic. Now even my scrubbed and waxed CLEAN laundry room floor that I was so pleased with pales in comparison. Sigh.

  3. Anita

    January 17, 2012 at 8:27 am

    Awesome! Not only is the floor beautiful, I am in awe that you and your hubby actually did it together! As much as I love mine, I just don’t think I have it in me to work on a home improvement project with him. I was worried about our ‘Great Carpool Experiment’ (second month into and we are still married)! πŸ˜€

  4. Holly

    January 17, 2012 at 8:33 am

    Hilarious – and congratulations on the home improvements! It all looks great! Let me say that your blog totally makes my day. I look forward to all of your posts. You make me laugh out loud and I LOVE the fact that you are a mom blogger who doesn’t pretend to be perfect and throws it all out there just like it is.

    Thank you!!!

  5. Jill frank

    January 17, 2012 at 8:45 am

    I love new floors! Great job! Fyi, there are great ways of remodeling that don’t have to cost a huge amount, if you are willing to do most of it yourselves. We gutted our previous kitchen and were able to have a completely new kitchen for just under $5000. Yes, that is a lot of money, but not for a kitchen! Tile floors, cherry wood cabinets, marble tile counters, new appliances, new light fixtures, a little wiring, drywalling. That was our first major remoldel. You can do it if you take your time and realize some things might have to be undone and redone, which happens to the professionals as well.

  6. Dana

    January 17, 2012 at 8:46 am

    Absolutely hilarious!!! Especially your favorite colors as a mother (dirt and poop). And by the way your floor looks great!

  7. brooke adkins

    January 17, 2012 at 8:49 am

    You rock my socks πŸ™‚ lol silly lady

  8. Kai

    January 17, 2012 at 8:53 am

    OMG! A new floor AND a new toilet in one fell swoop? I want to live at YOUR house! Our floor HERE is pretty good. Same with the toilets, I’m happy to report. But our LAST house? Well, I won’t even GO there. Really. I WON’T go there. Because we MOVED from there 3 years ago & the landlady had the house torn down. Does that TELL you anything? Anyway, I LOVE your floor! YAY for doing it yourselves! It’s beautiful! {And, Miles! WOW!!! You are a SUPER rock star. It’s not often one gets to be the first pooper in a NEW TOILET! I’d definitely document that so you can have written (maybe even notorized) PROOF someday when you are telling someone & they have the NERVE to doubt you! I mean, I KNOW your mom documented it via this blog, but some will argue that mothers will brag on their kids for ANYTHING. So I say, DOCUMENTATION is the way to go in this case!} Anyway, I’m so happy for you, Anna! I’d dance but my toilet isn’t that new. I wrote all this, by the way, as payback for making me laugh so hard I spewed LAST NIGHT’S tea all over my monitor. BWAHAHAHA!

  9. sue

    January 17, 2012 at 8:56 am

    I love the vomit picture. You make me laugh my ass off so that maybe I can look like that picture!!

  10. Beth @ QueenBee

    January 17, 2012 at 8:57 am

    HOT DAMN AND HALLELUIAH! This just goes to show what I have known all along…you nag, complain and whine enough….eventually you will wear your husband down and get your way! Sometimes it just takes a little determination! Your flloors look DYN-O-MITE!!!!

  11. Alyson L

    January 17, 2012 at 9:45 am

    LOL. You can tell you’re in a group with other mommies when “Congratulations on the new floor!” goes along with bets on how soon someone throws up on it. My bet: The big hairy dog, within the month. πŸ˜‰

  12. Adrienne

    January 17, 2012 at 10:07 am

    Thanks for the idea! My floor is gross as well. You rock.

  13. Lori

    January 17, 2012 at 10:41 am

    You’re new floor looks amazing! Nobody would guess that it’s peel & stick. Congrats on the new potty too. I just have to say that I look foward to your posts every day. You are so dang funny and always make me laugh. So glad I found your blog . . . you keep it real and I love that!

    Lori : )
    Thrifty Decor Mom

  14. Heather

    January 17, 2012 at 11:23 am

    like! like! like!

  15. SheilaG

    January 17, 2012 at 11:57 am

    Please tell me that wasn’t really vomit on the floor. Never mind, I don’t want to know. You are such a hoot. Got one question, though- how did you manage to get such a nice DL pic? I look like Michael Jackson in mine and I’m a 51 year old white woman.

  16. SheilaG

    January 17, 2012 at 11:59 am

    (or I’m guessing that’s your driver’s license pic with those seals around.) I’m not sure what’s real and what isn’t around here! πŸ™‚

  17. Leanne

    January 17, 2012 at 12:17 pm

    congrats Anna!! You and the floors look fantastic!!! Why don’t I look like that after a diy?!
    PS. I was eating breakfast when I read your post. I threw up a bit in my mouth when I saw your sons vomit picture. πŸ˜‰


  18. Danee

    January 17, 2012 at 12:17 pm

    I stopped breathing for a moment in the middle of the hysteria that overcame me while reading this post. I also commend you for working together as man and wife. Rick and I tried a few remodeling projects but I decided to beg out after we almost got divorced putting up a wall paper border on a stairway- in place of a banister. The yelling and screaming and “are you stupid” comments was too much for me. Plus it scared my then 2 year old to hear her mommy and daddy yelling like that.

  19. Patty

    January 17, 2012 at 12:59 pm

    Okay, Anna I’ve used peel and stick before and believe me I didn’t end up looking like what I just saw you looking like. It must be Even Steven……LOL you are crazy and the floor looks fabulous!!!! XOXO

  20. Rachel

    January 17, 2012 at 2:58 pm

    It looks go good! What a difference. Aren’t you dying that you didn’t do it (the floors I mean…seems like that “other” ship has sailed!) a long time ago? What a big weekend you had! Ah, the things we get excited over now that we are adults.

  21. Vicki

    January 17, 2012 at 5:46 pm

    Anna, Dana introduced me to your blog today when I was over at her house visiting and I’ve subscribed. You are a hoot!! Of course, I knew that about you when you were just a kid, but so many people lose that when they get older.

    So glad to have found you,


  22. AJ

    January 17, 2012 at 5:53 pm

    Wow, what great looking new floors! I’m totally jealous, our kitchen floors need to be done sooo bad. Love the peel and stick, too, did you grout them? Or are they just awesome tiles that already have “grout”?

  23. [email protected]

    January 17, 2012 at 7:47 pm

    I think I’m with you on this one!

  24. imklvr

    January 17, 2012 at 8:09 pm

    I am SO happy for you!!!!!! I’m talkin’ happy-dance happy!!! It’s no wonder you did the whole ‘why I love him’ thing!!!!! Give him a pat on the back for me and say ‘good job, Even’!!!! (Since we’re almost related I figured I could call him by his first name.)
    The floor is gorgeous.

  25. Brooke

    January 17, 2012 at 8:34 pm

    Anna- soooooo very excited for you! I always knew that “Steven” was the best, but his seals the deal! We will have to come dance on the new peel and stick paradise this summer….don’t worry, I’ll wash the asphalt stains from my kids feet first!
    Love, Brooke

  26. sparkling74

    January 17, 2012 at 8:58 pm

    On one hand, I just did a few backflips for you because that is amazing. But on the other, I worry that the stick tiles will harbor all manner of crap and gunk between them. My friend got them in her bathroom with a new toilet and a) the toilet must have cost $32 max because it suuuuuuuucks and b) there is no end to the hair and yuck that is between the little crevices in those tiles now. And with the heat and cold, they move a little. You will have to keep me posted.

  27. Anna

    January 17, 2012 at 9:09 pm

    I never even thought of that. Watch out – I’m about to peel and stick EVERYTHING!! πŸ™‚

  28. Anna

    January 17, 2012 at 9:10 pm

    Never underestimate a good, clean floor! But – you’re right – my peel and sticks look amazing! πŸ™‚

  29. Anna

    January 17, 2012 at 9:11 pm

    Thanks Dana! I hope you’re doing well!!

  30. Anna

    January 17, 2012 at 9:12 pm

    Hmmmm… I will definitely keep you posted on that! We had a muddy mess in the yard today and Big Hairy Dog got into the trash, so it was a great test. So far -it’s passing with flying colors!

  31. Anna

    January 17, 2012 at 9:14 pm

    Ha! I do say that peel and stick can work wonders…

  32. Anna

    January 17, 2012 at 9:15 pm

    We bought the kind that you can grout if you want to – but we didn’t grout them. That’s just how they look… Love them!

  33. Anna

    January 17, 2012 at 9:17 pm

    No kidding – right? I can’t even remember what my floor looked like in college, and here I am obsessed with flooring… πŸ™‚

  34. Anna

    January 17, 2012 at 9:18 pm

    Oh goodness – entire post coming soon about how we usually fight during our DIY projects, and why we DIDN’T fight this time… Stay tuned!

  35. Anna

    January 17, 2012 at 9:19 pm

    Yup – it’s really vomit. And Big Hairy Dog really did eat it. So gross – but I guess it could have been worse?

    Michael Jackson? This I would LOVE to see!

  36. Anna

    January 17, 2012 at 9:21 pm

    Thank you Queen Bee! I learned from the best… πŸ™‚

  37. Anna

    January 17, 2012 at 9:22 pm

    Ha! Actually – all you need are a few peel and stick tiles to look like that!

  38. Anna

    January 17, 2012 at 9:23 pm

    Kai – you are amazing. Everyone – meet Kai! You’re going to love her!

    And I can totally picture me on a soccer field one day taunting other mothers because my son got the first poop on the potty. Ha!

  39. Anna

    January 17, 2012 at 9:24 pm

    Thanks Holly! That’s so sweet! πŸ™‚

  40. Anna

    January 17, 2012 at 9:24 pm

    Such good tips, Jill – thanks! I’ll have to track you down when we’re ready to do the kitchen!

  41. Anna

    January 17, 2012 at 9:25 pm

    You two are cracking me up! Day one: Big Hairy Dog got into the trash AND tracked mud all over it. So far – it’s still looking great.

    I’ll definitely keep you posted on the vomit. πŸ™‚

  42. Karla

    January 18, 2012 at 8:23 am

    Hahaha Love your silly pictures. Your floor looks great. I’m now your newest follower. πŸ™‚

  43. Jamie

    January 18, 2012 at 1:46 pm

    Hilarious! Let’s just say I have the kind of sense of humor that finds toilets (and the like) funny! I’m your newest follower! I found you from Someday Crafts link party.

  44. Christine

    January 20, 2012 at 2:32 pm

    Sorry but I all but peed myself while reading your post!!! So HAPPY for you!!!

    Check out my blog too:

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  46. Crafty Teacher Lady

    January 22, 2012 at 8:53 am

    I love peel and stick tile! I used them to redo to the floor in one of the bathrooms in my first house, very easy to use and inexpensive! Nice work!

  47. Holly

    January 24, 2012 at 2:47 pm

    I just found your blog!! I’m your newest follower and I’m seriously cracking up at your posts! I have a serious question though πŸ™‚ I was all set to do this in my kitchen (you have to see a pic, the floor is even grosser than yours and it’s a nice mustard yellow from the 70s!) But then my friend told me that the peel and stick tiles don’t really stick very well and I’ll be hating it after I put it down. She also said I’d have to pull up the old linoleum… doesn’t sound fun. Did you just put it right over your old floor? Is it pretty durable with the kids so far? (I have 3 too!) Do their never ending crumbs get stuck in the cracks between tiles? If you tell me to do it, I’m totally doing it with my hubby this weekend! {The tiles, that is :)} Thanks!!! –Holly (my email: [email protected])

  48. Jessica

    February 27, 2012 at 3:52 pm

    Your floor looks awesome! And the vomit picture didn’t even make me cringe – maybe I WOULD be a good mother!

  49. Kristin C.

    June 5, 2012 at 9:29 am

    Too funny! I love the new floor! It looks awesome and definitely STD-free πŸ˜‰

  50. [email protected]

    June 8, 2012 at 2:31 pm

    Love the love floor and your pix are hysterical. I will change my floors too if it will update my body too! lol!

    We are running a Before and After Link party to support Habitat for Humanity, with a chance to be featured on other big blogs and win gift cards. Would love if you entered!

  51. Karrie

    June 9, 2012 at 10:33 am

    Your post gets the award for being the most entertaining!
    Your new floor is great and much deserved after all that stress about STD’s ! LOL!!

    I have to note, I have a son named Miles too πŸ™‚

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