Laughs

A Scary Story that Explains A Lot

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When I was 10 years old, my mom asked me to grab some chicken out of the deep freezer in the basement.

“But all the lightbulbs are burned out,” she said. “So don’t be scared that it’s dark down there.”

I grew up in a house that had been built by my great-grandparents during World War II. There was nothing finished about the basement – it might even have a dirt floor. Needless to say, it was creepy enough on its own – but with burned out lightbulbs? Downright terrifying.

But I trusted my mother, so I tiptoed down the dark stairs, turned the corner, felt my way to the deep freezer and slowly lifted the lid.

I reached in to feel around for the frozen chicken, and instead, I felt what appeared to be a human head. And a body. And just as I realized what I was touching, the lid of the deep freezer flew all the way open, and the man inside started pulling me into the freezer.

I screamed like I’ve never screamed before.

And my brother laughed.

That’s right. My 12 year old brother could not stop laughing.

He had spent hours in preparation. He unscrewed every single lightbulb in the basement. He unscrewed the lightbulb in the freezer. He even took the time to clear out the deep freezer so that he would have room to lie down inside.

He put on long underwear and layered clothing – just in case he was in there for awhile.

And when he asked my mom to please send me down to the basement to get some chicken and to tell me that the lights might not work, my mom said, Okay.

She didn’t ask any questions. She didn’t think, “Hmmmm…. that seems weird.” or “My sweet, innocent 10-year-old daughter…” Nope – she just asked me to go get some chicken.

I think this really explains a lot about my childhood. (This post explains a lot too.)

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25 Comments

  1. Mom

    October 30, 2012 at 1:35 pm

    Okay – well – that’s just not true. Well – SOME of it isn’t true. Were the light bulbs out? True. Is our basement creepy? True – was then continues to be ( it does have a floor however) Was your brother IN the deep freeze? False – He was ON the deep freeze….in his insulated clothing in a sleeping bag….waiting for you. I guess I didn’t think it through when I agreed to participate.
    Was our deep freeze a big chest type the size of a coffin? Yup šŸ™‚ Did he grab you when you grabbed for the lid? So you say…..boy you sure did scream!

    would it help if I apologized?

    You could always tell them about what Uncle Dave put in the freezer a few years later – that was kind of a pay back to me šŸ™‚

    I still love you.

  2. Kate

    October 30, 2012 at 1:44 pm

    Clearly, I’m stalking your blog today.

    That’s pretty darn funny!

  3. Donna M.

    October 30, 2012 at 2:19 pm

    So tonight as I’m going to sleep, I’ll start laughing and my husband will say, “What did Anna blog about today?” This is hilarious. I can totally picture it. I bet your mom was laughing too. I know mine would have. My parents took great delight in scaring us and I loved scaring my kids and now my grandkids. I haven’t been able to get my 12 year old grandson to go back into my attic since he was 6. He won’t even go upstairs or watch anything scary with me. I’ve been trying to get him to watch Sixth Sense or The Others, but he just knows I’m gonna scare him so he won’t do it. Also, what did Uncle Dave put in the freezer??

  4. melyssa

    October 30, 2012 at 2:31 pm

    Hilarious! And so mean!

  5. Lisa

    October 30, 2012 at 2:36 pm

    Wow! I would have been traumatized for life!

  6. Christina

    October 30, 2012 at 5:24 pm

    I’m glad she posted this explanation, because I was all, “DIDN’T YOU WATCH THAT VERY SPECIAL ‘PUNKY BREWSTER’?! Never get in an abandoned fridge!”

    You both are awesome.

  7. Beth McHale

    October 30, 2012 at 5:59 pm

    Ok, I have to say that that is THE MOST frickin’ hysterical thing I’ve read in a while! I should mention that the only reason it’s so flippin’ funny is because it didn’t happen to me! Thanks for the laugh!

  8. Becky

    October 30, 2012 at 6:24 pm

    Hilarious!!! I just read this out loud to my parents. Your mom has a much better sense of humor then mine…she was only concerned that you may be “hurting your mom’s feelings” by writing stories that include her. I think it’s awesome.

  9. Jeanne

    October 30, 2012 at 7:11 pm

    Oh, I think I will be doing this tomorrow night… it is just too good to pass up. My 23 year old daughter told me to check out your blog ~ love it!

  10. hollow tree ventures

    October 31, 2012 at 12:03 am

    I’m just so, so glad my brother never thought of that.

  11. Paige Kellerman

    October 31, 2012 at 1:13 am

    Yep, that woulda scared the crap out of me..LOL

  12. Jackie

    October 31, 2012 at 3:33 am

    I will do this tonight on our house..

  13. Laurie

    October 31, 2012 at 7:42 am

    Did you pee your pants? I surely would have. Wait……..I think I just peed mine reading this! Sounds like you grew up in a fun loving family to me.

  14. Kristin C.

    October 31, 2012 at 8:32 am

    Bawhaha! Too stinkin funny. Well, it is now. I’m sure it wasn’t funny when it happened šŸ˜‰

  15. imklvr

    October 31, 2012 at 8:48 am

    Honestly, if your mom wasn’t backing these stories up, I’d swear they weren’t true! Just too, too hilarious!! So mom, what DID Uncle Dave put in the freezer?? Inquiring minds want to know!!!!

    Love you both!

  16. [email protected]

    October 31, 2012 at 11:07 am

    So funny! That sounds like something my brother would do!

  17. Marcy

    October 31, 2012 at 1:47 pm

    Oh my goodness! How amazingly terrible! I like how your mom corrected some of the details, too. šŸ™‚ One of my older brothers once hid under my younger brother’s bed and grabbed his ankle from underneath (after we had all just seen “Carrie”). That was some impressive screaming too. In my memory, he covered his arm with ketchup, but I think that’s only from my imagination. (And why were we letting a 6-year-old watch “Carrie”?!) Ah, siblings.

  18. Michelle

    October 31, 2012 at 2:36 pm

    Oh, that is the MEANEST, mosty wonderful prank ever!

  19. Mom

    October 31, 2012 at 5:16 pm

    Okay – Here’s MY freezer story.
    Same creepy basement, same huge freezer. And it helps to remember that we live in Michigan.
    I went downstairs to get something out of the freezer for dinner one late Fall afternoon – I was preoccupied as usual and wasn’t really paying much attention. I opened the large coffin-like lid and saw a big black garbage bag sitting in the middle of the freezer. I couldn’t imagine what in the world it was or how it got there. I opened the bag – which was partial opened anyway – and was shocked to see a pair of HUGE eyes staring back at me!!!!!!!!! I screamed much in the way Anna must have screamed that night and ran shrieking up the stairs.

    I don’t remember now which one of the kids – maybe both…came back down with me. We looked again and discovered a large deer head with antlers in the bag.

    It still didn’t solve the mystery of who? why? when?

    When I was finally able to talk to my husband and ask what he knew – his answer?

    “oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you that Dave has a deer head he wants to mount and I told him he could keep it in the freezer until he can get it in”.

    Nice. Fine. Thanks for telling me. Your brother is no longer invited over for Christmas – and for that matter – neither are you.

  20. Geri Johnson

    October 31, 2012 at 8:58 pm

    This was a deliciously awesome prank & I wish I had thought of it! šŸ˜€ šŸ˜€ šŸ˜€ I think it was great that your mom agreed to participate! Most mom’s would’ve gone all Momster on their sons for endeavoring to play a prank on a little sister! But instead your mom embraced the joy & humor of a good prank. She didn’t know that you would feel scarred for life by it. Lots of people have these kinds of experiences as a kid but don’t grow up to complain about their mom in a public blog. Anna, dear, I think you need to stop blaming your poor mom for everything that goes wrong in your life. At some point you just need to move on! Plus I think I wanna be BFFs with your mom! I just know we would get along great! šŸ˜€

    Many years ago when my son was about 3 yrs old I was setting up my Christmas decorations. One of my plastic reindeer’s heads had come off but if you set it just right on the body it would stay where it was supposed to. But if you touched the table or breathed on it the head would fall off. For some reason my son was terrified of the reindeer when it was headless. He would scream bloody murder in this really high pitched ARRRRRRRRRAHHHHGGGGHHHHH & run around the house while I chased him with the headless reindeer. This would make me laugh so hard there was no sound & tears would leak out of my eyes & I think I even peed my pants. But I kept chasing him & he kept screaming & you don’t see him complaining about how I mistreated him when he was a youngster do you? He’s 26 now & he doesn’t even have a blog. So Anna, dear, get over it! And tell your mom to call me! šŸ˜€

  21. thedoseofreality

    November 1, 2012 at 9:26 am

    I am CRYING with laughter at the original story and your mom’s freezer story! Both are just SO AWESOME!! šŸ™‚

  22. Kristy Broussard

    November 1, 2012 at 11:51 pm

    This is all sooo funny!!! I love reading about “the life of Anna and her mother”!! You two are awesome!! šŸ™‚

  23. Alex

    November 11, 2012 at 6:23 am

    Hahaha! This is sooo funny! I will try this at home! I can’t stop myself laughing with your freezer prank!

  24. Michelle

    July 4, 2013 at 11:28 pm

    Your family is fantastic!!

  25. Jordon

    July 18, 2013 at 11:21 am

    Our brothers must be the same kind of evil. When I was in high school, I think I was 16, so my brother was 14, I was up late studying one night. He told me goodnight and went downstairs (or so I thought.) He hid around the corner in the kitchen and waited until he saw me go into the bathroom to brush my teeth. Then he snuck by my without me noticing and hid beside my bed in my room. This is how the scene played out:

    I came to bed, super exhausted, and laid down. I thought I heard something, and since I was the only one still awake in our completely dark house, I held my breath and listened. Nothing. I convinced myself I was being a chicken. Then, I reached over to set the alarm clock on my nightstand. AND I FELT WARM BREATH ON MY ARM. I laid back down, possibly having the onset of a heart attack, and said, out loud, “Oh man, I need to go to the bathroom.” I then sprinted into my mom’s room and jumped in her bed, screaming hysterically, mind you, that someone was in my room. She, sat up, still half asleep, and right then my brother burst into her room screaming. I burst into tears, my mother was LIVID, and Dylan could not stop laughing, even after getting grounded. And, by this point, my little sister (12, who I shared a room with) had come in, and was trying to make sense of things, and said, “You thought some psycho was in our room and you just left me?!?!”

    To this day, I can’t be the last in the house to go to bed, and my sister still brings up my leaving her alone to die. And, my brother still taunts me for talking out loud to my “killer.”

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