I am aware that people are totally jealous of my hottie husband, Even Steven.
And in honor of Valentine’s Day coming up in just a few days, I am sharing a few tips on how to snag an Even Steven of your very own.
The first thing you need to do is find him. It shouldn’t be too hard. I knew I’d found my Even Steven the moment I saw him wearing duck boots next to a keg.
Your Even Steven might look like this:
Or even this:
You will know him when you see him. And once you see him – you need to figure out a way to keep him.
This is what worked for me:
Be Where He Is
Basic stalking is not that hard. You go where he goes.
Wow – this is your class schedule / your favorite grocery store / your gym? Mine too.
Oh my gosh – this is your favorite bar / coffee shop / hockey arena? Mine too.
No kidding – these are your friends? They totally remind me of my friends!
Become A Klepto
Every time you see him, take something of his before you go home. That way if he breaks up with you, he’ll have to see you at least one more time to get his stuff back.
And that’s when you’ll be wearing your skinny jeans and convince him to take you back.
Decorate His Car
Sneak out to his car, and decorate the dashboard with heart stickers. Even Stevens love that stuff!
Note: This isn’t the best idea during the summer months. The stickers don’t actually come off if they’re left in the hot sun to bake on for awhile. Also not a great idea if he shares the car with his brother. (Sorry Luke!)
Next time you’re at his house, surprise him with sheets that you decorated yourself!
Nothing says creepy stalker like a giant sheet marking your territory. (And now you know Even Steven’s real name…)
Good luck snagging your Even Steven!
Even Steven installed a lock on the basement door last weekend to keep kids from accidentally from toppling down the stairs. The door doesn’t always like to stay latched, so the lock should do the trick.
Seeing it reminds me of when we were living at our last house. Our basement door had a deadbolt lock on it, and I used it religiously. Every single time I closed the basement door, I turned the deadbolt lock.
And on more than one occasion (I refuse to say exactly how many times), I received an angry call on my cell phone.
Even Steven: Where are you?
Me: I’m at the grocery store. Remember? I told you I was running out after the kids went to bed. I asked you if you needed anything.
Even Steven: Do you want to know where I am?
Me: Ummmm…. I’m assuming you’re at home with our sleeping children.
Even Steven: I am. But I am LOCKED in the basement. Did you know that you were locking me in the basement when you left?
Every time I got one of these calls, I would leave my cart, or my friends or my treadmill, and rush home to let him out.
And every time I would promise never to do it again. (Especially since we had an unfinished basement.)
Seeing the lock on our new basement door makes me wonder if my old habit will resume.
And where I’ll be next time I realize that I locked Even Steven in the basement…
For the past six years, I’ve been absolutely terrified of having family pictures taken professionally.
Seriously – terrified.
I would watch all of my friends hiring photographers and coming home with the most amazing pictures of their family. I would feel envious. I would think about having pictures taken. And then I would chicken out every single time.
Because I knew my kids would be wild.
I knew they’d get hyper and not settle down and refuse to smile like normal human beings.
I knew I would feel stressed.
And I knew that we’d walk away without a single decent family picture.
So Even Steven and I decided we’d just make strong efforts to take family pictures on our own. Which is how we ended up with this beauty (taken by my talented sister-in-law.)
But when my other sister-in-law (the trashy one) and I were debating about what to get my mom for Christmas this year, we kept coming back to a professional family picture. Of all of us.
We were all going to be together for a week in Florida, so what better time to hire a photographer and take some family pictures?
My kids behaved just as I expected them to.
They were wild.
They were hyper and would not settle down and refused to smile like normal human beings.
I felt stressed.
So you can imagine my surprise when we got the pictures a week later.
The photographer captured my wild, crazy kids perfectly.
And this one? It kills me…
You can’t even tell that we were glaring at our kids and threatening to throw away all of their toys, can you?
I especially think the magic of our family comes through in these pictures. Don’t you think?
And who knew that Even Steven was so darn photogenic? Whew – I know how to pick ‘em!
So – I think I’m officially over my fear. If my kids can behave as terribly as they did for this photo shoot, and we can get pictures like this? Then sign me up every single year!
Although I do think a lot of it has to do with the talent of our photographer. She didn’t ask me to do this, but if you’re ever in the Sarasota area, call Kerri Gagne Photography (you can follow her on Facebook here.)
Are you as afraid of family pictures as I used to be? Do you think you look better than your husband in all of your pictures too? Any family picture horror stories to share with me?