There’s Someone Living In My Bathroom

Alice has an imagination that is even larger than her fashion sense.

Alice's Fashion Sense

She goes to ballet class every. single. day. It doesn’t matter that I’ve never taken her to a dance class or organized anything in her life.

Her dance class is very real to her.

Alice on a Mission

And most of the time, she’s yelling at me because we’re late.

Sometimes her dance class is in her room. Sometimes it’s in the living room. One time it was in the bathroom.

Alice Surprised

There are NO BOYS in her ballet class – but one time there was a girl named Bianca, and she had a penis. (I wish I was making that up.)

In addition to her daily ballet class, Alice also has a make-believe wiper.

Alice and Anna

This is a daily conversation at our house:

Me: Alice, did you go potty?

Alice: Yes, I did.

Me: Who wiped your bottom?

Alice: I pretended that someone wiped my bottom.

Sometimes I leave a dollar bill on the bathroom counter to tip the pretend butt-wiper that lives there.

Some days, I’m not sure what I’d do without her.

30 comments on “There’s Someone Living In My Bathroom

  1. Anna, Love the story and the photos. It is really too bad you don’t live closer. Dana’s younger daughter, Morgan, has an imaginary friend – a wolf – she assures me that he doesn’t bite and that he is a good friend. She has a huge imagination and probably has an imaginary butt wiper as well. I have a feeling she and Alice would be great friends.


  2. Ahh the world of girls. There is much to learn and lots of drama. The pictures are priceless! Too darling!

  3. hahaha – Love the pictures and stories. Alice sounds just like my granddaughter. So much fun, if you can stop laughing at the things she says.

  4. Those pictures? Priceless.
    As for the wiping thing, I’m pretty sure there are some adults around that pretend to do the same thing–or simply forget. Perhaps she’s ahead of her time…but much, much cuter ;)

  5. Oh Anna!! She is just a doll!! What a cutie!!!

  6. You are so blessed to have such a wonderfully imaginative child and you are wonderful to encourage her by tipping the wiper! My niece didn’t have just one imaginary friend, but a whole group that she called “The kids”. My sister had to make room in the car and at the dinner table for the whole lot of them.

  7. Love it. Keep that crazy humor, girl! Both of you, now that I think of it…

  8. I love your Alice! I love seeing a free spirit in work with the suppot of a great mommy! Love the pictures and, is there room in Alice’s dance class for me? I promise I won’t wear a tutu…that wouldn’t be pleasant for anyone. ;) Thank Heaven for independent girls!

  9. oh, that is so cute! from a house of all boys, I love this :)

  10. Warn me when your post is so funny that coffee will shoot out of my nose, will ya!! And I want that purse!!

  11. we must have a secret butt wiper too, because no one wipes their butt here. I love that Bianca has a penis. That is great. As I was sitting here reading your post, my four year old showed me his weiner because as he says “it’s sticking out.” Please help me Lord. Lol!

  12. This is what you call love.. As a mom and as a fellow kid (before) she is definitely so cute!

  13. Yeppers, a.dor.a.ble. Like mother, like daughter. I had imaginary friends when I was little! Lolo and Boogie. Now this was in the 50′s so that’s not like boggie to dance. I had to throw Boogie in the fireplace though, ‘cuz he (she? it?) picked it’s nose. Don’t know what happened to Lolo. He probably left. Afraid of fire, you know.

  14. Haha!!! This is fantastic! Now I know what I have to look forward to! I love her “dance costume”…my daughter has the same bathing suit…it’s so perfect with its little tutu!
    My little gal fancies herself a princess. In fact, that’s how we convinced her to get her hair cut the very first time…we told her she was getting in “princess haircut,” and she hopped right up into the chair. She’s a total diva. I’m wondering how that happened, considering I was a tomboy growing up! But have to admit that I’m loving indulging all her “girly” fancies. So much fun.
    Have a great weekend! Oh, and I have a blog hop going on through the weekend…stop by and link up if you get the chance! I always enjoy linking up at Finding the Funny! Take care!
    Smiles, Jenn @Misadventures in Motherhood

  15. You’re going to make it all the way through her childhood without going insane, I can tell. The ability to laugh at life is a great gift. Wonderful stories. But, I do hope you plan to go into a witness protection program before she hits her teen years. But, thanks for sharing anyway. I got scolded too much when I was little for just being me. It takes its toll.

  16. Does she go to ballet in those boots? Because then she’d be one heck of a dancer! I think a lot of my students “pretend” wipe their butts, based on the way the smell.

  17. What is up with little kids pretending to wipe? My eldest daughter is the opposite – she is paranoid about being clean – but my youngest never wants to wipe. And now that she’s discovered the joys of lying – well, I have to use my nose to tell!

  18. She is just adorable! What a great way to capture the real moments in life :)

  19. Sometimes I think we ought to make a Twitter hashtag for what we never thought we would say, or never thought we would hear! :)