The List-Holes are out and about this time of year, and it’s important to keep your guard up.
You need to keep up with the List-Hole Hounders and put up with the List-Hole Judgers.
Try to navigate around the List-Hole Gatekeepers and try really hard not to be a List-Hole Divider. And no one can help you if you find yourself face-to-face with a List-Hole Ignorer.
From amusing to annoying, there’s more than one kind of List-Hole. And unfortunately, most of us fall into at least one of these categories.
The List Pusher has made a list and wants everyone to have a copy of it. You might find it in your email inbox, posted on facebook, as an amazon wishlist and attached to her Christmas card. The List Pusher is both helpful and annoying.
The List-Hole Hounder
The List Hounder wants your list – and she wanted it yesterday. She emails you. She calls you. She reminds you every time you speak. Get her your list, or you might not get ANYTHING this year! (Which is a total lie. The List Hounder will always buy you a gift!)
The List-Hole Gatekeeper
The List Gatekeeper wants to be the only one that gets your list. She wants to control your list. And she wants all of the List Hounders to come to HER for your list. She will decide who is going to buy you the perfume that you want as well as who should pitch in on that bathrobe you’ve been eying. As a general rule, List Hounders and List Gatekeepers don’t get along.
The List-Hole Divider
The List Divider serves as her own gatekeeper. She systematically creates a master list and breaks it down by price and category and thoughtfully decides which person will get which portion of her list. She bases this decision on what people enjoy buying, their budget and how likely they are to stick to the list. (List Dividers and List Ignorers – see below – don’t typically get along). List Hounders and List Gatekeepers commiserate in their frustration with List Dividers.
The List Doubter sees your list and wonders if you REALLY want what you say you want. “She wrote down that she wants a turtleneck from Macy’s – but everyone knows that LL Bean makes the best turtlecks.” The List Doubter uses your list as a general guideline to buy you SHOULD have asked for. List Dividers and List Pushers do not like List Doubters.
The List Judgers think what you’re asking for is too expensive. Or too inexpensive. Or too common. Or too redneck. Or too hoity-toity. You can’t win with a List Judger – and it’s a terrible combination if someone is a List Judger AND a List Hounder. Just keep your distance!
Most of the List-Holes can come together in their dislike for the List Ignorers. The Ignorers see your list. They may even acknowledge your list. And they will totally and utterly ignore your list every single time. The List Ignorers cannot be reasoned with. These are also the people that ignore wedding and baby registries and get really mad or hurt if you return their gifts.
So – what kind of List-Hole are you?