I was a sandwich artist at Subway for a summer in high school. I loved working there, but making sandwiches wasn’t necessarily one of my strengths.

My manager agreed.

In fact, he suggested that I quit (before I got fired). These were his reasons:

• I used to eat at least five raw cookies every time it was my turn to bake a batch. I {love} raw cookie dough – and that white chocolate macadamian nut is no joke!
• I once burned 80 loaves of bread. Not good.
• Apparently, you’re only supposed to use seven olives on a footlong sub. I used to pile them on by the handful.
• You’re also not allowed to bleed in front of the customers. Those knives are sharp! Sooo not my fault.
• While cutting a loaf of bread, I once cut off the fingertips of my gloves. The customer complained (it’s not like I left them in her sandwich. Geesh.)
• I once told a customer that his credit card had been declined. I thought it was a funny joke. It was not.

So I took my manager’s advice, and I ended my career as a sandwich artist.

But no hard feelings. I still love me some Subway!