31 Aug
It seems that I get asked the same question a lot. Whether I’m spending time with my old work buddies or my friends that have been staying home for ages. It’s always the same question.
Do you like staying at home? Do you miss your job? Do you regret quitting?
And I always answer as honestly as I can – but I think that people don’t always believe me. If I really hated it, would I say it out loud? If I thought quitting my job was the worst decision I ever made, would I be honest?
Well – I will tell you this…
There are times during every single week – like maybe twice a week on average – where I think that my life was pretty great when I worked. It’s ususally when something annoying happens, like Big Hairy Dog gets in the trash.
Or when the kids are being super naughty, and everyone has to go to time out.
Or when I haven’t taken the time for myself – time that I need without kids – in a few weeks. And all I want is a few hours to myself – without a baby to breastfeed or a child watching me pee.
So - there are a few moments in every week that I don’t regret my decision to stay home – but I think about how great MY life was. How I could go for 8-hour stretches without putting anyone in time out or making anyone (but myself) something to eat. How I could be online or on the phone (work related, but still) for hours at a time without someone throwing a temper tantrum…. you get the point. I loved my job, I loved feeling independent and socializing with my co-workers. I had 8 hours of me-time 4 days per week.
So – like I said – a couple of times a week I think back on how great things were.
But at least once a day – even on the worst days, at least once a day – I think
I can’t believe I almost missed this.
I’m still amazed that I almost didn’t quit my job. I wouldn’t have been sad, because I wouldn’t have known any different.
But oh my gosh, I would have missed so much.
My kids would have missed so much.
I love staying home. I love how my kids have blossomed in the past several months. I love that I can spend my days nurturing them – when the biggest possible stresser in several weeks was my darn wall stencil…
I can’t believe I almost missed this.
And I want to be very clear here. There is no judgment whatsoever. I loved my job, and I don’t think I ever would have quit had Alice not been getting such high fevers, and I thought my staying home would keep her healthy. Working moms are great moms too. But for me – I worked, and then we rushed home for dinner, baths and bedtimes. Then I spent my evenings cleaning, preparing food for the next day, doing laundry… Only to start all over again the next morning – waking kids up way too early – rushing to daycare – leaving them crying with their teachers…
And the weekends were spent trying to jam in as much “family” time as possible – going to the pool, going to the zoo, taking family trips to the grocery store. I didn’t even realize it, but it was such a frantic pace. It was non-stop all the time.
I didn’t really know my kids – and I didn’t even know it.
And now we are just here. We can spend an entire day playing in the kiddie pool in the backyard.
We can take leisurely walks around the neighborhood. We can do all the things that I remember my mom doing with me when I was a kid.
So – for us – it was the best decision we ever made.
And I’m so grateful that I didn’t miss this.
I often get asked that too. Sometimes I think people assume that my husband must make a lot of money so that I don't have to work. But that is not the case. I often answer the "stay at home questions" with "I am so thankful that I am able to stay home – I KNOW that not every mom can. It's not easy, we make a ton of sacrifices. But for me every sacrifice (for example – no cable) is absolutely worth getting to nurture my daughter every day."
I am so thankful for this opportunity. Thank you for writing this because I needed to be reminded that staying home with my little girl is not a chore, it is a privilege.
When I quit my job it wasn't something that was planned. My husband and I were having serious issues with our oldest child (mental health) and it was stressful. Toss in a job in a small office where you are the only Conservative/Christian and was written up for listening to "hate radio" ie: conservative talk shows I was a wreck. After calling my husband, in tears, for the millionth time, we decided that I needed a break. So, I quit.
I'm not sure how we managed but we did. I was able to walk my daughter to school, help out in her classroom, be home with my youngest. It was BLISS but we knew my not working wasn't something we could continue.
Not long after quitting my job we lost my mom, MIL and FIL all within 4 months. It was rough. However, there was a silver lining. My FIL had a generous estate and with the money we got we were able to pack up and move to a new state.
Cost of living was lower, housing prices were lower, better schools, etc. We have been in Nevada for 5+ years and I am still blessed to not have to work. I was home for my daughter as she went through her high school years, I've been able to work in my son's classroom/school from Kindergarten thru 5th grade. I realize how much "childhood" I missed with the two older children but I am glad I get to be there for the youngest.
~ Nadine In Nevada
I konow exactly what do you mean!
I quit my job five years ago and since then I am stay at home mom to two wonderful and full of energy toddlers! (My son is almost 5 years old and my little girl almost 3 years old)
Your post is like typing my thoughts:)
Thanks for sharing..
Maria
Ps I'm your newest follower I would love it you pay me a vist at my blog
Loved your post Anna. I am glad you decided to stay home. My husband's daughter is a stay-at-home mom with 4 little ones — 6 and under. She learned to make her own diaper wipes with paper towels and the other things she puts onto them. She has great money sense and endless ways to stretch her money. The oldest is doing well in school (Kindergarten so far) and the time spent with her children has paid off in the development and adjustment of her kids. Diane Pietrowski Wahl
I agree with you. I used to have the best of both worlds – half time teacher which I loved – but decided to stay home full time after my 3rd. It is tough. There is no one there complimenting your work, giving you feedback (unless you count someone who can poop while you're talking to them positive feedback). I've been home a little over a year and I think it's been tough but awesome at the same time. One day I will go back but today I think I'm where I'm supposed to be and where my family needs me to be. Good post.
Your posts about being a SAHM truly warms my heart. I love reading them. It also makes me so sad that while I know I need to make the same choice for my family my dear sweet husband just doesn't get it. He is not a jerk or an ogar lol but he doesn't see this as being such a big deal and it breaks my heart.I forward all your posts about it to him
Heather, I made my case to my husband in September 2011. If you are still working and want to be home, this is what made sense to my guy. I told him that I constantly felt like I was drowning. Never enough time for housework, or the kids, or him. Never any time to catch up – never mind get ahead. Logical reasons made a lot of sense to him, and my being home has made such a difference in our lives. We are no longer rushed, harried or stressed. Hope this helps.
Heather,
I was in your same situation. For my husband, it came down to numbers. When we had our second son, we found that it would literally take half of my paycheck to pay for both of them to be in daycare (I was a teacher at the time). We decided that I would take a year of leave and watch other children as well as my own. Four years later, I’m still at home (with 4 kids now) and still watching some other teachers’ kids. For us, it works. I get to contribute financially, my kids have playmates (that also keep me accountable for making sure we’re being productive), and I’m home to see all those little things. It took a lot of prayer and a lot of restraint not to constantly nag, but my husband did finally come around. Prayers for you and your family! I know how difficult it can be!
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Love this post. I was never a working mom, so I have nothing to compare it to – but I know I would trade my SAHM "job" for anything!!
err… WOULDN'T trade it for anything!
Also a SAHM and I can't imagine it any other way. I don't think I bear to miss it. Thanks for the heartfelt post.
I am a new follower from the Show and Tell linking party at Blue Cricket Design. If you have a chance stop by http://messforless.blogspot.com and say hi.
Thanks!
I found your blog on the 36th Avenue blog party.
I have never been a working mom, just a stay at home mom, but there are days where I wish I could have used my Interior Design degree that I worked soooo hard to get. I love being with my babies but sometimes I think I have missed out. I am not sure what I think I missed out on because I would have missed so much more with my kids had I not decided to stay at home. I love how you pointed out that you did not know what you were missing when you were a working mom. It gives me great comfort to know that I get to be with them everyday and that I really 'know' them. Thanks so much for sharing your perspective. I am a new follower.
Jen
Hi Jennifer,
I’m a stay at home mom but I’m able to use my graphic design degree from home…during nap times and evenings, etc. I would think your interior design degree would be something you could also use from home. Anymore it seems like the sky’s the limit for us, huh! When I see all these awesome craft blogs by these amazing ladies I’m always inspired to try new projects and think of more things I can use my talents on. I’m sure you could do the same with your talents…it not now while the babies are little, then in a year or two? Hope this is an encouragement to you. :^)
–Karen
Hi Anna, I found your blog through your guest post on Mod Podge Rocks! I'm a new mod podger and love to learn new project ideas, but have loved spending some time on your blog reading about your family even more. My husband and I haven't been blessed with kids yet, but hope to soon- and when we are we both agree I will stay home for exactly the reasons you describe!
here here! well said! I was at home for 2 anmazing years and now I work part time.
i'm so glad you get to stay at home. i absolutely love staying with my kids. it is the best feeling to have your kids all around you, isn't it???
It's good to know I'm not alone in my thinking! I quit 2 yrs ago. My working weeks sounded like yours- right up to the crying kids that the teachers would have to restrain while I left the building. UGH. I worry that my brain and my education are all going to waste as I sit here at home with my three kids. But then, yes, there are those moments that I wouldn't ever want to miss- my two yr old talking up a storm these days, my four yr old's class trip today, and picking my 6yr old up from school everyday on time because he misses me so much when he is at school. Thanks for sharing. You just wrote what I have not been brave enough to write…yet on my blog! Thank you.
"I can't believe I almost missed this" – DITTO!
Great post! Bought tears to my eyes! Especially after having an insane colossal meltdown morning like we had this morning and then could not WAIT to drop the kids off at pre-school! But now that I've calmed down, I miss them already:( So I use this time to wind down, re-charge and start the after-noon off right!
I had 2 boys in 2 years and it damn near killed me! But i love every moment (well almost every moment!) Thanks for keeping it real.
Your newest follower,
Sarah
I'm so glad you didn't miss it either! It's tough–the nonstop drudgery of it all-no positive peer feedback, no me-time, the scraping and scrimping to make ends meet. I don't think I left the house for ten years–couldn't afford the gas! But now that my kids are teenagers it's finally paying off. They are happy, healthy, and whatever befalls them in life, they'll have a happy childhood under their belts. How priceless is that?
Hi Allison,
I love. love. love this post. I hope you don't mind, but I linked this post on my own blog tonight, I just loved what you had to say. I signed up as a new follower too, I'm so looking foward to reading more of you!!
Leanne @ Because (I Think) I Can
Oops, I meant Anna, not Allison, sorry! Had something else on my mind! Which is funny, because my daughter's name is Anna, the whole reason for the post I mentioned above!!
Leanne
http://becauseithinkican.wordpress.com/2011/11/12/keeping-sane-part-ii/
What a wonderful post! New follower, just wanted to say "great blog!"
I love your honesty. I have been a stay at home mom for 89 years now. We also had medical problem arise with the littlest. I would of never been able to catch it as fast or care for her as I did had I not of been with all 3 kids 24 hours a day. I am thankful everyday (even the really hard days) that I can bee there for my family. I also am VERY thankful that my husband worked so hard in his career before he meet me so that we could financially afford to make this decision. I agree… I would have missed this.
So, so true! Kudos to you for being honest. I couldn't agree more.
I completely agree. Some days I think staying at home is harder work than working, but it's a privilege that I have been granted that I wouldn't change.:)
Love this honest post! I need to be better at getting that me-time so I can keep my perspective on the privilege I have to stay home with my kids.
I love this post. Yes, we all have those moments/days/weeks where we look at life on the other side, but I'm so thankful for the time with my little gal, who is hugging my head and stroking my hair as I type; so glad I didn't miss this.
I do love staying home with my kids. Except for when they irritate me.
I mostly just miss the concept of a lunch break. The idea that I had a whole hour to myself to do whatever I wanted. Often, that was just pulling down to the park and eating a sandwich while reading a book, but I didn't have to answer to anyone for that hour. NO ONE. That's the only part I really miss!
I love being a SAHM! It's the best!
It is posts like these that make me feel good about my decision that I just made this past year! Love reading your blog! You are hilarious!!!
I'm glad that the choice you made was the right one for you and your family. It seems like you made the best choice from this post. And even though it surprised you – you did what you had to do and it turned out perfectly!
Love your bio about the mom jeans. Made me chuckle!
I thought I would stay home 3 months which turned into 6 then 12 months then 13 years. Do I think working moms are good moms? yes, but do I think they are missing something they can never get back? yes. Your kids will grow so fast it will take your breath away. Once school starts you lose complete control of time. I am not sure why that is but before you know it they will be 13 and your time with them will be winding down. I have 5 years before my oldest moves out….leaves the nest….flies the coop….5 years before she leaves me… shaking and confused, wondering where time went. I spent my entire life wanting and waiting for kids. Now I have them I am shocked at how fast it is going. I always imaged having the little ones with their messed up words, lisps, fat chubby thighs, blonde curly hair, sweet pink checks ad endless questions “why?”. Those days are already gone for me. I now have a beautiful, self-confident, loving, empathic, bossy, short tempered, wonderful, sweet, eye-rolling teenager and a sweet, missing 2 teeth, Lego loving, beyond intelligent, inquisitive, never-forgets anything, always does what he is told, perfectionist, who is still cuddly and momma loving at 6 years old. The days of innocence and never ending discovery are past. Of course life isn’t bad, just different. Less sweet and more anxiety.
Great post! You were honest and yet understanding of your blessings. It is nice to hear!
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Great post; thanks!
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Thanks, I mean it. Mr. Smitty, to this day, doesn’t understand why I want to be at home. I’ve been a SAHM since the day before my oldest was born, it’s not like it’s new to us… it’s been more than three years and another kid later! I had him read this post and told him that you wrote it better than I could ever try explaining. It’s not like I don’t miss a life outside of my kids, it’s just that I enjoy being with them so much, the everyday frustrations, lack of a social life, dealing with every bump, scrape & argument and lack of extra income are 100% worth it!
Mrs. Smitty recently posted..Cold Season and Ear Infections
I’m glad you didn’t miss it, too.
It’s definitely a decision each mother has to make on her own – I never thought I’d want to be a SAHM, but now I can’t believe I ever doubted my decision.
They grow up so fast.
Enjoy every moment.
Stopping by from Mama Kat’s
OneMommy recently posted..Choosing to Become a SAHM
I love this! I could have written this myself! I definitely miss socializing though. With other adults. In person.
Kadie recently posted..Stormy
Oh, what I wouldn’t give to have this be my life as well. Sadly, it’s just not in the cards. Our finances dictate our life right now and sad as it makes me feel, there’s just no way around it. I try my absolute best to be in the moment with my kids in the evenings and on weekends. We talk A LOT. My husband and I make sure to be able to go on field trips and to space camp later this year. It’s hard as hell and something I’d like to change. Someday it’ll work out. I just hope it’s before they’re teenagers.
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All it takes is an airplane to fly low overhead and I think back to what my life COULD have been like had I gone back to being a flight attendant. I would have missed three weeks at a time of my child’s life, only to be home for 11 days? No thanks! We all have our reasons for our decisions, and not one particular reason is right or wrong.
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I stayed home for 15 years. I work now only 16 hours a week but I miss weekly being home full time. My youngest is 10 and I often feel guilty she has not had what my older two had for as long. I would quit work in a minute if I won the lottery!! My working helps with the new chapter of our lives…sending kids to college so I am good with that and my work is wonderful and understands my situation (my oldest daughter has c.p) and I could not work for a better boss but I still wish I was home.
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I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. (I found you via Hooking Up with Hepworths…Flaming Jesus really got my attention
. I used to describe myself as a ‘reluctant stay at home mom’. I worked in real estate (I don’t know if you’ve heard, but the market has kind of been in the toilet for a while now) and when we found out we were having twins, I really didn’t have a choice about going back to work. I was bitter for a while – about a year I’m sorry to say – because being a mom is 1,000 times harder than any job I’ve ever had in my life, but I’ve slowly come to embrace it. I have moments when my heart is so filled with love that I think it might burst. I often get teary in public places (like the zoo, for example 
because I just can’t fathom how lucky I am. Being a full time mom is not all roses, it’s often bittersweet, but the good definitely outweighs the bad. Thank you for saying it so beautifully and honestly.
thank you so much for posting this. i am currently considering leaving my job to stay home with my kids. my daughter is school now and my son will be starting preschool next year. i wish i had been able to do it earlier but the finances just weren’t there. but i knew that if we decided to have a third child, i would become a stay-at-home mom. i am afraid of the judgement i will receive for my decision, from my family/friends/coworkers, but i know what is best for my family. i don’t feel as though i am raising my kids, since they are with a sitter all day. when everything that needs to be done is done each evening, it’s time to put them to bed. like you, i don’t judge working-moms or stay-at-home moms. we each do what we need to do for our families. right now, i feel as though i’m missing everything. thank you again, you read my mind when you wrote this!
Yes, I enjoyed staying home when my kids were little. The only thing I missed was the paycheck! But I’m a pro at working within a budget. I cooked from scratch, sewed ALOT of clothes, quilted, thrift store shopped and mainly paid attention to my kids with little or no TV, lots of library trips and family events. They are all in their 20s and 30s now and remember those days…especially the food! One of the best things I overheard was my son’s friend remarking, “Dude, yours is the only family I know who has the TV on but everyone is holding a book!” Stay at home moms, count your blessings!
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Love your non-judgmental “this is how it is for me” approach to what can be a hot topic! I would love it if you would come link up with Busy Monday (open Monday through Thursdays) at A Pinch of Joy, a linky party for ideas that make life better, easier and more fun!
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Wow Anna! You said exactly how I feel! I love being home with my son most days.
It really is amazing watching a child grow up! Thank you so much for sharing! Come link up at my place and share with my group if you can!
Melody
ChattyChics.com
http://chattychics.com/2012/02/28/need-inspiration-wild-wednesday-5/
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Excellent post! I hate/love being a SAHM, but I can’t imagine missing all those special moments with my girls. I know in the end I’ll be so grateful I didn’t have to miss out. Thanks for a great post!
Thanks for this reminder. I stay home too. I never started a real career after college and I always wonder what it would have been like. Sometimes I wish I could have that. But I know I’d probably hate the day to day of going to work and coming home just to put the kids to bed. Thanks for reminding me that the grass on my side of the hill is just as green as it should be:)
Hello! I posted a similar post in my blog! I am glad I do not have to miss a thing!
http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8878673295824275664#editor/target=post;postID=1413559248975212768
sorry! this is the post
http://moncstories.blogspot.com/2012/03/motherhood.html
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My cousin just introduced me to your blog and this post was the first one I read. I couldn’t agree more with what you wrote. I used to be an Engineer Officer in the Army (my husband is too) and I had both of my girls on Active Duty. I got out of the Army after I finished my 4 years when they were 3 and 1. A lot of people ask me if I miss the Army and I always tell them that the Army was a great job, I loved what I did, but I wouldn’t trade the level of peace that now exists in my home for going back to work. What you described as the FRANTIC pace that existed in your home, is exactly what I lived. My husband got the left over – leftovers, which wasn’t much and I don’t think we were as happy as we are now! It is a much better balance in our home and I will never forget the day that my 3 year old daughter said to me, “I’m so happy you don’t have to go to work anymore mommy”. Yes, we don’t have nearly as much money as we used to, and we can’t afford all that we used to do, we have to live on a budget now- but NO amount of money could ever trade the amount of self-worth I have as a wife and mother!
{Kathy} I have had those “I can’t believe I would have missed this” moments SO MANY times over the last 18 years. It would make a great journal for Stay At Home Moms wouldn’t it?
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This is so sweet, honest and well-written. I love staying at home with my daughter. For our family, it really works. Not only do I feel that it’s the best thing for my daughter and for me, but it’s also really good for my husband. It means that he gets to focus on his work, and during the small amount of free time that he has, he gets to spend it with us, instead of worrying about laundry or dinner. I take care of all of that, and it makes me feel good to not only take care of my daughter, but also my husband. He works incredibly long hours, and I’m happy that I can be there to support him. I’m also grateful that I have the option to stay home, because there are so many great moms out there who don’t have a choice but to work. Although staying at home is the best thing for my family, I have so much respect for moms who work outside the home. They have so much on their plate, and how they manage to juggle it all is a mystery to me.
This is a great post! I was a working single mother for seven years and let me say, I detested every moment. I wanted to be the one to kiss my children when they got boo boos, not the day care lady. I wanted to teach my children instead of “kenneling” them into the public school system. I wanted them to learn about life other that what our American culture teaches latch key kids.
Finally, I got my prayers answered and even though I was very late, I now am home with our sons, I teach them, and they are learning incredible values that cannot be obtained anywhere but in the home.
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I want to thank you for making me laugh so hard!!! I havent in a while and all of a sudden I cant stop reading all your posts cause I know the next one is going to make me laugh just as much or probably even more…. !!!! God bless you and your crazy kids that obviously inspire you so much.
I took off the past two years from teaching to be home with my son. I loved every moment I spent with him, but I always had that feeling that I “missed” teaching. So I decided to go back this past August, knowing I am due with our second baby this January. It’s a trial run, I guess you can say. Seeing if being a “working mom” works for me and my family… Well all I can say is – I can’t wait to quit!!! I know I am doing good things teaching and helping young people, but what I really want to be doing is spending time and teaching my little guy every day. Every night I go to bed, I think, I just want to wake up and spend each day with my son. And I know soon enough I will again. And I’m sure I will have those moments like you where I think “my life was pretty great (and easy!)” but then I would miss all those really important moments like my son learning to walk, and talk in sentences, and sing his ABCs and count backwards (and he just turned 2!!) and all those other great sweet moments, like exploring our yard together and playing baseball for the hundredth time that day, and going to the duck pond, and singing songs. When people ask me (and I know they will again when I home again) “Don’t you go crazy being at home?” I will answer like you: I am so grateful and lucky to get to stay home with my kids. Work will always be there, my little guy being 2 years old and needing me to kiss his boo-boo or sing him twinkle, twinkle again and again, won’t… And thank goodness my husband feels the same way. It works WAY better for us for me be home
LOVE your post!
I think you hit the nail on the head – when we make the decision to stay at home, it’s less about us and almost completely all about our family. I had to make the decision recently whether to go back to work or not, also to a job I loved. But I knew that I could not be the mom my older kids and new baby need me to be AND pour myself into my work. So for this season, I am opting to be home and enjoy this time I still have with them. Too soon they will all be grown and on their own. I will never regret sacrificing to stay home, but I know that I would regret the decision not to, no matter how hard it is some days!
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I couldn’t have said it better myself! I was a FT SAHM for my son’s first 15 months, then had to go to work full time so my husband could quit and focus on school and stay home with our son for the next year and a half. I loved working, but I feel like I missed so much! Now I’ve cut back to part time, and I’m so glad!
Absolutely understand….. I was away from work for a few months when I had my first kid. Many days I felt like I was going mad…. the perks at work, like dedicated lunch hour, time to chat with colleagues, stood out. I wasn’t quite prepared for the crying that I didn’t know how to stop, or “someone” thinking I was having a relaxing day at home while he worked and wondering why I couldn’t keep the house in tip top condition since I was home….
But there are those brilliant moments that I was glad that I was around, especially when the little one started giving mega smiles and chuckling laughter. I’m going to try again when my 2nd one comes. Hope all goes well this time =)
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Thanks for this post! I needed to read it this morning. Sometimes I get wistful when I remember my pre-children working days but like you, there are so many times I have to catch my breath at how fortunate and blessed I am to be able to see so many wonderful things every day – and seems simple, but to be able to reach out and hug them whenever I want. Oh no, now I am regretting the preschool decision!
I could totally relate to your post, Anna. When my son was born, I took three months leave but went right back to work. I was in management and was the family breadwinner while my husband earned a full-time MBA. For the next three years, our son was in day care. We hated it. He had 14 ear infections. He cried when we left him…. then developed an indifference at being left. It was gut-wrenching and stressful. So…. we hired a nanny so our son could at least stay home and not have to be dragged to day care. It worked well for nine months…. until we had to fire her for theft! YEP! By then, I was almost at the end of my pregnancy with our daughter so I went on maternity leave for her and never went back. That was over a year ago and I could not be happier! The hardest part of quitting work was that I was at the pinnacle of my career making serious cash. So I might never make that kind of crazy money again… sigh…. oh well, it is a price I am happy to pay to be raising my kiddos, especially the baby, who I nursed for 13 months. It also gave me over a year with my son before starting kindergarten recently. I am so grateful we at least had that time together.
Some days I wish I could be a stay at home mom. But it isn’t that simple for everyone. I carry the insurance, I have been with my company for 10 years and I make decent money and have great benefits. We would not make it on just my husbands income… even with having two in daycare starting this summer I still make more than I pay the babysitter. Do I think about the moments I miss – yes all the time. but then when I am home I make the best of it and appreciate every moment I have with my child. I communicate openly with our babysitter and she tells me how his day was. I wish we could win the lottery and staying home would be affordable, but for now I just have to treasure all the moments we do have together.
From the posts I have read of you stay at home moms, I have a little different perspective. You see, I am a stay at home gram!! I decided to leave the “corporate world” in 2011, following a few health issues with my husband and the birth of my third granddaughter. I cherish every day spent with these three amazing girls (ages now 6 yrs, 2 yrs, 18 months), and wonder how sometimes I get through the day without half the energy they have to be able to keep up. Are there days that I regret not working outside of the house, sure, when I look around and see that nothing I wanted to do that day, got done. But then one of the girls gives me a hug, kiss or just that adorable smile with her head tilted and nothing else matters. Regrets, sure, but the biggest one was not doing this when my daughters were little. (Oh, yeah, wish me luck, twins are expected in June. We will find out what they are tomorrow. My husband said don’t even bother, as they are two more girls. You see, all he ever wanted was a son, but instead he is destined to have a HAREM!!
When asked if I like being a SAHM, I simply reply “yes” with a warm smile. My husband and I were together 10 yrs before having our son (and married 5). I was married to my job for 12 yrs; I was the breadwinner as well. I achieved a fancy VP title, ran two departments, owned a home, and could certainly afford babysitting. Yet still, once my son was born, after leaving to work and returning from work in tears everyday, I knew that my inate urge to be at home was so strong, we gave it all up. How did we afford it? Got rid of the house we owned, rented for way lower than our house payment, paid off our car with money saved to get rid of the car payment and watched our money closely for the first time ever. Also, I found a stay-at-home job that brings in enough to cover the rent. We make it just fine. Of course it came at a cost (literally). We were sure we couldn’t “make it” with me not working, but we wanted it bad enough to make great sacrifices. My husband and I both know it was all worth it. We can have all the other stuff again, when/if we decide we do. In the end, it was definitely the right decision for us.
I worked full time until my son was 9 months old, hated it every day. Got a part time job 3 days per week, was a perfect happy medium! Got laid off a week before my 2nd was born and I have to say it was the best thing that could have happened. I have sacraficed a lot; no cable TV (no loss), no big trips to someplace warm with my husband every year (not that I would want to leave my kids), no fancy nails (huh – don’t like long nails), cheap hair cuts when I could even find time to get one, eating in not out, no fancy cell phone. But really -they were not sacrafices, because this is what I really wanted! Now my kids are all in school and I do work part time again…around their school schedules, so I can be there for the Valentine Party. I will be home on their day off so we can go sledding, I can volunteer at school. My job is nothing fancy, not using my degree and I don’t regret it for ONE minute! Someday I would like to get back into what I used to do, but climbing that corporate ladder just isn’t important anymore…I found 3 more important things!