What I learned at a Pure Romance party

So… I went to a Pure Romance party last weekend.

For those of you that are not familiar with Pure Romance parties, it’s just like a tupperware party – but with high-end sex toys and “stuff”.

Yes, I said sex toys. And there’s a lot more that I could say, but my mom reads this blog, and I really don’t want to have to explain a bunch of stuff to her.

And my mother-in-law recently started reading, and let’s just not even go there… (Hi, Bing!)

So – about this party – I think it’s important to point out that it’s not all about furry handcuffs or the “Shades of Grey” collection. They also have great bronzer, makeup, body sprays, lotions and all sorts of pampering products – that don’t have anything to do with the bedroom. Unless you want them to…

Our “instructor” was named Sabrina – and let me tell you – that girl was amazing. She taught me things that I have never imagined – and I’m an avid reader of smutty romance novels. There are even a few things that I’m still struggling to comprehend.

And I pretty much can’t share a single one of them with you because – you know – Hi, Mom!

I can’t even post any of the pictures from the party here because they just wouldn’t be appropriate. I mean – everyone is fully clothed and all – but I don’t think my neighbor would appreciate having her picture on the world wide web holding a giant you-know-what. You know? (You’re welcome, Mrs. Land O’Lakes.)

And – I’m really not sure why I’m even talking about this party because Even Steven has a strict “no S-E-X talk on the blog” rule, so I have to follow his wishes on this one.

(but it’s possible that he looked like this over the weekend.)

Happy Even Steven

Because I made him pancakes and bacon for breakfast on Sunday morning! Geesh – get your head out of the gutter people. PANCAKES. That’s all!

Here’s one tip from the party that is safe to share with you.

Actually two tips.

#1 – Shave down. I’m referring to legs here, by the way. Did you know this? I had no clue. Apparently if you don’t want razor burn and want really smooth legs, you should shave DOWN.

If I ever shave my legs again, I’ll be sure to remember that and give it a try.

#2 – Pure Romance parties are best when you’ve had a couple of drinks before the presentation begins. Trust me on this one. But also trust me when I tell you to know when to stop.

Otherwise, you might wake up in the morning and find that you’ve booked your own Pure Romance party.

To be held at your house.

In two weeks.

If you’re super curious about everything I learned, you can hop on over to Sabrina’s Pure Romance website here.

Or like her on Facebook here.

Have you ever been to a Pure Romance party? Did you buy the $200 trapeze? Did you and your neighbor drink too much and decide that it would be awesome to host your own party? Are you afraid that you’re going to have to talk to your mom about sex toys later today? Give me the scoop in the comments…

38 comments on “What I learned at a Pure Romance party

  1. Ha! I hosted one last week! It was hysterical! I was a bit bummed that she had sold her last swing and so it wasn’t available for show and tell ;-)

  2. Yeah, I must be much older than my 42 years, or just the most boring person on the planet, but I am so not into sex toys.

    Now, pancakes! That would put a smile on my face, too.

  3. Well, I just turned….sixty-something….and I think sex toys are, well, interesting. ‘Nuf said. Dona

    • Well, then I just must be boring. I’m so not buying the swing.

      Now, if Anna had a pancake party I would drive over immediately. From scratch???

      • From SCRATCH! Every Sunday morning. And LOTS AND LOTS of bacon! And eggs too! Way better than sex toys…

        And – Dona – YOU. ARE. AWESOME.

  4. I went to one of those parties a few years ago and the “instructor” was my grandmas age (no kidding), so imagine your grandma with a “toy” in her hand telling you how to “play” with it. I think I peed my pants that night from laughing so hard. It was a great girls night. I was pregnant at the time so no drinking for me so no chance of me signing up for a party.

    • Oh my gosh – that totally makes my day! Maybe my mom should sign up to become an instructor? Now THAT would be an entertaining evening!

  5. My parents held a party a few years back. Imagine that… my parents! My hub and I attended. We had a blast– mainly due to my husband finding my parents order form and adding a few items…. much to their surprise. I agree… a couple of drinks before the party is a must.

  6. Normally your Dad and I read your post over our morning coffee and if there is any questionable content I read the post outloud and skip sections or substitute words if I think your Dad can’t handle it. Well. This morning I told him the internet was down. All over the world.
    Now, having just re-read your post myself, I have decided to address selected things – the pancakes for instance. Your pancakes with all the healthy stuff are surprisingly good. ALMOST good enough to put that smile on Even Steven’s face. (I wasn’t born yesterday)
    And – I don’t host Tupperware parties or any other domestic product parties. I do have a great story about our Bunco night where one of the women made jello jiggler’s in the shape of men’s you know what and that happened to be the night Nanny was a substitute (at age 105) and she thought they were in the shape of dog bones!! So, thanks for thinking of me…and be sure to let me know when your party is so I don’t come down.
    Oh – and about that trapeze, I thought you already had one for the swingset. Is there really room for two?
    Love Mom

    • I can’t even function, Anna’s Mom – I’m laughing too hard. I just peed myself a little and I have tears streaming down my face. How do I sign up to join your family? I’ll make the appetizers for Bunco night. :)

  7. Hi Anna –
    I love your stories. I’m not sure if its because I relate to everything you write, but sometimes when I’m talking to my husband, I see Even Steven. In all seriousness, I think they look similar, but the picture you use of Even Steven is just the funniest thing ever.

    Thank you!

  8. I totally want to attend one of these parties! But all of my friends are either pregnant, just had a baby, or are a prude.

    • Ashlee,
      That is the one thing about Pure Romance I love!!! You can be pregnant and still use most of their products!!!! I have used Sabrina throughout my entire second pregnancy and let me tell you. . . Pregnant or not this stuff is good enough for every one! Especially now that I am down to my last four weeks before this little guy makes his appearance, I need these products more than ever!!! And with help from my amazing Sabrina, who is not afraid to help you detail a plan with ideas if need be. . . I have been able to keep romance alive while losing all of my drive. So please tell all of your pregnant friends the good news!!! This stuff is also designed for them!

    • You should give it a try, book a party, I bet you will be surprised! I have been a consultant for a year now and it all started because I was curious to see what went on at one of these parties. So I decided to host one and I even invited my mom! If that isn’t bad enough I invited her 4 sisters as well! See I figured no one would show up, they were to scared or prudish or just not interested. Boy was I wrong! Turns out most women aren’t satisfied with the sorry excuses for sexual education we have been handed all our lives. Well I had a packed house and every time the consultant passed around a “buzzing friend” at least one of my aunts would scream when it was handed to her. One aunt threw the toy across the room as she screamed “it’s alive!” … Let me make this clear, we were NOT a family that was open to the discussion of sex on a daily basis before this. But my party sales soared over $1000 that night and I, as the hostess, walked away with over $100 in free product and a wealth of education that I had no idea I was missing! For a year my hubs and I kept talking about that party and how it had boosted my confidence. So I looked up the consultant and told her I was ready to really change my life and start doing what she does… Don’t prejudge your friends, you never know what questions they have been dying to have answered, but are too afraid to ask!

  9. I went to one once and it was pretty much like bringing a nun to such a party. I actually won something because we had to draw a very dirty picture with our eyes closed. Though I can’t draw anything with them open, I can draw a very inappropriate picture quite well when I’m not looking. I won a device called Mr. Goodvibe…. It made for a great gag gift for a party later that year!

    That shaving down thing is baloney. I’ve tried it a million times and I just find that it doesn’t really do that much shaving.

  10. I love your blog! My mother and I went to one of these parties with some of her co-workers! They picked on her all night for bringing me (I was at least 21 at the time). We aren’t exactly the type of family that talks about this “stuff” together lol. I know she ordered things, but never found out what! We have some of the “bosom buddy” sensitizing orange flavored cream from another brand party that we use as Chapstick in our house. Not sure what to do when the girls are old enough to read the container!

    Your mom should definitely come to the party! And tell your dad it’s a Tupperware party. Just think of the posts you could write about her reactions to some of the lights and twirling things lol.

  11. I too am a Pure Romance consultant. I bet a party with you and your Mom there would be the high light of my career. You all are too much! Thanks for the laugh.

  12. My friend had hosted a party….. I was prob preg, nursing or something..so i wasn’t invited, and I’m ok with that.

  13. Been to a ton of these parties, I get drug by my BFF who is a Pure Romance Consultant! Also here in Ohio! Platinum Pete rocks! That is all!!

  14. Let’s just say I’ve hosted a few such parties. They are too much fun no matter what you buy. The first one involved my husband and teenage son helping carry in CLEAR plastic totes. Yes, I said clear. My husband saw a “product” and said they needed to hurry or they’d be late to the movie. So the next party was held at my mom’s house. Yup, ALL of the toys on display for my mom. Trust me. I did NOT look at her order form. Some things are better left a mystery.

  15. sex toys, blah blah blah….ok so onto the good stuff….whats your pancake recipe??

  16. Hi, all! Anna, you are absolutely adorable, & I see where you get it ! Very entertaining read, & I am sure your hubby has a smile like that with or w/o pancakes, & on the daily! As far as the shaving tip: that was for the bikini area. You shave up for the legs. Shaving down on delicate skin is a MUST bc the hair follicles will become inflamed otherwise. It is ingrown hairs that cause the unsightly bumps. Coochy shave cream is a HUGE plus in all areas/ways! & it’s for the men as well bc we all know if he doesn’t like coochy on his face he needs to go anyway ;-).

    Kas-I cracked up at the “adding a couple items” to your parents’ order form! Now that sounds like my family! I would love to teach you all the things I taught Anna & her friends so plz feel free to friend me on FB, & like my pg: “Pure Romance by Sabrina Paff”.

    Happy Trails & Tales

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