Fighting with Even Steven
Even Steven and I stopped exchanging gifts on Valentine’s Day a long time ago.
I know – some of you are shocked that we’ve let something like this happen. You can’t believe that we’d let the most romantic holiday pass us by without acknowledging our love for each other.
So for those of you that are feeling sorry for us – let me just tell you that I totally let Even Steven know how much I love him on Valentine’s Day. If you know what I mean….
This year Even Steven and I had a conversation about Valentine’s Day that quickly led to us (me) considering divorce.
It went something like this…
Me: Let’s pretend we’re the ages we are right now. But we’re just dating. What would you get me for Valentine’s Day?
Even Steven: We’re just dating? How long have we been dating for?
Me: Nearly a year – but not quite.
Even Steven: I’d do something really different. I’d take you on a trip.
Me: Ooohhh – that would be awesome. A trip? That sounds absolutely perfect.
Even Steven: Yup. I’m pretty amazing like that. And I know how much you love a swim-up bar, so I found a place that has two of them.
Me: Oh my gosh – I would totally be down for that. And you’d propose while we’re on the trip, right?
Even Steven: Nope. That would be too expected. I’d wait until a week after we got back.
Me: Ummm… that would be just mean. You know I’d be spending the entire trip thinking you were going to propose. And then you just wouldn’t?
Even Steven: No – I wouldn’t propose. But on our last night there when you realized that I wasn’t going to propose and you threw a giant tantrum about me not proposing and started crying and acting like a crazy person, I’d whip out the ring and tell you that you totally ruined everything.
Me: And then you’d propose?
Even Steven: Heck no. I’d break up with you on the spot and spend the rest of my life being grateful that I didn’t marry the crazy woman.