28 Feb
When I was growing up, we had a Cocker Spaniel dog named Ramona Quimby. (Yes, I got to name her. Yes, I was in 2nd grade and reading the Ramona Quimby books at the time.)
Ramona was an amazing dog. She loved to snuggle and eat. And eat. And eat some more.
At one point, she was 20 pounds OVER weight.
My mom did everything she could to get Ramona’s weight down. She was on the green bean diet. The slim fast diet. The starvation diet.
But nothing seemed to work. So we ultimately put her on thyroid medication.
Yes – we blamed our dog’s weight problem on a thyroid disorder. The meds didn’t seem to do anything to help her weight, but it definitely helped her self esteem to know that she wasn’t fat – she was just big boned and had a thyroid disorder. The odds were stacked against her.
One night, after everyone had gone to bed, my mom went to give Ramona her thyroid medication – and accidentally took it herself.
I’m not kidding.
Later – in retelling the story to me – she said,
“I don’t know what happened. One minute, I was putting the pill in a piece of bread and spreading it with peanut butter. I looked down at Ramona. She was wagging her tail and waiting for her treat. And then – it was like in slow motion – I put it in my mouth, and I ate it.”
In a panic, my mom called Poison Control.
She didn’t want to wake anyone up – and she really didn’t want anyone to know what had happened – so she whispered into the phone and explained that she had, in fact, taken her dog’s thyroid medication.
The Poison Control operator acted like she got this kind of call every single day. She told my mom to calm down, drink a glass of water and go to bed.
My mom very quietly got ready for bed and slipped beneath the covers.
Just as she closed her eyes, my dad turned over, put his mouth close to her ear…
and started barking.
That was more than 20 years ago – but to this day – when my mom does something that isn’t so smart, my dad barks.
And my mom laughs.
What a great story to start the day!
Omg, that was seriously too funny and sad, but true if I ever did anything like this my husband would do the same and be all over it like that!! Thanks for sharing and putting a smile on my face this morning!!
Okay – listen – in my defense – I was on the phone with Nanny at the time and wasn’t paying close attention. SHE was the one who made me call poison control and then I had to call her back and report what the person had said! Wouldn’t you know your Dad – who never hears anything – would hear that!!
I think 99% of men who can’t hear anything are able to hear 100% of the things we whisper and would never want them to know. My father’s hearing isn’t so great as he gets older but damn if he can’t hear my mother whisper from 2 towns away. That would have been the scene in my house too. My mother downstairs whispering to poison control and my father upstairs and across the house and he’d have heard it!
sparkling74 recently posted..How I Know I Don’t Belong on the Amazing Race
love it, thanks for the morning laugh…and why is it that us moms have to do all the jobs, like giving the dog the medicine?
Oh my gosh your parents sound so fun! This is hilarious, and sounds unfortunately like something I’d do. I love peanut butter!
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That is fantastic and absolutely something I would do, especially because now that I’ve read this, I would be sure to keep telling myself- don’t eat the pill, don’t eat the pill. It reminds me of when I was in Paris last year and had the earplugs in my hand when I went to the bathroom and all I kept saying was- please don’t eat the earplugs, they are not circus peanuts even though they look like it.
sparkling74 recently posted..How I Know I Don’t Belong on the Amazing Race
That is hilarious! We have a cocker spaniel that looks just like Ramona. Elizabeth likes to eat too. ALOT. She has allergy medicine, and I almost gave her pill to my son once instead of his Claritin.
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That cracked me up! Your poor mom had a “ruff” day. She must be a good sport.
Priceless! Great way to start the day! Any time you post something that causes your mom to respond, you KNOW you’ve got a winner!
That’s what you call mommy brain. They tell us it will go away after the baby is born, but they’re all liars. This story was a great way to start my morning, HA! Your mom has got to be one badass lady.
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You. Make. My. Day.
Or is it your mom?
We also have a very overweight cocker mix… that eats and eats and eats and nothing we do can stop her. She is 15 years old… but still kickin’!
I can’t wait to tell this story to my husband and daughter.
Thanks for the laughs!
Hysterical! Great story. Your parents sound like they’re a riot! My father barked as well- just not in fun.
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Aww this is so sweet!! What a great story and ‘inside’ joke they share with each other! Love your parents.
haha… you’ve got a wonderful parents and your story makes my day complete, Anna! So funny yet lovely!
ruff ruff! 
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Oh, that is too funny. Glad she didn’t lie down and think she was going to die. Maybe die of laughter….
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That story cracked me up. Love your mom for trying not to bother anyone. ADORE your dad for barking!!
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Aren’t the folks at poison control wonderful? A few more times than I want to admit, I’ve been sure we were going to DIE and they always told me it was okay. And sometimes laughed at me — like the time one of my little guys decided to drink the whole bottle of green food coloring to see if it would turn his bones green. Not sure how he planned to test his theory…
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I have been laughing about this for TEN MINUTES. You are HILARIOUS!
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Jajaja…I can’t stop laughing!! Reminds me of my parents, sometimes I wish I could leave a hidden camera and record all the funny things that they do!
I just read this aloud to Spencer and Andrew. We’re ROARING, as your mom would say. Spencer just proclaimed, “They’re the BEST couple!”
Oh my goodness…I laughed hard at that one. Thank you for sharing!
o.m.goodness! i think i just peed my pants! its 12:32 am and i am howling, tears running down my face … my DAH might actually have something to use to get me into the bin tonight! you are a fabulous writer! THANKYOU so much for the laugh – you honestly have no idea how much i needed that! peace!
That is so something I would do.
Hahaha! You clearly inherited your parents’ sense of humor.
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