Finding a Babysitter: Then and Now

When I first quit my job to stay at home with my kids, I put an ad on to find a babysitter. I was hoping to find someone available during the day should I need to go to the doctor or want a little alone time during the transition from working to staying home.

Every person that applied to my ad kept saying, “I love to sing and dance.”

And I would think – Hmmm…. that is really weird. Who cares?

Well – turns out, I specified in my ad that the person coming to watch my kids MUST LOVE TO SING AND DANCE.


I even put it in all caps.

I also said something about feeding them healthy food and not letting them watch television.

I’m lucky that even a single person applied to that ad.

Nearly two years later, my ad would look something like this:

Looking for a Babysitter

Looking for a sitter with more patience than GOD that thinks she can handle my three kids.

Miles is obsessed with trash, Alice likes to “pretend” that someone wiped her bottom and Simon refuses to walk but loves to climb on the couch or the coffee table or whatever he can find.

Sitter should not have an aversion to poop, puke or snot and must be willing to accept unhealthy living conditions and not report me to child services.

Responsibilities include:

  • Taking Alice to her pretend ballet class several times a day
  • Following the garbage truck around the neighborhood for several hours on trash day
  • Promptly cleaning up every time Big Hairy Dog gets in the trash
  • Figuring out what number comes after “eleventeen

Television watching is completely optional. Feed them whatever you want. Let them watch whatever they want. Sing if you really want to. I don’t care.

Just keep them alive until I get home.

And whatever you do – don’t put my butter in the fridge.

14 comments on “Finding a Babysitter: Then and Now

  1. Hahaha! I totally relate. My 19 mo old has learned to climb. My entire day revolves around dragging her off the couches and chairs. It’s exhausting.

  2. I can’t read your post b/c the ad on the left is covering up half of it! Is it you or me?

  3. Ok… after I commented the ads disappeared… weirdo.

    I agree…keep them alive. But now my oldest is a built in babysitter…holla!

  4. Agree 100% to the updated add. I have to wonder about the people who answered with “I love to sing and dance”….and watch children? Really? Something’s just not right there, unless Mary Poppins is still alive. But I could swear I heard she passed away in a freak chimney accident ages ago.

  5. “Keep them alive until I get home?” That’d be one of my top criteria — right under “keep yourself alive until I get home!” :-)

  6. Babysitter is very important especially when we are working and our husband is also working.. I just love this post here!

  7. I have to wonder about the people who answered with “I love to sing and dance”….and watch children? Really?

  8. Sitting on my couch, alone, laughing out loud.
    If I lived close I would offer to babysit any time. My 16 mo would be totally mesmerized by your triple serving of hilarity.
    I only hope my kid(s) are as funny as yours someday.

  9. Bahahah. I remember when I was pregnant with my first I would regulate tv to barely nothing and I would listen to everything that came out of his precious mouth. Now I interrupt him to tell him to watch the tv haha