I’ve Raised A Bunch of Tattletales

My older two kids love to share our news with the world.

Alice (to the lady at the Disney Store): My mom is wearing her pajamas.

Miles (while at the checkout line at Target): My mom pooped in your bathroom. And we couldn’t get it to flush down.

I have quickly learned to keep some things to myself (when I can) – and to lie about the rest.

So now I can smile when I’m dropping Miles off at preschool, and he announces to the other mothers: My mom weighs 100 pounds. Isn’t that a lot?

And for Simon’s birthday, I made cupcakes with our ages on them.

My Kids are Tattletales

Like I said – I’ve learned what to keep to myself – and to lie about the rest.

29 comments on “I’ve Raised A Bunch of Tattletales

  1. Lol … my kids are huge tattletales on me I have to remind BIG when we are busy judging others for not being US that the kids will repeat word for word what we say ..

  2. love it!!!!!! I am just entering that stage with Noah, so I appreciate your awesome advice!!!!!

  3. Poop always makes me giggle!!!!!
    And today I need to have a laugh. Thanks Anna
    xxx Nat

  4. I SO want to be a member of your family! Maybe your kiddos need an EXTRA great grandma? ‘Course, I suppose I’ve ruined my chances after my comment on your eating in bed post. Sigh. Incidentally, when my daughter was in 1st grade, the school hired an on-staff child psychologist. He went class to class to introduce himself, saying that he was there to listen to problems the kids may be having or even GOOD things they may want to share. I taught third grade. My class was 1 hall over from my daughter’s but I could hear HUGE laughter at one point & something just TOLD me my kid was behind it. Yep. When Mr. Greenburg asked (at the end of his introduction) if anyone had any problems they’d like to discuss, she raised her lil’ goody-two-shoes hand & answered, “I don’t have ANY problems. But my mom says she has a sh**load of them. And you can talk to HER ’cause she’s in room 6 with the third graders.” Sigh.

  5. My middle one is a “sharer.” I make a banana sandwich we’ve always called a knuckle sandwich. We called it knuckle sandwich until he told his teacher mommy gave him a knuckle sandwich for breakfast.

  6. Isn’t it great when they blurt these things out to total stranger or a group of people? Kids.

  7. Hahaha….so are you saying you’re NOT 25? cuz you look it… I am honestly frightened sometimes to think what my boys say when I’m not around…heh.

  8. I am so glad I subscribed to your blog, Anna. I know you are too young to remember Irma Bombeck, but you are the current day Irma. Your posts are funny enough to end up in a book one day, girl. I don’t have kids and don’t often read the mom blogs, but you tell a story so well it is easy for any one to relate. I look forward daily to reading your posts.

  9. Seriously. Coke. came. out my nose.

    I remember those days well.

    My son will still do that, unless I specifically tell him not to mention something. Like when his teacher thanked him for her Christmas gift, and he told her that he bought her present at the Goodwill for a dollar. And my husband says I thought you bought that at TJ Maxx? Ooops!

  10. Awesome! I have a daughter with autism and she is brutally honest. The funniest part is that she is 13 so most people are pretty shocked when she is so honest. They aren’t quite expecting that much honesty out of a teenager. It makes for super interesting experiences!

    My favorite would have to be the Target bathroom story! I think I might have run out of the store. ;)

  11. “My mom pooped in your bathroom…..hahahahahahaha
    That type of karma is headed my way, as soon as the twins start to make perfect sense.
    Awesome. Just awesome.

  12. Your reader Gina hooked me up with you. My kids are grown, so I don’t normally read “mommy” blogs either. But you’re too funny!
    Brenda

  13. LISTEN TO THAT!!! Gina up there said your are the Erma Bombeck of today! Now TWO of us say it!!! Start writing that @#$@#% book! You SEE the respose you get from everyone! People can RELATE to you and your family! Oh, I wish you’d take me seriously.

    And aren’t kids just wonderful? You can’t wait until they start talking then wish they’d stop!

  14. Hahahahaha!! Isn’t this soooo true! I laughed so hard about the poop comment!! Yeah, and what do you do when THEY do things and YOU take the blame for it. Like when you have a teeny weeny little baby in the grocery store and they fart so loud you could have swore a stampede of elephants went through. Then people are staring at you like “As if!” in the market. And you’re like “I didn’t do it!” and they really just don’t believe you cause they KNOW it didn’t come from that little baby.

    Or, when that little baby grows up to be a 3 year old and is asking mommy why there are cameras in the store. You tell them there are people that steal and that is wrong, and the cameras are there to catch them. Then as you walk in the store and everyone is around your 3 year old proceeds to tell you in a loud voice “Hey Mommy you better not steal anything cause those cameras are gonna catch you!”

  15. Lol! You just make me laugh every time. My daughter can’t talk that well yet, but I’m a pretty straightforward person. If she inherited that…I’m in trouble!

  16. Lollll what a funny post! I don’t have any kids yet, but work at a preschool, and hear so many funny things from kids every day! Brutally honest! :D

  17. Ok, you are ADORABLE! The tattletale tag got my attention over at Tip Junkie. I had hoped for some tattletale advise and instead found myself laughing out loud! Thanks!

    amy @ whilewearingheels.blogspot.com

  18. Seriously awesome. I remember one time at my mom’s house…my son…straight faced looked at my stepdad and said “daddy hits mommy”. I about lost it. He doesn’t! But it was pretty awesome seeing the expression on everyones face.

  19. OMG I laughed and laughed and laughed. I’m totally teaching my kids that I’m 25 and weigh 100lbs. Loooove this post!

  20. Too cute! Yes that age is fullllll of truthiness. My daughter (almost 13) still tattles on me to her dad every.chance.she.gets. “Dad, she burned dinner. She was gonna make chicken but it burned, so now we’re having pizza instead. She put the pan in the sink like you wouldn’t see it…” yup.