Category Archives: My Husband
My adorable cousin got married just over a week ago.
And ever since then, the bride and groom have been Facebooking up a storm. It’s so sweet.
They’re posting things like:
“Good morning my handsome hubby.”
and
“Good morning my beautiful wife.”
and
“I’m so lucky to be married to you.”
and
“No. I’m so lucky to be married to YOU.”
All of this sweet, gushy newlywed love got me thinking about my Facebook interactions with Even Steven.
He’s not on Facebook – but if he were – I imagine our exchanges would look something like this:
Or maybe something like this…
I swear – you lock your husband in the basement a few times, and he never lets you live it down.
Or maybe something along these lines…
Yup – I still cut his toenails.
I’ve never seen a guy get so grossed out by a little sharting.
But sometimes he can be really sweet, too…
Do you and your husband Facebook with each other? What do you say?
29 Apr
We logged over 30 hours in the minivan with all three kids on our family vacation last week.
I have so much to tell you about the trip, but I think we should play a little game first…
I like to call it:
Even Steven: On a Road Trip
Here’s how it works.
I give you a little scenario that happened in the car, and you try to guess what face Even Steven made.
The person that gets the most right, gets to take my place on the next road trip with Even Steven!
Okay – let’s start.
Scenario #1
We’ll start with an easy one.
What face did Even Steven make when he was trapped in a minivan with all three kids and his wife for 30 hours (over the course of 10 days)?
If you guessed this face, then give yourself one point!
Scenario #2
What face did Even Steven make when he was driving his family of five through the mountains in heavy rain and fog?
If you guessed this face, then give yourself one point!
Scenario #3
What face did Even Steven make when the older two kids were fighting like cats and dogs in the minivan, and I spent my time taking pictures of them instead of trying to stop the fighting (and yelling)?
If you guessed this face, then give yourself one point!
Scenario #4
What face did Even Steven make when we spent an hour driving out of our way to find an Urgent Care in the middle of nowhere, North Carolina to get medical treatment for sweet Simon (who had a corneal abrasion – most likely from some beach sand)?
If you guessed this face, then give yourself one point!
Scenario #5
What face did Even Steven make when I drove the car for two hours (out of 30)?
I got a little tricky on you there, didn’t I? If you guessed it right, then give yourself a point!
Scenario #6
What face did Even Steven make when the kids pretended to be circus animals and yelled at the top of their lungs (while the baby played with a prescription bottle)?
If you guessed this face, then give yourself one point!
Scenario #7
What face did Even Steven make when I was too car sick in the mountains to parent (or take pictures)?
If you guessed this face, then give yourself one point!
Scenario #8
What face did Even Steven make when the kids and I ALL slept at the same time?
If you guessed this face, then give yourself one point!
Anyone that got all eight points, pack your bags!
You get to take my place on the next family road trip. You just have to take pictures rather than parent, sleep when the kids sleep, and occasionally get too car sick to do anything other than eat twizzlers and complain.
Any winners?
PS – Don’t Forget to Win What You Relish!
My Sweet Relish giveaway ends tomorrow. Be sure to join in the fun – and you could win what you relish! Click here to enter.
Even Steven’s birthday is coming up, and I’ve been struggling to find the perfect gift for him.
Miles suggested we buy him a new house (without any wallpaper). And Alice suggested we buy him a new car (without any goldfish crackers smashed into the seats). And Simon just wanted to make sure we had cake.
You can see why I was struggling…
And then, last night, Even Steven came in the house after vacuuming out my minivan to find me sitting eating ice cream and playing on the iPad that he got me for my birthday.
And I immediately knew the perfect gift for Even Steven.
I’m going to get him a new wife.
He really deserves so much more than I can give him.
Even Steven’s Perfect Wife
- She will shower on a daily basis. And if she goes to the gym or exercises (which she will pretty much every single day), then she will shower twice a day.
- She will actually look like this – no photoshop needed.
- She will enjoy cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, ironing and yard work
- Not only will she enjoy cooking, she will be able to cook things that are edible (and healthy)
- She will look good in spandex, and she will want to go on bike rides with Even Steven
- She will not have man hands – or a crazy eye.
- She will not have a blog. And she will not know how to use photoshop. And she will not post pictures like this all over the internet (or in the bathroom.)
- She will enjoy going to sporting events – and she will not drink too much and see double during the first inning or fall asleep during the first half.
- She will never do any of these things – ever.
- Or these.
- And she would never, ever do anything like this. NEVER EVER. Seriously – NEVER.
- Oh – and she wouldn’t have one of these…
If anyone knows of this perfect woman, have her shoot me an email.
Hopefully I can bring a smile to Even Steven’s face on his birthday!
