Conversations with My Mother

My mom and I talk several times a day.

My mom

Since Even Steven hates talking on the phone, he just can’t imagine what on earth we talk about more than once a day. Our conversations are short – usually 5 – 7 minutes long. But they’re packed with information – or weather…

Call #1 – Early

We usually talk early – around 8 am. My mom gives me the weather report for herself, me and sometimes my brother who lives in Florida.

And she’ll share the national forecast if I don’t stop her first.

We tell each other what the rest of our day looks like – share advice on what to do when – mom reads my blog post out loud to me, and we plan when we’ll talk again.

Call #2 – Lunch

Sometimes she talks to the kids while I make their lunch. We talk about whether we accomplished the things we were hoping to accomplish that morning.

She reads me your blog comments that have come in so far.

Sometimes she reads me my blog post again.

And, of course, she shares my afternoon weather report.

Call #3 – Naptime

This is when my mom has had her 4th pot of coffee for the day and is ready for some lively chit chat.

Unfortunately, it coincides with me getting my first alone time all day and wanting to exercise, eat, watch TV, blog or do a project. She usually does all the talking this time.

She reads the rest of your blog comments. Asks how certain commenters are doing (like Kai), suggests future posts, tell me who else she’s talked to, what she’s selling on eBay, what thrift sales she’s been to and what my weather forecast looks like for the rest of the week.

While she talks, I make myself lunch and eat it, get the mail, and sometimes start exercising.

Call #4 – Late Afternoon

Just before Even Steven gets home, we usually talk for a fourth time. We make sure everyone is still alive, share any other news about our days, she reads any comments that trickled in during the afternoon, and we share our plans for the following day.

How often do you talk to your mom?

29 comments on “Conversations with My Mother

  1. My mom only lives a few miles from me, but if we don’t touch base at least once or twice a day, it’s very, very rare. Since I work during the day, she’ll usually shoot me a quick email and then I’ll text/call her some time that afternoon or night. If we don’t actually see each other that day, we always at least get an update at some point.

    Sometimes it’s a wee bit much and I need space–the sound of my text alert will cause my angst to rise–but I know she cares. ;)

  2. Generally you get a silly reply from me, but not today. I am so touched by this post, & knowing how close you & your mom are. You asked what we talked about with our moms. Anna, my mother flat-out despised me from the minute I was born & wasn’t the ‘beauty’ she’d expected. Long story, but the only conversation was hers about how ugly and useless I was. Stupidly, I tried for the first 38 years of my life to win her love. Then she wrote something that made me finally give up. It moves me beyond belief, this wonderful relationship you & your sweet mom have! CHERISH IT. Truly! LOVE YOU (BOTH) so much!!!! P.S. I promise to be silly again tomorrow, ‘K?

    • Kai,
      I want to commend you for taking the emotionally difficult- but ultimately so much healthier- attitude of ending your attempts to get your mom to love you. I watched my BIL try to get his dad to love him for years and it was heart breaking. The problem is THEM not YOU and you cannot change them. Some people are just sociopathic and do not have the capacity to love anyone but themselves. We see this go horribly wrong in cases like Scott Peterson and Josh Powell. While I don’t know you, I am proud that you have decided to enjoy YOUR life and YOUR family and leave behind those that are incapable of bring love and only bring hurt to you.

  3. I don’t talk to my Mom everyday, but whenever I do she asks about our weather. Living in different states she relies on the weather channel to keep up to date on what we are experiencing. Typically she’ll say “They said it’s raining there, is it raining?” and when I let her know the sky is gray but there is no precipitation, she says “Are you sure? Because (insert name of weather channel anchor currently on air) says it’s raining there and he/she is almost always right.” To which I almost never reply “I think I would know if it were raining here Mom.” :)

  4. Unfortunately I am in the same boat as Kai, pretty much. It is so nice to hear about your relationship with your mom. If it wasn’t for role models like you guys showing us and reminding us that closeness and love is possible between mother and daughter, we wouldn’t have been shown how to have closeness with our own kids. What you shared means a great deal because it provides people with hope.

  5. I’m writing this post so that it can be included in the afternoon run-down from your mom – Hi! – the weather here is good – high 70s and not a cloud in the sky….

  6. Well, in fairness to truthful reporting – sometimes YOU do call me too! and I can usually tell when you are all out of breath that you are exercising….and then I almost always call you back. As far as the weather reports go – ever since that hurricane incident (where you lied to me!) I guess I have been a little weather obsessed…and since we are also in different states somehow that matters (to me :) ) And really, when I know that all is right in your world and that of our Florida family, then I am able to get on with life in my little world (until the next call!)
    Love you Anna B!

  7. I used to talk to my mom on the phone several times a day, too. We lived only a few miles apart and I would see her a few times a week. She’s been gone 10 years and I still miss talking to her.

    • I’ve been away from home for a year. Now I’m home we keep on talking. We slept until late at night just discussing things I’ve missed while I’m away/

  8. You guys are too cute. I talk to my mom pretty often, but, now that all ten of us are usually out on our own, I think she enjoys hiding from us when she can.

  9. I usually have one long call with my mom every day. And she is totally obsessed with the weather. She lives in New Mexico and misses our Utah weather, so she is always asking how it is here, and then telling me how warm it is there (I hate Utah snow so I am usually jealous) and then she texts me ever single time it rains there.

  10. Aww, I’ve never commented before, but this post made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I only talk to my mom about once a week; it’s my Dad that I share this relationship with. Almost exactly. We talk at about 6:15 a.m., lunch, 4:30 p.m., and sometimes in the evening after dinner. It took my hubby awhile to get used to it, but he’s fine with it now, and my 2 year old daughter *expects* her grandpa to call, just as much as I do! {embarassingly, we live in the same state, Michigan, but STILL talk about the weather every day}

  11. My mother lives next door and I can go weeks without talking to her. So weird. In the summer, she is out on her deck a lot and I am outside all the time, so I talk to her just about every day, usually in the morning when she is reading the paper and having coffee. But in the winter, I have to walk ALL THE WAY to the front of the house because the sliding glass doors are locked and it’s just a pain. Our phone conversations are very fast. With my sisters too. Their husbands always know it’s one of us because they will be in mid sentence and then hang up. I can’t imagine talking several times a day.

  12. I pretty much talk to my mom constantly. Normally we talk before we’re at work, text and e-mail (and the occasionally lunch date) during the day, then at least once if not more after work. We live 10 minutes away from each other. I wouldn’t trade this closeness with my mom for anything, and I really hope my children feel the same way about me when they’re older. Great post, Anna.

  13. Before I had kids, I talked to my mom about once a week. Now, though, it’s at least three times a day. She knows EVERYTHING! Oh, and if you’re wondering, the weather here in Utah is beautiful today. Close to 90 degrees! Tomorrow it’s supposed to rain (I love spring/summer storms), but it will be in the low 70s again before my 4 1/2 year old son’s soccer game on Saturday. :D

  14. That is so sweet…keep it up! I made sure to talk to my mom at least once a week, and would just call out of the blue to ask her stuff. I was very lucky to have a great relationship with my mom. :D

  15. I wish my mom would tell me my weather. I get asked every morning by my kiddos before school and have to look it up. I should do it the night before, but hey, this is Kansas and the weather changes overnight! :) Uh oh..maybe I’m going to be the one calling my kids to tell them the weather when they’re grown. That’s ok, as long as I’m not still making them sack lunches!

    It’s actually kind of funny that you wrote about this today. My sister and I were just talking about this last night!!

    I can go weeks without talking to my mom. I love her, but on the phone she is so distracted! When she calls I know it’s 1 of 3 things. #1. Ooh! I’m at Walmart and saw *insert anything here*! Which inevitably turns into an entire inventory at her Walmart. Sometimes I just want to say, yes mom, we too have a Walmart with those things! :) But I don’t. #2. Would you check at your Walmart and see if they have this thing for me? or #3. Did you know so and so? Nope. Oh, well they died (or are really sick or had an accident) and I thought you might like to know. VERY rarely does she actually give me news about someone I did happen to know. And every time she calls me she starts a conversation with someone she “ran into” at Walmart! I suppose Walmart and the obituaries are my mom’s equivalent of the weather! :) Don’t get me wrong, I love my mom very very much, but her phone skills are definitely lacking.

  16. I’m much older than you my dear. At 44 I lived through the $0.25/minute long distance calls. I moved out of state after I graduated from college so I never established a call pattern like you. We lived far enough away that it required a 3 hour drive to the airport, a 3 hour plane ride then another hour-ish drive. While we lived in TX and NC we saw my family maybe 2x a year, maybe once. We spoke on phone maybe every week or two. Now- since my father passed away- I speak to my mom rarely on the phone. She is a texting fool. For years my sister called her all the time but honestly I don’t know if she still does nor not . Last year my mom woke up one day and couldn’t hear. She lost all the hearing in one ear and 80% in the other so texting is easier for her. She types away and since we all have iPhones we can send really long messages. It is odd to me but she prefers it and I don’t mind. What I find hilarious is that we can be in a day long back-and-forth texting session but something gets started via email and we keep that conversation as an email while still texting the other condo.

  17. I actually talk to my mother-in-law more often than I talk to my mom. She lives about 5 minutes away compared to my mom’s half hour. When I call my mom, it normally turns into her complaining about work or some issue with someone and I can’t handle all of the drama. My mother-in-law asks about the kids and if there’s anything she can do to help me out. She’s sweet and I feel lucky to have such a great mother-in-law! Don’t get me wrong, my mom’s awesome, but I normally call because I need help with a project or we have to coordinate visits/gifts/dinners, etc.

  18. I used to talk to my mom 3 or 4 times a day. I miss that. She has Alzheimer’s now and no longer remembers me. My last birthday was the first time she didn’t call me first thing in the morning and sing Happy Birthday to me. I never realized how much that meant to me and I cried all day. I wish she could remember all that we were to each other. Cherish those calls!

  19. I talk to my Mom a lot. I quit my job a couple of years ago, when she had some severe complications from a back surgery gone wrong (5 major follow up surgeries in two months) to care for her. She almost died, I was told she should go to a nursing home and was shuffled between several doctors. We finally got a great doctor at one of the rehabilitation facilities. Today she walks with only a cane, but still needs me around, so I moved in with her. I’ve always been close to her, so it was a given to do this, even though I loved living alone. Kai is so right, to cherish what you and I both have been blessed with…wonderful Moms. I want to send a virtual hug to Kai.

  20. I just read the comments (as Anna suggested) and want to say thank you to those of you who spoke to me personally! I get so much from Anna’s blog & have truly learned to love her and ALL of her sweet family! I just want to add that I didn’t talk about my mother to make anyone pity me! Honest! I just felt sort of wistful! You readers of Anna’s blog are AWESOME! (And Paige, you are freakin’ hysterically funny!)

  21. Good lord! That’s awesome that you’re so close/informed about the weather! I talk to my mom once every week or two. We get along best from a distance. :) There are 8 of us kids, so she’d be on the phone from sun up tp sun down if she talked to each of us daily, let alone 4 times a day!

  22. I love how you write about your mom. You two clearly have a great relationship! I talk to my mom or my dad a few times a day. And since they live a half mile away from me, the kids and I pop in all the time.

  23. I can’t imagine talking to my mom that often in one day!! LOL! We do however talk at least once a week, sometimes more, and then it’s usually an hour or so of useless conversation… so come to think of it, maybe we should do it in shorter spurts, daily! hmmmm.

    I love your stories about your mom. I’m always surprised when I see her picture, because I always imagine her to look like Ellen Degeneros (sp?) mom!

    xo, Leanne

  24. i talk all day long to my mom too – though really just since i had kids and am home, i don’t remember making multiple calls from my office cubicle.

    in general however i hate talking on the phone ala even steven, so if anyone but my mom calls i put one of my kids on which given their ages (2, 6 and 8) can be a little hit-or-miss with the caller.

  25. What a wonderful post. My mother died when she was only 59. Our last phone call was while I was at work. As there were multiple distractions, it seemed like a good idea to say goodbye and try again the next day. Except there was no next day. I envy your relationship and ability to stay in touch and close.

  26. You are so lucky to have this relationship with your mom. I would give my left arm to have a parent who was even interested in talking with me…mom or dad.

    Cherish this.

  27. I talk to my mom (both my parents, really) at least 3 or 4 times a day. They live about a half hour away, but mom knows I have an hour commute to and from work, so we talk in the morning on my way to work (don’t worry, blue tooth!), during work if we have something specific to tell each other, before I leave work, and at least once in between the time I get home and the time I go to bed. Some people think it’s ridiculous, but I am thankful we’re that close, and I know someday I’ll look back fondly on these multiple conversations a day instead of saying, “I wish I had talked to mom more.”