27 Reasons Why We Shouldn’t Get A Dog

Big Hairy Dog passed away over a year ago at the age of 14. We loved him. He was a huge part of our lives, and saying goodbye was harder than I even imagined.

The kids have been begging for a dog for the last six months, but there are a million reasons why this isn’t a good idea.

Here are 27 of them…

1. We JUST finished remodeling our house. New hardwood floors. New cabinets. New, freshly painted walls. A dog will ruin all of it.
2. I hate the wet dog smell.
3. Our backyard is almost always muddy.
4. I don’t know where I would keep the dog food.
5. I already feel like I spend half my life taking KIDS to the doctor. Now I will be taking the dog to the vet too.
6. Grooming. The end.
7. I don’t like when my legs get itchy while we’re giving the dog a bath in the backyard with the hose.
8. The dog hair. Everywhere.
9. I have a white couch.
10. When our last dog had diarrhea on the carpet, Even Steven cleaned it up by cutting out a big square of carpet right in the middle of our hallway. This really happened.
11. He might eat the legs of my favorite dining room table.
12. He might chew my new favorite chairs.
13. My house will smell like dog.
14. Our last dog ate all of the ornaments off the Christmas tree one year. I don’t want that to happen again.
15. It will get in the trash.
16. It will need to be walked. Even in the rain. And in the snow. And in the freezing rain. And in the hail.
17. And then it will be wet and need to have its paws washed before it gets on my WHITE COUCH.
18. The kids say they’re going to help so much, but they really won’t help so much.
19. We won’t be able to spend 10 straight hours at the pool this summer. Pretty sure we didn’t last summer either, but it would be nice to have that option.
20. We will have to make arrangements for the dog when we go on vacations.
21. There will be dog poop in the yard.
22. The kids will step in it.
23. I have been known to throw shoes away instead of cleaning dog poop off of them because it makes me throw up in my mouth.
24. We just got a new car. The dog will probably throw up in it. Or scratch it somehow.
25. The kids will feed it table food even though we tell them not to.
26. That will make the dog throw up on my new carpet.
27. See #10.

Guess what?

I asked for a dog for my birthday. I’m picking him up this weekend.

We’re getting a dog!