So… I went to a Pure Romance party last weekend.
For those of you that are not familiar with Pure Romance parties, it’s just like a tupperware party – but with high-end sex toys and “stuff”.
Yes, I said sex toys. And there’s a lot more that I could say, but my mom reads this blog, and I really don’t want to have to explain a bunch of stuff to her.
And my mother-in-law recently started reading, and let’s just not even go there… (Hi, Bing!)
So – about this party – I think it’s important to point out that it’s not all about furry handcuffs or the “Shades of Grey” collection. They also have great bronzer, makeup, body sprays, lotions and all sorts of pampering products – that don’t have anything to do with the bedroom. Unless you want them to…
Our “instructor” was named Sabrina – and let me tell you – that girl was amazing. She taught me things that I have never imagined – and I’m an avid reader of smutty romance novels. There are even a few things that I’m still struggling to comprehend.
And I pretty much can’t share a single one of them with you because – you know – Hi, Mom!
I can’t even post any of the pictures from the party here because they just wouldn’t be appropriate. I mean – everyone is fully clothed and all – but I don’t think my neighbor would appreciate having her picture on the world wide web holding a giant you-know-what. You know? (You’re welcome, Mrs. Land O’Lakes.)
And – I’m really not sure why I’m even talking about this party because Even Steven has a strict “no S-E-X talk on the blog” rule, so I have to follow his wishes on this one.
(but it’s possible that he looked like this over the weekend.)
Because I made him pancakes and bacon for breakfast on Sunday morning! Geesh – get your head out of the gutter people. PANCAKES. That’s all!
Here’s one tip from the party that is safe to share with you.
Actually two tips.
#1 – Shave down. I’m referring to legs here, by the way. Did you know this? I had no clue. Apparently if you don’t want razor burn and want really smooth legs, you should shave DOWN.
If I ever shave my legs again, I’ll be sure to remember that and give it a try.
#2 – Pure Romance parties are best when you’ve had a couple of drinks before the presentation begins. Trust me on this one. But also trust me when I tell you to know when to stop.
Otherwise, you might wake up in the morning and find that you’ve booked your own Pure Romance party.
To be held at your house.
In two weeks.
If you’re super curious about everything I learned, you can hop on over to Sabrina’s Pure Romance website here.
Have you ever been to a Pure Romance party? Did you buy the $200 trapeze? Did you and your neighbor drink too much and decide that it would be awesome to host your own party? Are you afraid that you’re going to have to talk to your mom about sex toys later today? Give me the scoop in the comments…