Big Hairy Dog passed away over a year ago at the age of 14. We loved him. He was a huge part of our lives, and saying goodbye was harder than I even imagined.
The kids have been begging for a dog for the last six months, but there are a million reasons why this isn’t a good idea.
Here are 27 of them…
- We JUST finished remodeling our house. New hardwood floors. New cabinets. New, freshly painted walls. A dog will ruin all of it.
- I hate the wet dog smell.
- Our backyard is almost always muddy.
- I don’t know where I would keep the dog food.
- I already feel like I spend half my life taking KIDS to the doctor. Now I will be taking the dog to the vet too.
- Grooming. The end.
- I don’t like when my legs get itchy while we’re giving the dog a bath in the backyard with the hose.
- The dog hair. Everywhere.
- I have a white couch.
- When our last dog had diarrhea on the carpet, Even Steven cleaned it up by cutting out a big square of carpet right in the middle of our hallway. This really happened.
- He might eat the legs of my favorite dining room table.
- He might chew my new favorite chairs.
- My house will smell like dog.
- Our last dog ate all of the ornaments off the Christmas tree one year. I don’t want that to happen again.
- It will get in the trash.
- It will need to be walked. Even in the rain. And in the snow. And in the freezing rain. And in the hail.
- And then it will be wet and need to have its paws washed before it gets on my WHITE COUCH.
- The kids say they’re going to help so much, but they really won’t help so much.
- We won’t be able to spend 10 straight hours at the pool this summer. Pretty sure we didn’t last summer either, but it would be nice to have that option.
- We will have to make arrangements for the dog when we go on vacations.
- There will be dog poop in the yard.
- The kids will step in it.
- I have been known to throw shoes away instead of cleaning dog poop off of them because it makes me throw up in my mouth.
- We just got a new car. The dog will probably throw up in it. Or scratch it somehow.
- The kids will feed it table food even though we tell them not to.
- That will make the dog throw up on my new carpet.
- See #10.
I asked for a dog for my birthday. I’m picking him up this weekend.
We’re getting a dog!